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Old 04-23-2021, 04:53 PM
 
Location: OC
9,016 posts, read 5,219,508 times
Reputation: 7156

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nashville_Native View Post
I know this is going to be an unpopular opinion given the love Chicago frequently gets on CD, but... I lived in Chicago (Evanston) from 2017-2019 and barely made any friends beyond my favorite co-worker. Besides the bartenders, who would frequently give out "freebies" to me, I found most people to be really unfriendly. If I was at a crowded bar, people would get hostile if you want to take the only open seat next to them. Also, lots of locals are frazzled by their drinking habits and would frequently "mistake" my car for an Uber late at night and try to enter my car, which was scary. These experiences were from nights out in "nice" neighborhoods such as Wicker Park, Lincoln Park, Uptown/Edgewater, etc...

I read once that the culture in the Midwest is to stick with "who you know" and forget the rest ("there's no room at our table" kind of mentality), especially if you are already from the Midwest, or went to a Big-10 school. In my case, I am a Southerner from Nashville, which is only 7 or so hours away, but I was completely a fish out of water. Wisconsin, Indiana, Michigan all embody the same vibe of Midwestern friendliness. I don't think you can say the same about Illinois. It's a big government culture and if you are an outsider, you are not embraced by the locals.

On the flipside, my new home of Los Angeles has been infinitely more friendly than Chicago. I'm really happy here with the nice people I've met. The "unfriendliness" that people often describe for LA is exactly what I experienced in Chicago specifically. Life is a subjective experience, I guess.
Thanks for sharing. People here in OC are polite, and friendly, but not really open if that makes sense. They keep to themselves.
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Old 04-23-2021, 05:12 PM
 
1,462 posts, read 412,047 times
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Amazing how people can have different experiences with the same cities. You can usually tell if there is some bitterness involved and politics too in comments. Every city is not for everyone and seems to work for them in life with on bad experience can change things.

At least LA region is getting some love for a change. Still leaving Nashville though.... seems odd to have others compare in friendliness....IMO. Still the more transplants a city has, the more it is a mixed bag of openess and a side that is more closed to new transplants. College towns add another dimension too.
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Old 04-24-2021, 04:19 AM
 
Location: Louisville, KY
45 posts, read 41,863 times
Reputation: 91
Every time I’ve been to Chicago, I’ve dealt with mostly friendly people but they’re not in your face about it and I prefer it that way. The in your face friendliness kinda bothers me and that is what you largely get down south(which is where I currently reside).

Though with Chicago being a major city and thus having a good size transplant population, it’s easier to make friends in Chicago than in mid sized and smaller cities in the Midwest and south. I currently live in Louisville, KY and it’s insanely hard to make friends here due to the cliquishness which is why I’m looking to move soon.
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Old 04-24-2021, 07:13 AM
wjj
 
821 posts, read 957,160 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryno25 View Post
Every time I’ve been to Chicago, I’ve dealt with mostly friendly people but they’re not in your face about it and I prefer it that way. The in your face friendliness kinda bothers me and that is what you largely get down south(which is where I currently reside).

Interesting observation. When we first bought our house in SW FL and started commuting back and forth, one thing I found odd, and even creepy at first, was that everyone, and I mean everyone in our community (young or old) would wave and/or say hi when you walk or drove past them. I was thinking, wow, they don't know who I am and I could be up to no good, but they still greet me. After a while, it dawned on me that is the way it used to be in Chicago when I was growing up (Norwood Park area), but is something we have now lost over the years. I like walking and on my walks I always greet oncoming people with a nod or a hi or a wave. Up here, maybe one out of four returns the greeting. The rest just walk by like I am some inanimate object. Down at our FL home, 10 out of 10 will return the greeting and most will beat me to it. Maybe some consider that to be in your face, but for me it hearkens back to a time when everyone was more polite and friendly.

Last edited by wjj; 04-24-2021 at 07:25 AM..
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Old 04-24-2021, 09:25 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
6,100 posts, read 2,964,391 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wjj View Post
Interesting observation. When we first bought our house in SW FL and started commuting back and forth, one thing I found odd, and even creepy at first, was that everyone, and I mean everyone in our community (young or old) would wave and/or say hi when you walk or drove past them. I was thinking, wow, they don't know who I am and I could be up to no good, but they still greet me. After a while, it dawned on me that is the way it used to be in Chicago when I was growing up (Norwood Park area), but is something we have now lost over the years. I like walking and on my walks I always greet oncoming people with a nod or a hi or a wave. Up here, maybe one out of four returns the greeting. The rest just walk by like I am some inanimate object. Down at our FL home, 10 out of 10 will return the greeting and most will beat me to it. Maybe some consider that to be in your face, but for me it hearkens back to a time when everyone was more polite and friendly.
I agree with this observation. As you already know, the phenomenon you're describing is a general changing of the times. I guess some places, like where you live in FL, you can still find the small town friendliness that used to be pervasive and ubiquitous almost everywhere; but for the most part, that no longer exists (at least not like it used to).

The suburb I grew up in on the east coast, all the neighbors used to know each other and they would know the kids. Neighbors would get together and talk frequently. With the transient nature, that no longer exists to the extent it used to. Now when I go back home if I'm walking or something and greet someone, most will not completely ignore it (I'm not sure I believe 3/4 people would ignore a greeting anywhere); but I would agree/believe that about only 1/4 will initiate a greeting or look me in the eyes to acknowledge me when walking. It's just a different world. People are a lot less trusting/neighborly no matter where you are IMO.

Although it seems like you found a nice community in FL where that still exists, which is great. I've heard from lots of people that FL is overall not a very friendly state, but I think there are so many variables that it's hard to make generalizations. It probably more-so depends on the specific community.
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Old 04-24-2021, 10:10 AM
 
Location: Rahway, NJ
5,940 posts, read 2,208,989 times
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In my experience?

Chicago is VERY friendly. Its a myth NYC/Boston are not friendly (They are, they are more look over your shoulder but dont double-cross me.. but I will help you if you need it).

Chicagoans are much more likely to strike up a conversation with you. Everyone just seems content and they love their life... moreso than places where Ive lived.

I enjoy people from Chicago moreso than I do LA, Miami, New York, DC, Boston, Raleigh and Charlotte.
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Old 04-24-2021, 10:13 AM
 
2,382 posts, read 1,198,352 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by personone View Post
I agree with this observation. As you already know, the phenomenon you're describing is a general changing of the times
People were rude 20 years ago, on both coasts of Florida; particularly during season when commute times doubled.
It's always been part of the territory in urban areas, no matter what city I visit.
All the nice people live in such places as Iowa and Kansas, where they still wave at strangers driving down the Pony Express(yes, this exists)highway.
However, I'm noticing behavior now I haven't seen before; generally self-entitled/judgemental behavior seems even more pervasive.
Do you have any thoughts as to why we are seeing these disturbing changes?.
As I'm at a loss.
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Old 04-26-2021, 07:12 PM
 
2,598 posts, read 1,585,180 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nashville_Native View Post
I know this is going to be an unpopular opinion given the love Chicago frequently gets on CD, but... I lived in Chicago (Evanston) from 2017-2019 and barely made any friends beyond my favorite co-worker. Besides the bartenders, who would frequently give out "freebies" to me, I found most people to be really unfriendly. If I was at a crowded bar, people would get hostile if you want to take the only open seat next to them. Also, lots of locals are frazzled by their drinking habits and would frequently "mistake" my car for an Uber late at night and try to enter my car, which was scary. These experiences were from nights out in "nice" neighborhoods such as Wicker Park, Lincoln Park, Uptown/Edgewater, etc...

I read once that the culture in the Midwest is to stick with "who you know" and forget the rest ("there's no room at our table" kind of mentality), especially if you are already from the Midwest, or went to a Big-10 school. In my case, I am a Southerner from Nashville, which is only 7 or so hours away, but I was completely a fish out of water. Wisconsin, Indiana, Michigan all embody the same vibe of Midwestern friendliness. I don't think you can say the same about Illinois. It's a big government culture and if you are an outsider, you are not embraced by the locals.

On the flipside, my new home of Los Angeles has been infinitely more friendly than Chicago. I'm really happy here with the nice people I've met. The "unfriendliness" that people often describe for LA is exactly what I experienced in Chicago specifically. Life is a subjective experience, I guess.
Chicago is a tale of two cities an a number of ways, and one of them is friendliness. The *real* Chicago friendliness is going to be found where the *real* Chicagoans are: the "locals" neighborhoods where people have spent their whole lives in, and whose family has generations of living in. These are blue collar neighborhoods in the city and suburbs, not the YUPpie neighborhoods you mentioned (where a lot of transplants live and there aren't that many Chicago natives).

What you mentioned makes sense in the downtown and northside of the city, but not all of Chicago, let alone Chicagoland and Illinois is like that. You gotta venture out of the touristy and transplant neighborhoods to witness it. I would say Chicago's local people are the friendliest I've met for a city the size of its size. You're going to get transplant jerks (especially at bars/clubs) in any big city you're in.

Last edited by CCrest182; 04-26-2021 at 07:25 PM..
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Old 04-26-2021, 09:45 PM
 
3,575 posts, read 1,361,719 times
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I think there's a floor on Chicago friendliness because it's a big city. People are under stress just to get through the day. You meet one on a bad day and they can be ugly to you. That happens in all big cities though. It's nothing like a small town in the upper midwest or New England, which are imo the places with the most social trust.

Chicago does well for a large city. I think the neighborhood layouts create a sense of community quite well despite the entire city being on a grid. I attribute it mostly to the residential pockets bordered by the commercial streets on the old section lines. It breaks up the city into community-size pieces.
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Old 04-27-2021, 04:40 PM
 
Location: Chicago
313 posts, read 443,550 times
Reputation: 323
Quote:
Originally Posted by CCrest182 View Post
Chicago is a tale of two cities an a number of ways, and one of them is friendliness. The *real* Chicago friendliness is going to be found where the *real* Chicagoans are: the "locals" neighborhoods where people have spent their whole lives in, and whose family has generations of living in. These are blue collar neighborhoods in the city and suburbs, not the YUPpie neighborhoods you mentioned (where a lot of transplants live and there aren't that many Chicago natives).

What you mentioned makes sense in the downtown and northside of the city, but not all of Chicago, let alone Chicagoland and Illinois is like that. You gotta venture out of the touristy and transplant neighborhoods to witness it. I would say Chicago's local people are the friendliest I've met for a city the size of its size. You're going to get transplant jerks (especially at bars/clubs) in any big city you're in.

From my experience as a transplant here I could divvy it up into 3 basic categories of friends that I met here (this does not count my undergraduate friends, who I did not meet here). Since I'm friends with all of them to me they're equally friendly:


--friends who transplanted here and settled here (small handful of people but very close with them)
--friends who transplanted here but everyone except me and a couple of others moved away (literally everyone in this friend group moved away for specific reasons ie getting into PhD programs or moving back home to start families). A LOT of people seem to want to come here and do the "big city thing" for a few years but then want to settle down elsewhere.

--friends who are "locals" (they're still locals)


A fair amount of friends from the second group ended up in Southern California -- both for career reasons and for returning-to-family reasons. Others ended up in Colorado, Ohio, etc.


I would say IMHO on the balance in comparison to SoCAL which is sooooo friendly (might be superficial, might be my personality), Chicago is polite and can be friendly, but in some groups there is a definite small town clique-ish mentality.


My preference is to stay here as I really like it a lot, it is centrally located, the day-to-day life necessities are extremely convenient for me, I like the cooler weather (I smile when its in the mid 50s in May), and the economics make sense. But even though I meet quite a few people I still have yet to find a boyfriend, which is a total bummer. Also if there are better career opportunities elsewhere, I may have to cross that bridge if/when it comes.
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