Quote:
Originally Posted by sun queen
I am struggling with Christianity in general -NOT my faith or belief in God or the Bible. However, God is love, but I don't see so much love among the people I know who say they are Christians. I see hatred, bitterness, intense dislike, intolerance, indifference and resentment. I make the quality decision every day to love... I practice it, but I got a long way to go... I have intense dislike and resentments toward some. And that is when I begin to wonder if maybe I am a backslider... too far away from God to be right even though I practice love and seek peace.
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sun queen, I would say to stop thinking of it as being "backslidden". You're not backslidden. You're on a journey and you can't get to point B unless you're coming from point A. Try not to care too much about other people's actions, it has NOTHING to do with the reality of God, it has to do with THEIR own personal journey. Remember they are ALSO on this journey. Where you see hatred, bitterness, intolerance, etc. just realize these things are not proof of ANYTHING ABOUT God, it is only proof that they are struggling to understand God as much as anyone else.
You said, (and I FULLY agree) that "God is Love". Spend your time meditating and pondering LOVE. Make that the bigger part of your path and peace has more of a chance to enter in. Compassion and patience with others (which leads to the diminishing of that intense dislike and resentment you have towards some) will start to take stronger root.
and "strugging with christianity"... ha! As well you SHOULD! There is MUCH to struggle with in the Christianity that has been espoused by mankind.
Go back to the basics:
GOD IS LOVE.
1 Corinth 13 - meditate on it. It's a description of God.
The folks you have intense dislike for... try to take Miss Blue's words and incorporate that into your heart: dislike the actions, not the person.
Think of the people you have resentment for, and think of them as when they were children. Innocent, sweet, kind, gentle, etc. before the darkness of the world started to wrap around them. That child is STILL THERE buried beneath the hard scales that have formed from this world.
Find that child within yourself and within others.
You have a beautiful heart... you are not "backslidden". Again, you can't get to point B (love) unless you've been at point A. The stuff in between is your journey. Focus on love during your journey, let LOVE (God) be your journey.
hope this makes sense,
peace to you friend,
sparrow
p.s. Just wanted to add that whatever you overcome... you will be able to have more compassion and sympathy and help someone ELSE overcome these things as well. We're all in this together. AT some point in your future you may find you have overcome your resentment and love has filled the void. And you will stumble upon another traveler who is struggling with those issues you once had yourself. When our weaknesses have been turned into strengths... it is a joyous, and wondrous thing. God can turn anything around and make it something better. He turns our mourning into laughter. I've experienced that on more than one occasion. We not only mourn over death, but over weaknesses in our lives. Keep walking friend, lots of good things on the path ahead. Just keep focusing on love.
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