Do I look like I get approached by women, in Chicago? (Alpha: gangs, bars)

[NealIRC]

Originally Posted by rzzzz

It's not that easy if you are emerging from the sewer holding an anti-zionist pamphlet in your rubber gloved hand.

The (non-rubber) gloves are just a prop.

But if it matters..

Non-glove photos.





By the way, as far as fashion goes, I'm looking into if there are any counter-arguments to that. For example, women can view you as just trying too hard.

[Drover]

Originally Posted by NealIRC

It didn't seem many of the posters here had any great insight on women, so I'll dance.

Women Explained

Women are some of the most evolutionarily evil creatures. For example, women never be the 1st to say something or start a conversation with men they don't know.

Women never tell a joke to men. They never try to make men laugh, or try to be "funny" with guys. It's always guys that try to make women laugh. Women just have horrible personalities.

Women never laugh unless men laugh 1st.

If men never be the 1st to talk to women, then women never be the 1st to talk to men.

Women are never "more social" to men they don't know. When women are surrounded by introvert men, they parrot off, or mirror off, the introvertedness.

Want to know what it's like talking to a woman when you're a man? Do you know what they say? "The minimum" required.

Friendships, relationships, and marriage:

In friendships, relationships, and marriage, women want the upper hand. They want the guy to desire them more than they desire them.

Women only want to be with a man who loves her more than she loves him. Women do not want to love their man and give them affection, they are only interested in being loved. There's a difference between receiving love and giving love. Women want to be loved more than they love back.

Women have to have this in control otherwise they will not be in a relationship with a guy.
So guys, it is important to remember that your girl will never really love you or care that much about you, they are not capable of those feelings. They're extent of loving you extends to you loving them more, and loving them 1st.

Women and attraction:

Women expect men to entertain them and keep them “unbored.” If not, she will lose interest in them. Just like women want to be loved than to love, and are better at receiving love than giving them, they want to be entertained and unbored than to entertain.

Women are about receiving happiness rather than giving happiness. This is why women will not affiliate with a sadder guy. Men will approach a girl that looks depressed, rather than the other way around. (Evolutionarily, happier women have no causation with depressed men.).

As happiness is the key to attracting most women, by this analogy the easiest women to attract are the saddest women, and the hardest to attract are women at the top of the happiness-chain.

It's a true wonder why women aren't battling each other to latch onto someone who regards them so warmly.

Let's cut to the chase, and I'm only feeling free to say this because you're asking about your appeal to women: the main reason you're not having much luck with women is because you're bloody frickin' weird. And there may not be anything you can or even should do about that, and hopefully you'll get lucky enough one day to find that one woman out there who finds your particular brand of weirdness endearing.

[emathias]

Originally Posted by NealIRC

Those are true for men that women already know or are already in the friend-zone.


Perhaps you have stories of how you were approached by women that didn't know you.

I've not only been approached by women who didn't know me, I've gotten unsolicited numbers from them, I've been asked on (and gone on) dates with them. It is not the norm for women to initiate contact, but it does happen.

[Drover]

Originally Posted by emathias

I've not only been approached by women who didn't know me, I've gotten unsolicited numbers from them, I've been asked on (and gone on) dates with them. It is not the norm for women to initiate contact, but it does happen.

I thought you bat from the other side of the plate... ?

[rzzzz]

You could join an urbex group. maybe meet some velmas from columbia college or UIC with a shared interest in tunnels. Seems pretty 90s to me but maybe they are still around.

[Slanderous]

I'm going with no.

[NealIRC]

Originally Posted by Drover

the main reason you're not having much luck with women is because you're bloody frickin' weird.

But women won't know that if they never approach me.

[NealIRC]

Originally Posted by emathias

I've not only been approached by women who didn't know me, I've gotten unsolicited numbers from them, I've been asked on (and gone on) dates with them. It is not the norm for women to initiate contact, but it does happen.

Though I suspect that there are women who read this and find it nonsensical or fantastical.

If I were counter-arguing you, I'd be asking for particular examples and finding ways to disprove them.

And if I agreed with you, then I would simply say "the art of getting approached by women" is not something I discovered yet.

[knitgirl]

Originally Posted by drover

it's a true wonder why women aren't battling each other to latch onto someone who regards them so warmly.

Let's cut to the chase, and i'm only feeling free to say this because you're asking about your appeal to women: The main reason you're not having much luck with women is because you're bloody frickin' weird. And there may not be anything you can or even should do about that, and hopefully you'll get lucky enough one day to find that one woman out there who finds your particular brand of weirdness endearing.

amen!

[emathias]

Originally Posted by Drover

I thought you bat from the other side of the plate... ?

I do, and I'm not obvious so I have to tell women that but since everyone in my life knows that and it's not something I spend a lot of time thinking about I a couple times I've forgetten that I'm not obvious and that not everyone knows I'm gay and end up thinking the invite is just a fun night out until I see the expectant look from the other side of the dinner table and think, "Crap, she planned this as a date." Depending on the woman what happens next, when I come clean, is either a hearty laugh or an annoyed, "Not another one" look of exasperation.

Originally Posted by NealIRC

Though I suspect that there are women who read this and find it nonsensical or fantastical.

If I were counter-arguing you, I'd be asking for particular examples and finding ways to disprove them.

And if I agreed with you, then I would simply say "the art of getting approached by women" is not something I discovered yet.

Stories on the internet aren't worth much.

The best way to get to know women is the same way you get to know anyone: you start conversations with them. If you go at a woman with intent, you can come across as desperate. So start striking up conversations with all sorts of women, especially women you have no intent of trying to date. Start with a question about something relevant to where you and her are, or what you and her are doing or what she is doing. Yes, it will almost certainly feel really, really awkward at first. But that's why you're starting with people you're not trying to date. Your goal isn't to go to bed with them or even to get a date, it's to learn what sort of conversations you can start that will be self-sustaining. If you'd never been surfing before you wouldn't just climbing a board and try to stand up on a wave. You'd trying standing in shallow water to get a feel for things, you'd paddle into the surf and just body-surf a little to get a feel for the waves. You'd learn to swim really well. THEN you'd combine all those things and try the trickier things, the cooler things, the real goal. But you have to do the practice stuff first. Making conversation with a stranger is part of that practice when it comes to learning how to attract women.

When you say things that kill a conversation, remember that and don't do it next time. When something works, try it next time. Eventually you'll be able to string together multiple things that work into real conversations and then you'll be ready to start striking up conversations with women you actually might want to date. Even when you get that point, do it just to try to talk at first - no goal, no trying for a number, just practicing to be comfortable talking. When you're comfortable doing that, then you can try asking for a number at the end of conversations - some girls will give you their number, some won't, but at least you'll have had a nice conversation.