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This is an honest question. Last weekend my wife lost her debit card and this morning we realized that our account was in negative territory with about $4000 gone. The mortgage is due in a few days. We looked at the on-line statement and saw that someone had burned the $4K on purchases at the mall on all kinds of things. We called the bank and they said they will reimburse the money in ten days and deal with the retailers. We did some research on our own and called the retail stores and got some information, and dots started to connect.
On Saturday my wife left her purse at her brother's place, and we noticed that the first purchase was made around the corner from their house at a gas station and the rest at the mall. One of the retailers said the purchase was made by a young woman whose appearance and accent fit someone we know. We talked to the brother and he said that his wife's son's (from previous marriage) girlfriend had visited later that day. The son then said he saw her trunk full of shopping bags. She is the thief.
We are torn about what to do. She stole the card, but we will get the money back from the bank, but the bank will make the retailers pay them, so they will lose the money. Would you report her to the police? We have known her for years and if we turn her in she will be in a lot of trouble. But if we don't report her, we'd be covering up a crime. Right?
Sorry about your loss Finn but you already know the answer to this dilemma.....you have to report her. She obviously has serious, serious problems that need to be dealt with. She will just do it again.
This is an honest question. Last weekend my wife lost her debit card and this morning we realized that our account was in negative territory with about $4000 gone. The mortgage is due in a few days. We looked at the on-line statement and saw that someone had burned the $4K on purchases at the mall on all kinds of things. We called the bank and they said they will reimburse the money in ten days and deal with the retailers. We did some research on our own and called the retail stores and got some information, and dots started to connect.
On Saturday my wife left her purse at her brother's place, and we noticed that the first purchase was made around the corner from their house at a gas station and the rest at the mall. One of the retailers said the purchase was made by a young woman whose appearance and accent fit someone we know. We talked to the brother and he said that his wife's son's (from previous marriage) girlfriend had visited later that day. The son then said he saw her trunk full of shopping bags. She is the thief.
We are torn about what to do. She stole the card, but we will get the money back from the bank, but the bank will make the retailers pay them, so they will lose the money. Would you report her to the police? We have known her for years and if we turn her in she will be in a lot of trouble. But if we don't report her, we'd be covering up a crime. Right?
Give her the opportunity to return everything, and repent. If not, turn her in and let the cards fall where they may. she has to know the have cameras in these stores, so it isn't like she is going to get away with it regardless, as when the store eats the money, THEY will investigate.
It could go from no charges being filed, in repentance,,to MANY stores filing SEPERATE charges and possible jail time.
Why should the consumers have to pay higher prices on goods because someone isn't honest? Or stores to take the loss. Either way, it is theft, but she should have the opportunity to make it right.
If she isn't willing, call the police. Then they will TAKE the goods back, and throw her in jail.
Sorry about your loss Finn but you already know the answer to this dilemma.....you have to report her. She obviously has serious, serious problems that need to be dealt with. She will just do it again.
We'll get our money back from the bank, but you are right. I think we need to report her. It is not fair that the store need to take a hit because we want to give her a break. And if she gets a break, she will not learn the lesson.
Give her the opportunity to return everything, and repent. If not, turn her in and let the cards fall where they may. she has to know the have cameras in these stores, so it isn't like she is going to get away with it regardless, as when the store eats the money, THEY will investigate.
It could go from no charges being filed, in repentance,,to MANY stores filing SEPERATE charges and possible jail time.
Why should the consumers have to pay higher prices on goods because someone isn't honest? Or stores to take the loss. Either way, it is theft, but she should have the opportunity to make it right.
If she isn't willing, call the police. Then they will TAKE the goods back, and throw her in jail.
IF she is definitely guilty and you have definite clear evidence, then I pretty much agree with HotinAZ.
Give her a chance to make things, right before she is put in the system.
Give her an opportunity. It may be the best thing that ever happened to her. (seriously.) And maybe it happened to YOU so you COULD give her that chance. (who knows?)
If she is willing to return the items/pay you back, then you call the credit card company and tell them you have figured out what has happened and they do not need to send you the money/contact the stores.
Now, again if you have definite evidence that it was her and she does NOT take you up on the offer to make things right, well... what else can you do?
Well that's just my opinion.
Hope everything turns out ok, Finn.
Take care,
sparrow
That is just awful. What an awful situation. And what a horrible position you and your wife are in. On one hand - if you don't report her, she might never learn her lesson. Things might escalate and she might wind up in more serious trouble later on. On the other hand - if she is repetant and agrees to return everything AND get counseling - perhaps that would suffice. In this type of situation, every solution feels right and wrong. I'm sorry that this happened to you and I hope that, regardless of what happens, that the girl gets the help she needs.
If she KNOWS you are a Christian, she may feel that nothing will happen to her. She has to have known she would be found out, and perhaps she is banking on your faith to 'turn the other cheek'.
So what you do, is going to directly reflect your faith in her eyes.
I would definately make her seek the repentance, and turn the goods in.
If she does, turn the other cheek, and perhaps you have won a soul for Christ.
If she doesn't, then honestly,,,I don't know.
It would take a tremendous amount of faith to simply turn the other cheek. That puts you in a difficult position with God, because even though you would get the money back, you also know who took it and getting it back isn't from WHO took it,,,so basically it would be like YOU STEALING it.
I was just pondering thoughts,,,so forgive me if I offended. Wow, what a test this is.
Once you're in the system, it's tough to "get out."
Maybe you are her last lifeline.
Sometimes people who do things like this, are LACKING in certain areas.
I'm not saying give her a free ride! Absolutely NOT! Just a CHANCE, a chance to make things right.
Well... it's your decision, Finn.
Follow your heart, bro.
peace,
sparrow
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