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Hanni, there's something I heard that resonated with me strongly. As someone who experienced some abuse as a child and the resulting deep sense of shame that comes with that, which never allowed me to think of myself with love or without criticism, anytime anyone would say that I needed to learn to love myself, it was like they were speaking an unknown language. I could never love myself or think of myself without criticism, or even imagine it as a possibility.
So, I offer this to you as encouragement, not correction ...
On learning to love yourself:
"Teaching you to like yourself is harder than teaching you to like almost anything else... So what you want to do is just feel around until you can just love that [other thing or person, or something about another person] and love that and love that... because connection with Source is about you focusing on things that don't block the flow of love. You don't have to focus it on you. In other words, you don't need to be loved, you just want to love.
So then, some day you'll sit here and say, "...I never really liked myself very much, but it didn't matter because there were so many other things I did like I could focus on. And then, one day, I practiced liking that and that and that and that and that so much, that suddenly I looked at myself and thought, 'Hmmm... not bad.'"
Dang. I don't want to be the person who "corrects". I want to be the person who encourages. To me, the things we ruminate on have a huge impact on us, so I would want to encourage you to find better things to think about the guy, or just stop thinking about him altogether, not for his sake, but for yours, 'cuz I love ya and I want you to have a joyful life, Hanni. I would want you to do the same for me, because heaven knows I'm just as prone to negative thinking as anyone, and I know from long, sad experience what that does to a person.
BUT, if me saying those kinds of things is having the opposite effect on you and is making you feel bad, then I'm not saying it well, and for that I sincerely am sorry.
I always compare myself with what you would do, that's a compliment.
Mmm, well in that case, what Pleroo would do is tell you that you don't need to compare yourself to anyone else, especially Pleroo.
Yeah right, I need an armband that says,'' WWPD?''
I really don't know what normal is, it's why I am a hermit. I am Bi-Polar, something clicks in my head and it could just be somebody chewing gum, and I go nuts, ESPECIALLY over somebody chewing gum. I can't eat with anyone lol. But yeah, I go into some kind of zone and all I see is blood, drool will be coming out of my mouth.
It never lasts very long and then I am always full of remorse but there aint nothing to be done about it.
Yeah right, I need an armband that says,'' WWPD?''
I really don't know what normal is, it's why I am a hermit. I am Bi-Polar, something clicks in my head and it could just be somebody chewing gum, and I go nuts, ESPECIALLY over somebody chewing gum. I can't eat with anyone lol. But yeah, I go into some kind of zone and all I see is blood, drool will be coming out of my mouth.
It never lasts very long and then I am always full of remorse but there aint nothing to be done about it.
Just not fit for society.
I really don't know much about Bipolar, and I don't want to say anything thoughtless in response to you.
Seems to me that being full of remorse for thoughts you don't have control over is similar to beating a dog for barking. When you are not in that blood-zone, it would be time better spent being kind to yourself rather than beating yourself up. In other words, when you're in a head space where you do have some control, perhaps practice thinking more constructive, positive thoughts. You have the wonderful ability to focus intently on a subject, I know, so perhaps you could just spend some of that focus on things that uplift you, and enjoy those moments for all they're worth.
My uneducated-and-potentially-worth-far-less-than .02.
Well, I remember reading somewhere that we do heal pretty quickly from the impact of smoking once we stop, so I held/hold onto that.
Congrats on quitting.
ETA: You too, Trout. Just saw your post.
I hope so, too. I know that anyone can get cancer, but it's not prevalent in my family. However, the guy who was doing the quit-smoking thing (it was a chiropractor who specializes in auricular therapy -- using acupuncture points on the ear for quitting smoking) said during his little pre-treatment pep talk that smoking causes heart disease far more than cancer. And heart disease DOES run in my family, on both sides. My mother has had a quad bypass, and my father died of a heart attack. So that got my attention.
Not to make anyone who has quit smoking worry, but my tongue cancer showed up 13 years after I quit. I gotta say I was a HEAVY smoker and the poison had actually turned the inside of my mouth white. I went cold turkey when my dentist told me I was killing myself. Just keep an extra awareness of possibilities open.
I smoked for 40 years, the last 35 of which I smoked a pipe. Quit 11 years ago (a year after a heart attack and stent insertion).
Fortunately, to date, no further dramatic repercussions from my years of living dangerously.
So, I celebrate with daily drinks and a few evening toots of herb.
Long term cannabis use increases the risk of lung cancer
"Cannabis smoking may have a greater potential than tobacco smoking to cause lung cancer. Cannabis smke is qualitatively similar to tobacco smoke, although it contains up to twice the concentration of the carcinogenic polyaromatic hydrocarbons. Cannabis is less densely packed than tobacco cigarettes, and tends to be smoked without filters to a smaller butt size, leading to higher concentrations of smoke inhaled.
"Furthermore, smokers of cannabis inhale more deeply and hold their breath for longer, facilitating the deposition of the carcinogenic products in the lower respiratory tract. These factors are likely to be responsible for the five-fold greater absorption of carbon monoxide from a cannabis joint, compared with a tobacco cigarette of similar size despite similar carbon monoxide concentrations in the smoke inhaled. Several studies have demonstrated pre-cancerous histological and molecular abnormalities in the respiratory tracts of cannabis smokers, and the carcinogenic effects of cannabis smoke have been demonstrated in vitro."
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. But I quit smoking cigarettes more than 25 years ago.
I want to be the person who encourages. To me, the things we ruminate on have a huge impact on us, so I would want to encourage you to find better things to think about the guy, or just stop thinking about him altogether, not for his sake, but for yours, 'cuz I love ya and I want you to have a joyful life, Hanni. I would want you to do the same for me, because heaven knows I'm just as prone to negative thinking as anyone, and I know from long, sad experience what that does to a person.
