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Hi all. My mother in law is a jehovah's witness. For the most part we get along just fine, provided we side step any conversations where her religious views are very strong on (I am an atheist). A few months ago, I was taking my daughter to visit my cousin and his partner of 20 years (they are gay). She wrote me a very hurtful letter advising that I shouldn't visit them as they were probably pedophiles and I would be a bad mother if I did visit them. I responded saying she should keep such judgmental and disgusting thoughts to herself and she should apologize for saying such a hurtful thing about my family (she also implied that my father shouldn't look after my daughter in case he was a pedophile).
Now we are in a stale mate. She is refusing to apologize and I don't really feel like talking to her after her saying such hurtful things. However I don't want my husband and daughter to miss out on a relationship with her (my husband has also refused to talk to her as he has had many years of awful judgements and comments from her and this was the final straw).
I'm really unsure how I can resolve this "stand off". Does anyone have any advice on how I can reason with a JW about this? I appreciate your help in resolving this family problem.
Bossing people around and controlling , and judging people and relations around can be out of place , where it is non of their business to tell others their opinion... Then on top of that there is judging gays , which is added......Best to do is to ignore her advice and let it go , and forgive and forget..... So if it come back later and haunts you later where unforgivingness never came to her , then tell her ` you don`t appreciate her controlling advice `...... Lord Jesus said `if peace will not come then forsake the relation and never think of them or visit them again `
First of all, I would respond to her in the same manner she addressed you, in a letter. I would admonish her in a tactful way as to not be spiteful or cruel, even though this is what she did to you. I would let her know that her concerns are unfounded and without merit and are nothing more than baseless opinions on her part. It is not up to her to judge anyone nor is it her right to debase a persons life style. I'm reminded of a quote, I can't remember where I read it so I'll just paraphrase: The tongue is a vicious weapon, for not only can it destroy the person, but it can also extinguish the flame of the soul.
By coming to a Christian forum to ask about something like this you should expect truthful answers.
I suppose it depends on your intentions. If you were a Christian and wanted to raise your child to not see sin as a good or acceptable thing then she has some good points. You should not allow your child to see this sin in any positive way. While people should be allowed to do anything they want, as a Christian one must not condone their sin by your actions and you sure don't want to teach your child that this is in anyway acceptable. Since you claim to be an atheist you may not care if your child rejects God as you have and may want her to be into the same type of sin. If so you should be allowing her to be indoctrinated by these people.
Mother-in-laws will sometimes offer their opinion about raising children. I always take what I like and reject what I don't but see no reason for confrontation unless they cause it. Been married almost 25 years and have not had a confrontation yet. Nor has my spouse had one with my family.
I have no idea about the "pedophile" comments unless there is some history of it we don't know about.
While I am sure you will reject my answer for the most part, you did come to our Christian forum and should expect us to give you such answers. I don't think you should be mean to your cousin but the only right thing to do is not allow your child to see her sinful lifestyle in any positive way.
Don't expect to change her. That is her choice to be so rude and hateful because, or not because of her religious beliefs.
If you continue to insist she apologize I believe any apology from her will not be sincere and will probably have conditions attached to it...again, her choice.
Let it go for awhile and go about your life. The emotional dwelling on her and her attitude will put a strain on your family life. You have tossed the ball into the court of your MIL. Let her decide if the Watchtower Society is more important than the family God has given her.
I struggled for years to keep the fanatical religious views, fears and predjudice from my children they were exposed to almost daily from beloved family members.
Hi all. My mother in law is a jehovah's witness. For the most part we get along just fine, provided we side step any conversations where her religious views are very strong on (I am an atheist). A few months ago, I was taking my daughter to visit my cousin and his partner of 20 years (they are gay). She wrote me a very hurtful letter advising that I shouldn't visit them as they were probably pedophiles and I would be a bad mother if I did visit them. I responded saying she should keep such judgmental and disgusting thoughts to herself and she should apologize for saying such a hurtful thing about my family (she also implied that my father shouldn't look after my daughter in case he was a pedophile).
Now we are in a stale mate. She is refusing to apologize and I don't really feel like talking to her after her saying such hurtful things. However I don't want my husband and daughter to miss out on a relationship with her (my husband has also refused to talk to her as he has had many years of awful judgements and comments from her and this was the final straw).
I'm really unsure how I can resolve this "stand off". Does anyone have any advice on how I can reason with a JW about this? I appreciate your help in resolving this family problem.
There does not seem to be anything to resolve. She does not agree with your choice to visit your family and take your child. She does not see anything wrong with her views and you do not see anything wrong with your views and neither of you is going to change in that regard. Stay away from her since she seems to be a toxic person to you and leave it at that.
I might be beyond tempted to inform her that not ALL pedophiles are MEN so "just in case" she won't be looking after your daughter either.
I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses, so while I disagree with the method she used and the harshness of the wording you say she inserted, I understand her perspective on the issue of homosexuality as it relates to bible teachings. I would be unresponsive to her as well though, if she came AT me in that way...
That said, her beliefs are strong and deep and bible based even if she is not tactful with her words.
You might simply tell her that while you appreciate her loving concern for "her" grand daughter, you are a loving capable mother who would NEVER knowingly place "YOUR" daughter in harms way. You might suggest to her that while you appreciate her love for the baby, she not inject her sentiments in any way with regard to "your" other family members and this way there will hopefully be no reason to have any dispute....
Tell her that while you appreciate her sincerity, and you know her motives are pure, her tone is not loving and her words are hurtful. If she can not respect that then you will withdraw from further conversation and sharing any news on "your" families comings and goings.
I pray that you will not think harshly of all of Jehovah's Servants because of this experience... there are some that simply do not understand tact and insightful discernment. Agape
Religious extremists like your mother in law don't know the first thing about homosexuality. They are ignorant and uneducated, and cling to misinterpreted out of context verses in the English Bible to condemn an entire segment of humanity.
Ignore her and let God judge her as she is judging gays. She will not escape his judgement for her hate and spreading of lies. Gays are extremely unlikely to be pedophiles. She has been brainwashed by evil propaganda pushed by anti-gay hate groups.
I pray that you will not think harshly of all of Jehovah's Servants because of this experience... there are some that simply do not understand tact and insightful discernment. Agape
I think harshly of anyone so ignorant as to think they understand the Biblical issue related to gays when all they can do is quote 5 English verses out of context from a 21st Century Bible(seeing as orientation was not even discovered until 1800 years after scripture was written) and use it to condemn an entire segment of humanity.
I think people who constantly condemn gays will get some of the harshest judgement from God. Their self-righteousness blinds them to reality.
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