Post Your Sunday Funnies here (paradise, church, prayer, Bible)

[Miss Blue]

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.
"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk
"Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.

Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord,"
and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter.
Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."

[katjonjj]

A healing Pastor came to a church. There was a long line to see him. It was a little boys turn in line and he said it was his hearing.

So, the healing Pastor grabbed his ears and said a prayer.

The Pastor let go and asked, "hows your hearing now''.

"I don't know.. it's not till Friday," replied the boy.
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Adam was talking to God one day, and asked, "why did you make Eve so pretty?"

God replied, "So you would love her".

Adam then asked, "why did you make her such a good cook?".

God replied, "So that you would love her".

Adam asked, "Why does she have such a heavenly smile?".

God said "So you would love her".

Finally, Adam asked "Why did you make her so dumb?"

God replied, "So that she would love you!".

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A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck,
and everyone inside dies.

They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they
have experienced; he decides to grant them one wish each, before
they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I
want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line,
the last guy in line starts laughing.

When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor,
laughing his head off.

Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says......

"Make 'em all ugly again"