How do you fire your nanny? (house, move, deal)

[alphabetmom]

We have a nanny that's been with us for 21 months. I'd like to fire her. My husband thinks I'm too hard on her. She cooks, half cleans and runs errands. But all in all I think she's gotten too comfortable and is too lazy for my taste.

My daughter, who is 21 months, is outgrowing her, and she never really bonded with my 7 year old son. Her assets - she speaks Spanish, so my daughter understands and speaks it as well; she cooks (although my husband doesn't like her cooking much); her work schedule is very flexible (including Sat. and Sun.). Her flaws - she breaks and ruins things without telling me; recently she ruined an $800 Caphalon pot set, never told me she did it and never apologized when I confronted her; she does things "her" way even if I tell her otherwise; she's not much of a cleaner or organizer, which drives me crazy; she and my daughter watch too much TV, even if it is Spanish TV.

It's time for her to go. I want to replace her, but out of respect for my husband I want to find a way to let her go "gently". Any thoughts?

[kshe95girl]

ummm, have the butler do it?
Seriously, just tell her, dont make a big production number out of it, dont outline her shortcomings, etc. Having been fired myself, I sooooo did not appreciate the fact that the one doing the firing bashed me, I just wanted to get out of there after the fatal words were spoken. I am sure your nanny will feel the same way.

[alphabetmom]

Thanks. I think that's a wise suggestion. Don't delay or make a big deal out of it. Something like, "...it's just not working out. Thanks for everything."

[Lookout Kid]

Go Donald Trump style...

Yo Fey-id!

[kshe95girl]

Originally Posted by alphabetmom

Thanks. I think that's a wise suggestion. Don't delay or make a big deal out of it. Something like, "...it's just not working out. Thanks for everything."

Hope it all goes well for you, and for her, I know that being on either end is not an easy thing, let us know how it goes.

[prairiestate]

Hmmmmmmmmmm

[KateL]

Maybe you should let her go gently out of respect to HER... just a thought.

[jessiegirl_98]

Have you tried talking to her? I would talk to her, put her on probation and see if she gets better. If not, then fire her. I think a warning would be nice, though. You will be amazed about how your kids will probably react when she leaves........
If you want to just fire her, then just be polite, say it's not working, give her a time frame, and then move on.

[esya]

After that long I would consider giving a termination pay of some sort. You don't want to tell her that her last day is tomorrow. Neither do you want to let her stay on after telling her. You might also want to post the job to see if she is really all that bad....we lost a good one and had a heck of a time finding a replacement when she left. Nobody is perfect when they are taking care of "your" home and "your" kids.

[Sailaway50]

Originally Posted by esya

After that long I would consider giving a termination pay of some sort. You don't want to tell her that her last day is tomorrow. Neither do you want to let her stay on after telling her. You might also want to post the job to see if she is really all that bad....we lost a good one and had a heck of a time finding a replacement when she left. Nobody is perfect when they are taking care of "your" home and "your" kids.

Totally true. I have had several. I don't want to stereotype, and do NOT mean to, but this is my experience. The "Hispanic" nannies/cleaning ladies I had were ALWAYS nice, loving, and caring toward my children....but not in the way that you feel your children are becoming "too" bonded to the nanny. I was extremely ill and had two children very young, was sick for 2 years, and my Hispanic nanny saved everything. YES, my house was.....a little trashed there......but I considered her loving ways and intuitive understand of the situation of great value.

I would definitely have a talk with her first, if you feel you can do that. Over time, I find most "nanny" situations improve....unless it's a horrible fit from the get go, or the person has a huge problem. My children still remember this nanny fondly. She cleaned when "she had time" (which we used to joke about), but her loving care toward my children was superb.

I had a couple of others, and many seem to have the same "faults" . The (can I say...) "anal" ones who cleaned like maniacs ignored my children. I don't think you'll f ind a Renaissance nanny easily......

HOWEVER: if you terminate her, I agree....keep it short, "I am so sorry but.....", no reasons given, and give her some termination pay. A must.
I even had one friend chicken out and tell the nanny, "well, I hate to do this, but it's my husband's idea." Kind of low, but it did save on the stress for both parties. Making it an economic issue saves hurt feelings. She did care for your children and yes, you would be surprised at the attachments formed on both sides.....