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If you married this girl because of your own desires for sex, than you probably married for the wrong reason.
Perhaps, the problem is mutual, take a closer look in the mirror. It's hard to know with only one side of the story.
I think this is more of a post to vent ...but any encouragement would be great. Before I married, i posted on here for advice, and a lot of it was to run the other way, well as you can see i didnt...My wife has some definate anger/depression/mental problems, and is currently trying to get treatment for it. She gets upset over no big deal at all...she has broken my computer by throwing it, said some horrible things to me...she can really be sweet and loving, but its almost as you dont know which way to catch her. I feel i am very good to her, and i feel unappreciated. I am trying to be strong for the both of us during this time. I am a Christian, and my pastor has been very good to us. She just always seems down in the dumps, depressed, she is ill often...and of course being newlyweds, and being that i waited to have sex when married, i would like to have sex, and a lot of times it is like pulling teeth, and she gives in or something which doesnt make me feel good...and then i get the "all you care about is having sex with me"...of course i would like sex, i mean we are newlyweds and i waited...its just starting to take its toll, and it has only been 3 months since we have been married..all i want is peace, and i want her to be easy going and happy, but i dont know if i see that in the near future. Any advice or thoughts?
Did you not know of these issues before hand? If so why did you go through with it? And this is yet another example of why abstaining from sex until married is a horrible idea. In any case, good luck. And most definitely get her into treatment. The longer she waits, the worse it will get, and it can get very, very bad to the point is shuts her down. She may resist, but do all you can to get her help, it may save her life.
I think this is more of a post to vent ...but any encouragement would be great. Before I married, i posted on here for advice, and a lot of it was to run the other way, well as you can see i didnt...My wife has some definate anger/depression/mental problems, and is currently trying to get treatment for it. She gets upset over no big deal at all...she has broken my computer by throwing it, said some horrible things to me...she can really be sweet and loving, but its almost as you dont know which way to catch her. I feel i am very good to her, and i feel unappreciated. I am trying to be strong for the both of us during this time. I am a Christian, and my pastor has been very good to us. She just always seems down in the dumps, depressed, she is ill often...and of course being newlyweds, and being that i waited to have sex when married, i would like to have sex, and a lot of times it is like pulling teeth, and she gives in or something which doesnt make me feel good...and then i get the "all you care about is having sex with me"...of course i would like sex, i mean we are newlyweds and i waited...its just starting to take its toll, and it has only been 3 months since we have been married..all i want is peace, and i want her to be easy going and happy, but i dont know if i see that in the near future. Any advice or thoughts?
You seem to focus upon your own sexual gratification the most as if you are owed that from her. You probably need to leave your wife so she can finally get away from you.
If you married this girl because of your own desires for sex, than you probably married for the wrong reason.
Perhaps, the problem is mutual, take a closer look in the mirror. It's hard to know with only one side of the story.
Did you read the part where she threw a computer across a room breaking it. She has some issues that require professional help.
I do not believe in this demon theory. A believer cannot be demon possessed. There are many forms of treatable mental disorders, and I would start at the church because they have experience of these things and they can recommend the right course of action, even refer a professional with licence to prescribe medication.
You seem to focus upon your own sexual gratification the most as if you are owed that from her. You probably need to leave your wife so she can finally get away from you.
Why would you say such a heartless and rotten thing, Phazelwood? A man wanting intimate, physical love with his wiffe- call it sex if you will- is completely normal and healthy. Her wanting NOT to- that is what is unhealthy and needs looking into. Him wanting to enjoy that is NOT the problem, and it isn't about anyone "owing" it to anyone, it's just something that is utterly and absolutely necessary if two people are going to be in a committed union that such as marriage- that is, if they are to be HAPPY. Sure, if both people are asexual and do not care for intimacy- that's one thing. But most people are red blooded and desire physical intimacy, and if one partner does not- well, therein lies the problem, and it's a completley valid one.
While I personally think it is a very bad idea for people to abstain from sex before committing, and this is the reason why, that is beside the point. Bottom line, Celtic, is that you and she need counseling, and while I know you mentioned being christian, perhaps you might investigate some non-secular counseling as well as secular in order that you gain as much perspective as possible, and so you are able to look at things from every angle possible and from a clinical standpoint.
It does sound like your wife has issues- whether they are mental or not- or if you and she are perhaps simply not suited for one another- that remains to be seen. I wish you the best and hope that you can figure things out to where you and she can lead the happiest lives you can, whether apart from one another or together. Best to you.
I think this is more of a post to vent ...but any encouragement would be great. Before I married, i posted on here for advice, and a lot of it was to run the other way, well as you can see i didnt...My wife has some definate anger/depression/mental problems, and is currently trying to get treatment for it. She gets upset over no big deal at all...she has broken my computer by throwing it, said some horrible things to me...she can really be sweet and loving, but its almost as you dont know which way to catch her. I feel i am very good to her, and i feel unappreciated. I am trying to be strong for the both of us during this time. I am a Christian, and my pastor has been very good to us. She just always seems down in the dumps, depressed, she is ill often...and of course being newlyweds, and being that i waited to have sex when married, i would like to have sex, and a lot of times it is like pulling teeth, and she gives in or something which doesnt make me feel good...and then i get the "all you care about is having sex with me"...of course i would like sex, i mean we are newlyweds and i waited...its just starting to take its toll, and it has only been 3 months since we have been married..all i want is peace, and i want her to be easy going and happy, but i dont know if i see that in the near future. Any advice or thoughts?
Hi CelticViking,
there are many people who are in your same situation, believe it or not!
I don't think your wife is demon-possessed, nor do I think she has a mental disorder.
The challenge for you might be no other than this: can you Love her and care for her and support and encourage her without sex?
This is what love is all about, and I believe that you have found a special woman who needs affection and love on a different level from you right now. Can you provide that? (someday you may need the same thing from her!)
The sex may then arrive sometime later down the road, and it will be more special and uniting than you see it right now.
Many blessings to you friend!
Brian
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