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I don't mean to interrupt, but I think it's more of a "love" vs "lust" issue. Am I expressing my love and becoming one flesh with my spouse? Or simply gratifying my selfish "needs"?
Can't you be doing both at the same time? God created us with these "needs", obviously knowing we would need to gratify them.
Can't you be doing both at the same time? God created us with these "needs", obviously knowing we would need to gratify them.
You're right jeff, you can be doing both at the same time... However if I am only satisfying my "needs" or drive, with no love, it's probably lust. Love will consider the needs of the other person and not degrade them.
Song of Solomon-This book is a divine allegory which represents the love between Christ and His Church of true believers.The bride ,the church,speaks to the bridegroom and to the daughters of Jerusalem.Christ,the bridegroom ,speaks in answer to the complaints and requests of his spouse.The church expresses the great value she has for Christ.Christ commends the church's beauty.The church returns the commendations
Those whose souls love Jesus Christ,sincerely desire to share in the Kingdom.The church is here to promotes God's glory.
This question is for those who have studied, and seriously meditated on, the book Song of Soloman. My question is: In a marriage btwn one man and one woman, isn't any sexual behavior free game if you and your spouse agree to it and it doesn't get either of you thrown in jail?
You're right jeff, you can be doing both at the same time... However if I am only satisfying my "needs" or drive, with no love, it's probably lust. Love will consider the needs of the other person and not degrade them.
Ah, I see what you mean...I can honestly say that I'm not guilty! I've never had...um..."congress" (LOL!) with my wife that wasn't expressing my love for her. I think she would know and would be hurt if it were otherwise.
But here's a question...do you think it is okay to lust after your spouse? Although lust CAN mean a negative, self-fulfilling desire, the basic definition is "intense sexual desire". While we should obviously always have balance in everything, isn't it a good, healthy sign if you are "lusting" after your spouse? The physical desire will be there regardless, and the stonger the better I would say!
Ah, I see what you mean...I can honestly say that I'm not guilty! I've never had...um..."congress" (LOL!) with my wife that wasn't expressing my love for her. I think she would know and would be hurt if it were otherwise.
But here's a question...do you think it is okay to lust after your spouse? Although lust CAN mean a negative, self-fulfilling desire, the basic definition is "intense sexual desire". While we should obviously always have balance in everything, isn't it a good, healthy sign if you are "lusting" after your spouse? The physical desire will be there regardless, and the stonger the better I would say!
I would have to agree. I think there has to be at least a certain amount of lust in order to keep the fires burning. That's not saying that a relationship should be built on lust, but I would think if one LOVES someone, there is also a certain amount of lust that goes with it...that is until you've been married far too many years and the fire has went out.
But here's a question...do you think it is okay to lust after your spouse? Although lust CAN mean a negative, self-fulfilling desire, the basic definition is "intense sexual desire". While we should obviously always have balance in everything, isn't it a good, healthy sign if you are "lusting" after your spouse? The physical desire will be there regardless, and the stonger the better I would say!
Quote:
Originally Posted by kawgpz550
I would have to agree. I think there has to be at least a certain amount of lust in order to keep the fires burning. That's not saying that a relationship should be built on lust, but I would think if one LOVES someone, there is also a certain amount of lust that goes with it...that is until you've been married far too many years and the fire has went out.
I can't think of any verses in which the word "lust" is used in a favorable way. In every instance it is described in the Bible as something sinful and we are told in the NT ( Col 3:5, 1Peter 4:3) to rid ourselves of it.
My Webster's defines "lust" as: Sensuous desire; bodily appetite; commonly, sexual desire as a degrading passion. To have an eager and, Esp., an inordinate or sinful desire.
When I have sex with my spouse, I see her as a whole and complete person, who has thoughts and feelings that are equally as important as mine. I do my best to see that I fulfill her needs as well as my own. When we make love, we are joined together; mind, body, and spirit.
When I look at her in lust, I see her only as a "sex toy", something to be used to gratify my own sexual desires. In so doing, I dehumanize her and make her no better than a prostitute. When those thoughts arise, and I admit that they sometimes do, then I make a conscious decision to NOT act upon them. Acting on them would be disrespectful to my partner and destructive to our relationship.
Admit it my fellow christians/believers. Lust was probably the first thing that made you want to get to know your spouse in the first place Lust is most likely why most of us got married so young, to keep us from "acting" on the lust...IMO, it is the actual "doing" that is the sin, because you have more control over your physical actions than you do your thoughts
Intimacy is important to a healthy relationship, and many Christians are timid when discussing physical intimacy even though we have the book, Song of Solomon (also known as Song of Songs). Allow for open-mindedness and offer your thoughts.
God is consistent in all things. His purpose for us has always been, and will always be to build relationships... with Him, and with other people. Jesus consistently reaffirms this throughout the NT. The Song of Solomon is no different, and holds fast to God's plan.
Physical intimacy is but one of many conduits for marriage relationships to build bridges, and thereby bringing us closer to Him. I agree that intimacy is an essential component for healthy relationships, but healthy intimate relationships = the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman, and nothing else. Inside this unique bond only God, husband, and wife share what is the gift of sex... and we (husband and wife) are equally responsible for the protection of privacy inside that relationship. I see nowhere in the NT where any "open" discussion takes place regarding intimate physical relationships.
However.... and more importantly, is understanding our God assigned roles and expectations to nurture relationships... all relationships. Christ states very clearly He has come to "perfect" the law, and the perfection of all that has been given to us within the law...so... What is the "greater message"? or the perfection of the message? Jesus tells us....To love our God with all our hearts and all our souls and to love our neighbor as ourself. This is the filter mechanism for love, and thereby the same for the Songs.
Honoring the intimacy of the marriage covenant is not being timid, it's being respectful. For those that are not married, and wish to be, understanding our roles as it relates to edification (love and respect)of our future spouse(s) should be the goal. The Songs are tools... not a open forum for evaluating our intimate relationships.
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God created us with these "needs", obviously knowing we would need to gratify them.
I think she would know and would be hurt if it were otherwise.
Lust is most likely why most of us got married so young, to keep us from "acting" on the lust...IMO, it is the actual "doing" that is the sin, because you have more control over your physical actions than you do your thoughts
Roles and expectations...
