Temptation for the Christian...what would YOU do? (woman, churches, believe)
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You are a Christian...you are married to a husband/wife who is nasty/alcoholic/waster/spiteful......you don't love your husband or wife anymore. You can cope with that...trusting God for his love. Then WHAM you fall in love with someone AT YOUR CHURCH! You never ever flirted iwth this person, you in fact didn't really talk much to this person...but you have been going to the same church for 3 years or more and have worked alongside them.
Its totally unexpected!!! Like Cupids Arrow...you feel something happening to that person also. Like Chemistry....you suddenly cannot stop thinking about this person....you feel like you love them. Your loveless marriage was one thing. Now you are IN LOVE (thats what it truly feels like) with someone at your chiurch. The church you love and are deeply involved with.
If you are a pastor....what do you do?? LEAVE? Or do you stay and try to cope. If you are a member of the congregation...what do you do? Leave? Avooid that person?
But its no good. Your feelings are still there and you have tried to fight it.
So, would you as a Christian...leave your wife/husband, leave the church???? What would you do?????
You are a Christian...you are married to a husband/wife who is nasty/alcoholic/waster/spiteful......you don't love your husband or wife anymore. You can cope with that...trusting God for his love. Then WHAM you fall in love with someone AT YOUR CHURCH! You never ever flirted iwth this person, you in fact didn't really talk much to this person...but you have been going to the same church for 3 years or more and have worked alongside them.
Its totally unexpected!!! Like Cupids Arrow...you feel something happening to that person also. Like Chemistry....you suddenly cannot stop thinking about this person....you feel like you love them. Your loveless marriage was one thing. Now you are IN LOVE (thats what it truly feels like) with someone at your chiurch. The church you love and are deeply involved with.
If you are a pastor....what do you do?? LEAVE? Or do you stay and try to cope. If you are a member of the congregation...what do you do? Leave? Avooid that person?
But its no good. Your feelings are still there and you have tried to fight it.
So, would you as a Christian...leave your wife/husband, leave the church???? What would you do?????
Matthew 19:9
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
The Scripture says don't be unequally yoked with unbelievers. A married couple in which one is saved and one isn't most likely won't work because it is like night and day. One is looking for things of this life, and one is looking for the next. Either it will result in converting the significant other or dragging the walk of the believer down.
I don't see why a Pastor of the church should leave unless as mentioned above it it described as him committing Adultery. If so, it won't matter if they leave the church anyways because sin is sin. Best just keep to God's Law and show you love him.
If I was married to an unbeliever with no signs of conversion, I'd have to leave them if they were holding me back in my Christian walk. This means I could never marry another again unless the reason was for fornication. If there's a situation in which will hurt the church of God, than it needs to be avoided at all costs.
Yes, that is what I have been taught. You can leave your husband/wife but you cannot marry again. But, what happens if after you have separated and are living apart you fall in love with someone else???
You could be commiting a sin by LUSTING AFTER SOMEONE
or you could avoid this by MARRYING TO AVOID BURNING WITH LUST.
I know a pastor who divorced his wife and married a younger woman - not from his church. his ministry has never been the same since.
Do you believe in TRUE LOVE though? Is there such a thing? And as a Christian, if you meet someone who you feel is you SOUL MATE, but you are already married to someone horrible - what do you do?
The Scriptures are clear. As you have stated. But falling in love - has ruined many churches and hurt many people. Troulbe is FEELINGS and LOVE cannot always be easily controlled.
Yes, that is what I have been taught. You can leave your husband/wife but you cannot marry again. But, what happens if after you have separated and are living apart you fall in love with someone else???
You could be commiting a sin by LUSTING AFTER SOMEONE
or you could avoid this by MARRYING TO AVOID BURNING WITH LUST.
I know a pastor who divorced his wife and married a younger woman - not from his church. his ministry has never been the same since.
Do you believe in TRUE LOVE though? Is there such a thing? And as a Christian, if you meet someone who you feel is you SOUL MATE, but you are already married to someone horrible - what do you do?
The Scriptures are clear. As you have stated. But falling in love - has ruined many churches and hurt many people. Troulbe is FEELINGS and LOVE cannot always be easily controlled.
If the marriage you're currently in seems unrepairable (I don't know if it is or not), than I'd leave. Please this is your decision though not mine. It's just what I would do. It might be repairable. When the oath was taken "til death do us part" that is an oath to God, and God will hold us accountable for it. Maybe the person can get saved and clean his act up by the Grace of God.
I don't know the justification to sin to cover sin, but it happens. It doesn't make it right. God's will is that we overcome the Lust and put our affections on things above. Love him more than our spouses, kids, family, etc.. We show our love for him by keeping his commandments.
God will bless a marriage of two equally yoked believers that are living for God. I don't know about the divorce issue though remarrying another which he deems as Adultery.
It's tough, and we ALL deal with it so you are not alone.
this is gonna be tough, when the heart feels a passion for someone, it is truly difficult to avoid it. you want to give in and love that person and express it outwardly. No matter how many scriptures you read or are told, you cannot resist that emotional pulling of the heart. that part of you wants to love so much. this is truly tough. does the other person even know they are loved by this person? do they feel the same way?
maybe it is infactuation, someone finally pays attention to that person, smiles, listens etc... and the person is finally alive again. Love has finally began to take root, and now you cannot do anything without thinking of that person. this is truly tough. cant say you should leave or stay at the church. i think you are not going anywhere, you love this person and dont want to be away from them. you look forward to being with him/her. you can try to decieve yourself, you your heart is falling in love. be very careful,
There are many recognisable and identifiable features between love and lust which from my point of view are as follows:
Lust is the desire of the flesh, the carnal nature, but true love is giving one's all heart, soul and mind.
Lust is the desire to take, but love is the desire to give. Lust cares for itself, but love cares for others.
Lust is an intense, obsessive and possessive desire. Love is an intense feeling of compassion and affection.
Lust wants a quick fix. Lust is a craving that is never satisfied. Lust is selfish and uses others to satisfy its selfish desire. Lust has no regard to others' feelings. Lust, once it has taken what it desires; wants to know no more and cares no more. Lust is an emotional roller-coaster. Lust turns nasty if it cannot have what it wants. Lust is spontaneous and satisfaction is short lived. Lust lacks patience and cannot wait. Lust does not consider circumstances. Lust is emotionally driven, love is wisely driven.
Love is considerate, lust does not care. Love appreciates and is grateful, lust is never thankful. Love is selfless, lust is selfish. Love builds, lust destroys.
Love increases, lust decreases.
Lust dictates, love explains. Love is patient, lust cannot wait. Love understands, but lust refuses to understand.
Love is wisdom, lust is ignorance.
Lust takes advantage and uses. Love is kind, lust is aggressive. Love does not criticise and does not find fault. Lust abuses and does not give excuse.
Lust is gullible.
Love is full and gives out of its fullness, but lust is empty and bare, and has nothing to give. Love heals,
lust scars and causes damage.
Love congratulates and is happy for others,
Lust envies and wants what others have.
Love does not compare and is self grateful, but lust is always on the search for its next prey.
Lust devours and leaves nothing behind.
Love likes the light, lust hides in the dark. Love manifest itself in the open, lust in hiding it works.
Lust consumes all energy; and anxiety and fear it brings.
In times of hardship, love understands, supports and sustains; however lust looses control or flees. Love endures; lust cannot stand and breaks fast. Lust can hear, but refuses to listen, it can look, but refuses to see. In love you can confide, in lust you cannot trust.
Lust fakes love, to get what it wants.
Love comes from God, lust is from the devil. Lust is a disease that needs love to heal.
** divorce is only granted by God for two reasons:
[1] marital unfaithfulnes: Matthew 19:9, Matthew 5:31,32
[2] malicious desertion of the spouse: Malachi 2:14-15
Otherwise God says:
" 'I hate divorce,' says the LORD God of Israel..' " Malachi 2:16
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie
You are a Christian...you are married to a husband/wife who is nasty/alcoholic/waster/spiteful......you don't love your husband or wife anymore. You can cope with that...trusting God for his love.
Q: Did Jesus include any of those for a reason to get divorced in Matthew 19:9, Matthew 5:31,32 ? A: The objective and truthful answer is .. no.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie
Then WHAM you fall in love with someone AT YOUR CHURCH! You never ever flirted iwth this person, you in fact didn't really talk much to this person...but you have been going to the same church for 3 years or more and have worked alongside them.
Jesus says
Matthew 5:28
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Q: Did Jesus give any exceptions like being married to a "nasty/alcoholic/waster/spiteful [spouse]" A: The objective and truthful answer is .. no.
A: the "whamer" (in your scenerio) leaves open the possibility of being guilty of marital unfaithfulness ... which "falling in love" with another person while married is doing in the heart.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie
If you are a pastor....what do you do?? LEAVE? Or do you stay and try to cope.
Yes resign.. as the pastor. (if he has "fell in love" with another woman)
A pastor (and their wife) have been held to conduct standard by God in keeping the office called as a pastor. Titus 1:5-9 ... 1 Timothy 3:1-12
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie
If you are a member of the congregation...what do you do? Leave? Avooid that person?
But its no good. Your feelings are still there and you have tried to fight it.
So, would you as a Christian...leave your wife/husband, leave the church???? What would you do?????
God said "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you" James 4:7 but if resistance is based on your ability \ efforts more than likely one is going to "WHAM" ... fail in resisting.
God does not say ... "Submit to your ability to resist the devil and when when all else fails reside to yourself to the inevitable"
what do you do?
"Submit yourselves, then, to God" James 4:7
“Pray that you will not fall into temptation.” Luke 22:40
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he willnot let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Corinthians 10:13
"pray for those who mistreat you." Luke 6:28
There is no Biblical justification for "falling in love" with another person while being married.
Do everything possible to help the nasty/alcoholic/waster/spiteful spouse with his\her short comings which would include Christian counsiling for both.
Until the nasty/alcoholic/waster/spiteful spouse is unrepentative of unfaithfulnes \ malicious desertion one is obligated to the spouse as promised before God as vowed.
Last edited by twin.spin; 08-28-2012 at 11:07 AM..
Reason: spacing gremlins
You stay with your mate and never try to have any relationship outside of your marriage as scripture teaches you to do. You be obedient to God. No need to even ask the question since scripture is very clear on this.
That's the way I see it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie
You are a Christian...you are married to a husband/wife who is nasty/alcoholic/waster/spiteful......you don't love your husband or wife anymore. You can cope with that...trusting God for his love. Then WHAM you fall in love with someone AT YOUR CHURCH! You never ever flirted iwth this person, you in fact didn't really talk much to this person...but you have been going to the same church for 3 years or more and have worked alongside them.
Its totally unexpected!!! Like Cupids Arrow...you feel something happening to that person also. Like Chemistry....you suddenly cannot stop thinking about this person....you feel like you love them. Your loveless marriage was one thing. Now you are IN LOVE (thats what it truly feels like) with someone at your chiurch. The church you love and are deeply involved with.
If you are a pastor....what do you do?? LEAVE? Or do you stay and try to cope. If you are a member of the congregation...what do you do? Leave? Avooid that person?
But its no good. Your feelings are still there and you have tried to fight it.
So, would you as a Christian...leave your wife/husband, leave the church???? What would you do?????
** divorce is only granted by God for two reasons:
[1] marital unfaithfulnes: Matthew 19:9, Matthew 5:31,32
[2] malicious desertion of the spouse: Malachi 2:14-15
Otherwise God says:
" 'I hate divorce,' says the LORD God of Israel..' " Malachi 2:16
Q: Did Jesus include any of those for a reason to get divorced in Matthew 19:9, Matthew 5:31,32 ? A: The objective and truthful answer is .. no.
Jesus says
Matthew 5:28
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Q: Did Jesus give any exceptions like being married to a "nasty/alcoholic/waster/spiteful [spouse]" A: The objective and truthful answer is .. no.
A: the "whamer" (in your scenerio) leaves open the possibility of being guilty of marital unfaithfulness ... which "falling in love" with another person while married is doing in the heart.
Yes resign.. as the pastor. (if he has "fell in love" with another woman)
A pastor (and their wife) have been held to conduct standard by God in keeping the office called as a pastor. Titus 1:5-9 ... 1 Timothy 3:1-12
God said "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you" James 4:7 but if resistance is based on your ability \ efforts more than likely one is going to "WHAM" ... fail in resisting.
God does not say ... "Submit to your ability to resist the devil and when when all else fails reside to yourself to the inevitable"
what do you do?
"Submit yourselves, then, to God" James 4:7
“Pray that you will not fall into temptation.” Luke 22:40
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he willnot let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Corinthians 10:13
"pray for those who mistreat you." Luke 6:28
There is no Biblical justification for "falling in love" with another person while being married.
Do everything possible to help the nasty/alcoholic/waster/spiteful spouse with his\her short comings which would include Christian counsiling for both.
Until the nasty/alcoholic/waster/spiteful spouse is unrepentative of unfaithfulnes \ malicious desertion one is obligated to the spouse as promised before God as vowed.
It is the Christians path - to Take up our Crosses daily and follow him. I know that God wants us to give him what is not good for us. Sometimes we can be like children holding on tightly to some object - its sharp, or it has potential to harm. God says "Give that to me" and we need to realise that God wants us to give that thing to him that is not right - God has something far, far better.
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