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that is until you've been married far too many years and the fire has went out.
Could it be agreed upon that obedience at this particular time is important in the sense that the Bible encourages us to not withold our bodies from our spouse for extended periods of time b/c our bodies also belong to our spouse? In lay terms, if (s)he's ready to go, by all means we must eventually oblige regardless of the presence of ashy coals that were once roaring flames.
Christian ostrich. Don't be the one w/ your head in the sand just b/c it's delicate issue
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave_n_Tenn
God is consistent in all things. His purpose for us has always been, and will always be to build relationships... with Him, and with other people. Jesus consistently reaffirms this throughout the NT. The Song of Solomon is no different, and holds fast to God's plan.
Physical intimacy is but one of many conduits for marriage relationships to build bridges, and thereby bringing us closer to Him. I agree that intimacy is an essential component for healthy relationships, but healthy intimate relationships = the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman, and nothing else. Inside this unique bond only God, husband, and wife share what is the gift of sex... and we (husband and wife) are equally responsible for the protection of privacy inside that relationship. I see nowhere in the NT where any "open" discussion takes place regarding intimate physical relationships.
However.... and more importantly, is understanding our God assigned roles and expectations to nurture relationships... all relationships. Christ states very clearly He has come to "perfect" the law, and the perfection of all that has been given to us within the law...so... What is the "greater message"? or the perfection of the message? Jesus tells us....To love our God with all our hearts and all our souls and to love our neighbor as ourself. This is the filter mechanism for love, and thereby the same for the Songs.
Honoring the intimacy of the marriage covenant is not being timid, it's being respectful. For those that are not married, and wish to be, understanding our roles as it relates to edification (love and respect)of our future spouse(s) should be the goal. The Songs are tools... not a open forum for evaluating our intimate relationships.
Dave,
I agree with much of what you've said. I'm just a little cautious of the last sentence. The SOS is an open forum by the simple virtue that it exists in book form. God wants us to know what's in it b/c Christians do not grow into Christ in isolation. Iron is instructed to sharpen iron. An example is the knowledge-seeking Ethiopian reading the book of Isaiah and Philip asking him, "do you understands what you are reading? (Acts 8:26)
Iron sharpening Iron does not allow two (or more) men to speak to each other about their intimacy with their wives. This is wrong, and is not God honoring, in regard to the covenant of marriage. With the Songs as a template of evaluation... Iron sharpening Iron does require two men to check their roles as husbands, but not the intimate details... and besides you never "kiss and tell"... that's just common sense.
Now... if their is a "problem" regarding intimacy, you will discover most problems have very little to do with the physical act... it has to do with the most inmportant organ regarding sex... your brain. Fix that ... fix the problem. Not always... but often.
I suggest you re-read some of the responses from the ladies ... and the picture will be come clearer. I will always honor my wife's expectations regarding intimacy... after all, it's her I come home to.
Iron sharpening Iron does not allow two (or more) men to speak to each other about their intimacy with their wives. This is wrong, and is not God honoring, in regard to the covenant of marriage. With the Songs as a template of evaluation... Iron sharpening Iron does require two men to check their roles as husbands, but not the intimate details... and besides you never "kiss and tell"... that's just common sense.
Now... if their is a "problem" regarding intimacy, you will discover most problems have very little to do with the physical act... it has to do with the most inmportant organ regarding sex... your brain. Fix that ... fix the problem. Not always... but often.
I suggest you re-read some of the responses from the ladies ... and the picture will be come clearer. I will always honor my wife's expectations regarding intimacy... after all, it's her I come home to.
I agree that the details between a husband and wife should stay between the husband and wife. My previous posts were talking about teaching on the general topic and a healthy view of sex...not gossiping about our own personal love life. That is wrong in my book and can lead to even more problems!
Iron sharpening Iron does not allow two (or more) men to speak to each other about their intimacy with their wives. This is wrong, and is not God honoring, in regard to the covenant of marriage. With the Songs as a template of evaluation... Iron sharpening Iron does require two men to check their roles as husbands, but not the intimate details... and besides you never "kiss and tell"... that's just common sense.
Now... if their is a "problem" regarding intimacy, you will discover most problems have very little to do with the physical act... it has to do with the most inmportant organ regarding sex... your brain. Fix that ... fix the problem. Not always... but often.
I suggest you re-read some of the responses from the ladies ... and the picture will be come clearer. I will always honor my wife's expectations regarding intimacy... after all, it's her I come home to.
The first time many studied the SOS for the first time, who was it that explained its contents, how to interpret it, and how to apply it? Was it one's spouse in most cases? I would surmise not. It was quite likely that it was another brother/sister in the body. That's the point I'm making. To be even clearer, no, most people do not want to "know" your spouse in the way you "know" your spouse as suggestions were made in your previous posts. Thank you for honoring your spouse.
quote: Song of Solomon
Intimacy is important to a healthy relationship, and many Christians are timid when discussing physical intimacy even though we have the book, Song of Soloman (also known as Song of Songs). Allow for open-mindedness and offer your thoughts.
I think it's wonderful that Soloman uses fruits, aromas, seasons, animals, and all sorts of things beautiful in nature to define love. this book shows us how lovers find the power of love everywhere they look, and nothing in this world can hinder the passion of love, but only be fuel for it.
this book eases into love and gracefully accelerates into adoration, fondness, and mashes tender heat with tasteful and rapturing worship.
this book is not for adults only, but for those who really wanna know what HOLYMATRIMONY is.
i remember my mom talking to us a lot about sex, drugs, etc when we were kids. she told us that she didn't want us to have the same problems she did as a kid. her parents kept their mouths quiet about those topics, sex in particular, cuz they were embarrased, or didn't know how to answer, or whatever. so she found all of her answers as a kid from her friends and their environment. not too pleasant a way to discover the world.
so, while i remember squirming and getting red-faced, rolling my eyes a lot and stuff, i am greatful that my parents sat us down and made us face the hard issues. it made my growing up a lot easier.
i think that it is our responsibility as parents in particular, to make sure that these issues are given the respect and time that they deserve.
sex is cool (understatement of the year). it is great. but it is even better when used correctly, with the intention that God had for us when He gave the power to us.
I'm really not sure what the OP is seeking. A manualized authoritative spiritual exegesis of right and wrong? Christian porn expose' - peeping into other's lives? There can be a time for a forum such as this, but respondents will be silent. Even in a room of anonymity, the OP's points and desires are vague.
G-d gave us sex as a wholesome, shared exercise between committed partners. There will be power in it (two people cannot get off by being passive participants). There will be shared responsibilities. It works best w/o humiliation, degradation, and one-sidedness, but it requires focused attention. Good intimacy cannot survive without openness, honesty, and diligent work. Physical, sexual intercourse is the icing on the cake. However, if you don't have a good cake, the icing can't make it any better.
When sex becomes public, it can easily turn to voyeurism. I believe Christians should talk about it too, but personal, intimate issues are best addressed with a therapist or minister. Another person here stated if there is something sexually wrong, it can usually be traced back to a communication issue or other derailment in the relationship. SOS is a great book, but certainly not a Christian Kama Sutra. Like love, if that's the surface message we get out of that book, we're really a pretty shallow bunch.
If the OP can ask specifically what is being sought, that may be answered. Otherwise this is vanity, chasing after wind.
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Christian ostrich. Don't be the one w/ your head in the sand just b/c it's delicate issue
... after all, it's her I come home to.
