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That when they're sleeping with someone, whether they be married or unmarried, they're giving a very deep part of themselves.
From what I observed in the relationship forum, some people do some don't.
But I believe that that subconscious feeling is God speaking to them telling them that is is more than a physical act. It is an emotional and spiritual act that must only be done within marriage. The reason I say this is because I've seen threads where people try to convince others that having relations before marriage is fine (I disagree completely) and yet when break-ups happen, they seem to find it difficult to trust any future partners again.
I know it seems like this shouldve been posted in the relationship forum, but I think this is more of a spiritual matter. What do you guys think?
Another thing I find interesting is that those people on the relationship forum seem to get defensive when someone mentions that they don't believe that the "live together" lifestyle doesn't work. By the "live together" lifestyle, I mean unmarried couples living together. I posted a thread about that and I got flamed for it. On one hand, I should have reworded it, but on the other hand, the reactions that I got tell me that maybe deep inside they know they shouldn't be living with that person but they don't want to be called on it. And when things go wrong, they ask on what to do. Don't get me wrong, divorce from a marriage isn't really right either (unless in cases of infidelity and any kind of abuse), but still. I don't like either of them.
Another thing I find interesting is that those people on the relationship forum seem to get defensive when someone mentions that they don't believe that the "live together" lifestyle doesn't work. By the "live together" lifestyle, I mean unmarried couples living together. I posted a thread about that and I got flamed for it. On one hand, I should have reworded it, but on the other hand, the reactions that I got tell me that maybe deep inside they know they shouldn't be living with that person but they don't want to be called on it. And when things go wrong, they ask on what to do. Don't get me wrong, divorce from a marriage isn't really right either (unless in cases of infidelity and any kind of abuse), but still. I don't like either of them.
You didn't get "flamed" for your beliefs - you got "flamed" for the way you approached it. You can't point your fingers at people and tell them them that they are wrong and you are right - and not expect people to disagree with you. I mean - I guess you can, but you will be wrong!
As far as living with someone before marriage - I understand that many religious people see this as a sin. However, I lived with my husband before we got married. It didn't feel wrong. On the contrary. It felt so right that we knew that we would be spending the rest of our lives together. Most of my friends lived with people before they got married. Some of them married the first people they lived with, some people didn't. Most of my friends are all happily married now and have no regrets about the paths their lives have taken. I feel the same way about my own life. All the decisions I have made have led me to where I am today - and I couldn't be happier!
If you believe it is wrong to live with someone or sleep with someone before marriage - that is your decision to make. I would never tell someone that they are wrong for making that choice. I also would never tell someone that they are wrong for making a different choice. I believe that we should all make the decisions that are right for us. Luckily, we live in a free world where we are all free to make these kind of decisions for ourselves. I shudder to think of living in a world where we all had to live life the exact same way.
This IS the Christianity board, so CMP is stating biblical lessons that are taught, and we as Christians believe, although not all Christians adhere to this. So her point of living together before marriage, or any sexual activity w/o the benefit of marriage, fits in this forum. The Relationship forum is open to people of all beliefs, non-beliefs, and opinions, I would expect all types and ranges of comments and emotions to be posted there.
To answer CMP's question, I think people who have had any religious teachings in their past know subconscienciously that sleeping with someone IS a special act that SHOULD be reserved for that special person within the vows of marriage, however, Christians are human too, and we are, and will forever be, sinners until we pass from this life. Most of us will always be like any human in any loving relationship, whether married to the person or not.
This IS the Christianity board, so CMP is stating biblical lessons that are taught, and we as Christians believe, although not all Christians adhere to this. So her point of living together before marriage, or any sexual activity w/o the benefit of marriage, fits in this forum. The Relationship forum is open to people of all beliefs, non-beliefs, and opinions, I would expect all types and ranges of comments and emotions to be posted there.
I'm not sure if this was directed at me - but I never questioned whether or not her post belonged in this forum. And like I said, I understand that some religious people belive it is wrong to live with someone before marriage. However - she is starting a thread basically saying that all the people on the relationship forum somehow ganged up on her for her beliefs. Well, this would be completely inaccurate. People were unhappy with her for her attitude and the way she worded things. It had little to do with her beliefs and everything to do with how she came across.
CancerianMoonRrincess... in answer to your question...no...I do not think that subconciously or conciously people would know that they were giving a big part of themselves just because they're sleeping with someone...For some people it IS a big deal but for many others it's a normal part of everyday life....and not a big deal at all.....also......your beliefs in "saving" yourself untill after marriage is your own personal desician...no "flames", just as I don't think anyone would "flame" me for thinking differently than you about sleeping with a partner before marriage.and for THAT...I have no regrets, as deep down inside(as you put it) I KNEW that for me it was the RIGHT thing to do....you can call me on it!!!
CancerianMoonRrincess... in answer to your question...no...I do not think that subconciously or conciously people would know that they were giving a big part of themselves just because they're sleeping with someone...For some people it IS a big deal but for many others it's a normal part of everyday life....and not a big deal at all.....also......your beliefs in "saving" yourself untill after marriage is your own personal desician...no "flames", just as I don't think anyone would "flame" me for thinking differently than you about sleeping with a partner before marriage.and for THAT...I have no regrets, as deep down inside(as you put it) I KNEW that for me it was the RIGHT thing to do....you can call me on it!!!
It was just a simple question. I just found it interesting that on one thread in the relationship forum that people were flaming the OP (not my thread it's the guy who met a new girl after dating someone else for 2 years) becuase they had taken 2 years out of her love life by living together with her and sleeping with her while not letting her know early on that he met someone else. I read one comment that was asking what kind of effect that could have on the ex gf, and they listed things that made me think that maybe subconsciously, they are giving a deep part of themselves. And most of those people who called him out on it shared your views on living together before marriage And may have possibly done so themselves. they were not calling him out on not being traditional but on just how heartbroken his ex gf would be. I wasn't calling anyone out on anything. And I apologize if I came across that way again.
Last edited by CancerianMoonPrincess; 06-13-2011 at 07:28 PM..
... they listed things that made me think that maybe subconsciously, they are giving a deep part of themselves.
Of course people in relationships are very much aware that they are sharing the deepest part of themselves with another person. That is what true intimacy is. & this is why we enjoy it so much!
It can be a very spiritually moving experience, Christian or not.
It is the companionship of another person that we ultimately desire; male, female, gay, or straight...
At your young age, you're smart to keep that part of yourself sacred until whatever moment shall find you ready to give & recieve. It is very admirable.
But I don't think you will fully be able to understand the complexity involved in romantic relationships until you have experienced it firsthand.
Your threads about relationships are mostly hypothetical and idealistic, and often times come across as judgemental and intolerant of others' life choices and/or "mistakes" since at your young age, you have not yet made any for yourself yet, in that regard.
This is why people "flame" you. You just need a few years of life under your belt before anyone will take you seriously.
It's not your fault though. No worries!
You didn't come across in any way, but that of a very thoughtful, and interesting young woman
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