Staying at your own church vs. going to the church of your SO (crucified, Lutheran)
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A little bit of background - I was raised Lutheran. As a college student, I went to a particular LCMS church and got very involved in things there. I moved away for a while, and when I moved back, I resumed going to that church, where I joined choir and am involved in Bible studies for people my age (20s-30s.) I've also made a lot of friends there, and I like it there in general. It's a bit traditional, but they do have some contemporary elements.
I met my girlfriend nearly a year ago now. She was raised Catholic, but in college, became involved with more of the contemporary style (generally either Assemblies of God or Non-denominational) and switched to that. In her faith journey, she goes to churches with contemporary services that follow I guess what we'd think of as a typical "evangelical Christian" doctrines. Sometimes it's a megachurch, or sometimes it's a smaller one. This is where she wants to be.
The problem is - I'd really like to go to church with my girlfriend, especially considering the direction that both of us think we're headed. But this means I'd have to switch denominations, and I'm not sure I feel comfortable doing that. Obviously some of it is for social reasons, but I also don't agree with the Assemblies of God's stance on baptism, for example. So what should I do? Has anybody else had a similar situation?
The most important thing is that we're both Christian and both share the same values. But on the one hand, it feels wrong not to completely support my girlfriend, and on the other, it feels wrong to abandon what I've been a part of for so long just to go to church with my girlfriend.
If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, he is conceited and understands nothing.
So what did Jesus teach:
“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves."
Assemblies of God do not teach according to what Jesus taught.
A o G teach that faith is a condition of salvation (decision theology)
Jesus teaches that people by nature are dead in their transgressions and sin and therefore have no ability to decide of Christ (Ephesians 2:1,5). We do not choose Christ, rather he chose us (John 15:16).
A o G does not believe that the sacraments are means of grace through which the Holy Spirit works to create or strengthen faith. They deny the real presence in the Lord's Supper. They insist that the only legitimate way to perform Baptism is by immersion.
Many of the non-denominational church pastors are soft when it comes to theology whereas your LCMS pastors have a strong thelogical background training. It should feel "wrong" to compromise accuracy over popularity because Jesus taught one must choose between him vs things of this world.. which may includes friends.
Romans 16:17
I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them.
A little bit of background - I was raised Lutheran. As a college student, I went to a particular LCMS church and got very involved in things there. I moved away for a while, and when I moved back, I resumed going to that church, where I joined choir and am involved in Bible studies for people my age (20s-30s.) I've also made a lot of friends there, and I like it there in general. It's a bit traditional, but they do have some contemporary elements.
I met my girlfriend nearly a year ago now. She was raised Catholic, but in college, became involved with more of the contemporary style (generally either Assemblies of God or Non-denominational) and switched to that. In her faith journey, she goes to churches with contemporary services that follow I guess what we'd think of as a typical "evangelical Christian" doctrines. Sometimes it's a megachurch, or sometimes it's a smaller one. This is where she wants to be.
The problem is - I'd really like to go to church with my girlfriend, especially considering the direction that both of us think we're headed. But this means I'd have to switch denominations, and I'm not sure I feel comfortable doing that. Obviously some of it is for social reasons, but I also don't agree with the Assemblies of God's stance on baptism, for example. So what should I do? Has anybody else had a similar situation?
The most important thing is that we're both Christian and both share the same values. But on the one hand, it feels wrong not to completely support my girlfriend, and on the other, it feels wrong to abandon what I've been a part of for so long just to go to church with my girlfriend.
Thoughts?
It's my opinion that a married couple should worship together for their spiritual health and for the health of their marriage.
You are wise to be thinking this through now while you are still just dating.
I would suggest lots of conversation between the two of you, and perhaps even a meeting with your pastor.
You need to come up with some kind of compromise or arrangement that you can both live with and respect with a clear conscience.
If you CAN'T do that, then you need to break things off and look for other people in your own faith to date.
Last edited by lovesMountains; 08-09-2012 at 01:32 PM..
Reason: spelling
At the end, you are the head of your household. You should be the person teaching your family. You need to study and teach your wife. do not depend on a denomination to teach you anything. I know it can be difficult to cut ties with friends and with your upbringing, but if you really want to follow Christ, there is no denomination that will really teach you how to do that.
This is not really an issue of true/false doctrine or what is right/wrong or even of unequal yoking. It IS an excellent opportunity for the two of you to test your ability to work-out an issue where you have different approaches to something that is important to each of you.
Marriage is full of these 'opportunities', because folks often fail to deal openly with them before getting married. In many cases, that produces what the world calls 'irreconcilable differences', but, God's Word calls 'unequal yoking.' Now, before you move further toward marriage, is the best time to deal seriously with finances, religious practices, child-rearing, career plans, family commitments ... and a hundred other things (that really DO matter!). You will be glad you did!
Actually, my wife was raised Methodist and my background was Baptist. We tried separate churches for a while, but, with the kids, I felt like it was more important for us to attend church together, than cling to a denomination. I wound-up leading serious Bible studies in the Methodist church for many years!
It's my opinion that a married couple should worship together for their spiritual health and for the health of their marriage.
You are wise to be thinking this through now while you are still just dating.
I would suggest lots of conversation between the two of you, and perhaps even a meeting with your pastor.
You need to come up with some kind of compromise or arrangement that you can both live with and respect with a clear conscience.
If you CAN'T do that, then you need to break things off and look for other people in your own faith to date.
My grandparents went to different churches for about 55 years. Their marriage was just fine. Each couple that is faced with a serious issue like this needs a solution that works for them, not necessarily what works for other people.
At the end, you are the head of your household. You should be the person teaching your family. You need to study and teach your wife. do not depend on a denomination to teach you anything. I know it can be difficult to cut ties with friends and with your upbringing, but if you really want to follow Christ, there is no denomination that will really teach you how to do that.
If grandpa had done that, grandma would probably have set his mind straight with a frying pan to the side of the head.
...if you really want to follow Christ, there is no denomination that will really teach you how to do that.
Exactly.
And the first post reminds me of these verses in 1 Corinthians:
For it hath been declared unto me of you, my brethren, by them which are of the house of Chloe, that there are contentions among you.
Now this I say, that every one of you saith, I am of Paul; and I of Apollos; and I of Cephas; and I of Christ. Is Christ divided? was Paul crucified for you? or were ye baptized in the name of Paul?
When the people ask me which church or denomination I am of. I will simply say: I follow Christ.
And to study the scriptures carefully.
The thing about following Christ is to do the work for him, helping the poor or the needy, teaching about Jesus and so on.
A little bit of background - I was raised Lutheran. As a college student, I went to a particular LCMS church and got very involved in things there. I moved away for a while, and when I moved back, I resumed going to that church, where I joined choir and am involved in Bible studies for people my age (20s-30s.) I've also made a lot of friends there, and I like it there in general. It's a bit traditional, but they do have some contemporary elements.
I met my girlfriend nearly a year ago now. She was raised Catholic, but in college, became involved with more of the contemporary style (generally either Assemblies of God or Non-denominational) and switched to that. In her faith journey, she goes to churches with contemporary services that follow I guess what we'd think of as a typical "evangelical Christian" doctrines. Sometimes it's a megachurch, or sometimes it's a smaller one. This is where she wants to be.
The problem is - I'd really like to go to church with my girlfriend, especially considering the direction that both of us think we're headed. But this means I'd have to switch denominations, and I'm not sure I feel comfortable doing that. Obviously some of it is for social reasons, but I also don't agree with the Assemblies of God's stance on baptism, for example. So what should I do? Has anybody else had a similar situation?
The most important thing is that we're both Christian and both share the same values. But on the one hand, it feels wrong not to completely support my girlfriend, and on the other, it feels wrong to abandon what I've been a part of for so long just to go to church with my girlfriend.
Thoughts?
Why would you have to switch denominations? Sneakers was raised Lutheran and continues to be active and I was raised Catholic and I am active as well. We go to both churches together. One week we go to Lutheran and the next we go to Catholic. No biggie, I enjoy the ease and comfort level of the Lutheran service and he is very comfortable at the Catholic church.
So why don't you and your girlfriend do this? If she does not want to join you no big deal either. My Brother In Law and his wife have separate denominations and he usually goes to his church and she goes to hers then they have a Lunch Date after church service each week and spend a couple hours alone and enjoying each others company. It is a special time for them after a very hectic week of real life, real jobs, real kids and all the day to day things that need to be accomplished.
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