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Old 06-01-2013, 04:54 AM
 
Location: Florida
5,965 posts, read 6,992,524 times
Reputation: 1615

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I'm in a situation that is uncomfortable and I don't know what to do.

One of my daughters went to school with a girl who is now age 26 and living with her mother who has been mentally and physically ill all her life. The father, a doctor, left them some years ago and is said to have abused them and ran off with another woman. The grown daughter has told me her dad raped her when she was a child and always belittled and abused her mom. They were left with the house and a lot of bills and credit card debt that I'm told he ran up just to spite them. We have helped them by having loaned them a car to drive for over a year and giving them some money when we could (hundreds of dollars). But I can't afford to help them financially anymore. We still let her keep and use the car.

My dilemma: the adult daughter called last night and told me she thinks her mother is near death and wants me to come pray with them. She said her mother is afraid and feels that she is losing a battle with demons or something like that. I am uncomfortable with the idea of visiting this woman (the mother) because she is the type of believer who watches TBN night and day and I know that our beliefs are very different. I dread the thought of going. What should I do? I have considered letting a little church around the corner know that the woman desires visitation and prayer and seeing if they are willing to go.
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Old 06-01-2013, 06:17 AM
 
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Sometimes the hardest things God puts in our path and directs us to do give us the greatest blessings. Remember that.
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Old 06-01-2013, 06:40 AM
 
Location: Southern Oregon
17,071 posts, read 10,860,314 times
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I take it that they don't attend any kind of meeting. I think your idea of taking the situation to a meeting is a good one, however, I think I would take some care in being sure that the meeting you re3port the situation to is one that shares her perceptions about spiritual matters.
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Old 06-01-2013, 08:30 AM
 
19,942 posts, read 17,120,178 times
Reputation: 2014
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heartsong View Post
I'm in a situation that is uncomfortable and I don't know what to do.

One of my daughters went to school with a girl who is now age 26 and living with her mother who has been mentally and physically ill all her life. The father, a doctor, left them some years ago and is said to have abused them and ran off with another woman. The grown daughter has told me her dad raped her when she was a child and always belittled and abused her mom. They were left with the house and a lot of bills and credit card debt that I'm told he ran up just to spite them. We have helped them by having loaned them a car to drive for over a year and giving them some money when we could (hundreds of dollars). But I can't afford to help them financially anymore. We still let her keep and use the car.

My dilemma: the adult daughter called last night and told me she thinks her mother is near death and wants me to come pray with them. She said her mother is afraid and feels that she is losing a battle with demons or something like that. I am uncomfortable with the idea of visiting this woman (the mother) because she is the type of believer who watches TBN night and day and I know that our beliefs are very different. I dread the thought of going. What should I do? I have considered letting a little church around the corner know that the woman desires visitation and prayer and seeing if they are willing to go.

She obviously views you as someone that she wants to reach out to. You ought to consider maybe going and spending 30 minutes with her. I know it's tough. Sometimes the last thing we want to do is go and visit someone that we think we might be uncomfortable around. I've found out firsthand I've been blessed the most sometimes in that sort of time.

If nothing else, it's to set a good example for those watching.
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Old 06-01-2013, 08:49 AM
 
8,127 posts, read 6,871,354 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vizio View Post
She obviously views you as someone that she wants to reach out to. You ought to consider maybe going and spending 30 minutes with her. I know it's tough. Sometimes the last thing we want to do is go and visit someone that we think we might be uncomfortable around. I've found out firsthand I've been blessed the most sometimes in that sort of time.

This was my thought as well.

I would go and be there for the daughter to give the daughter some strength. Once you are there, then perhaps you can assess the situation more properly and help the daughter decide what to do. Perhaps hospice or something of that nature?
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Old 06-01-2013, 09:04 PM
 
Location: Florida
5,965 posts, read 6,992,524 times
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Thank you everyone who replied. I appreciate it.
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Old 06-01-2013, 10:11 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
23,916 posts, read 32,238,895 times
Reputation: 67876
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heartsong View Post
I'm in a situation that is uncomfortable and I don't know what to do.

One of my daughters went to school with a girl who is now age 26 and living with her mother who has been mentally and physically ill all her life. The father, a doctor, left them some years ago and is said to have abused them and ran off with another woman. The grown daughter has told me her dad raped her when she was a child and always belittled and abused her mom. They were left with the house and a lot of bills and credit card debt that I'm told he ran up just to spite them. We have helped them by having loaned them a car to drive for over a year and giving them some money when we could (hundreds of dollars). But I can't afford to help them financially anymore. We still let her keep and use the car.

My dilemma: the adult daughter called last night and told me she thinks her mother is near death and wants me to come pray with them. She said her mother is afraid and feels that she is losing a battle with demons or something like that. I am uncomfortable with the idea of visiting this woman (the mother) because she is the type of believer who watches TBN night and day and I know that our beliefs are very different. I dread the thought of going. What should I do? I have considered letting a little church around the corner know that the woman desires visitation and prayer and seeing if they are willing to go.

I think that it is a difficult situation on many levels. I really believe in keeping good boundaries, but I commend you for helping this family. It seems that they have more problems that anyone should have.

I'm wondering what you think about the situation. Do you think that the woman is near death and is being plagued by demons? Do you think that there is some truth to that? Or do you think that she is hallucinating and mentally and physically ill? Or are you not sure?

I think she is not well. She obviously sees you for the spiritually mature Christian that you are. How well do you know her?

The Lord absolutely does put opportunities in our path to minister to others, and this could well be one. However, it might not be that you are to handle this alone.
I think you need help in order to help her.

I am a former psych nurse (inactive) and I personally would not go their alone. I believe that demonic attack is possible, but it's not the usual reason why someone would think and say such things. There could be some demonic involvement, but I am getting the impression that this woman is clinically psychotic. She may be agoraphobic and a shut in who watches TBN all day and night.
Going there to pray with her, will not be the end of this. It might be the beginning.

There are also other concerns. What if she is unhappy with your prayers and becomes violent? What if you go there and do not deliver her from her "demonic plague" and she blames you - or takes her own life? I would not want you to feel guilty or traumatized - but it would be difficult not to be.

Is the daughter a stable individual? Perhaps you could talk to her and convince her that her mother needs medical and psychiatric care as well as spiritual care.

What is her religious background? I would at least get a Pastor who is close to her belief system, so that she does not become frustrated and angry. If someone attempts to pray for her using the language that she is accustomed to, and then suggests that she get additional help, that would seem to be the best possible scenario.

Does she expect for you to visit tonight or tomorrow?

Let me know the answers to these questions. I am praying for you.

Sheena
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Old 06-01-2013, 10:19 PM
 
Location: Northern Wisconsin
10,379 posts, read 10,864,558 times
Reputation: 18712
I would consult a pastor in your area who has some serious theological training. Tell him what you know, and tell him that the woman wants to see someone about spiritual issues. This woman has some real problems and needs experienced well trained help.

You always have to remember that demons are real. She could indeed be dealing with something demonic.
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Old 06-02-2013, 08:10 AM
 
Location: Florida -
10,213 posts, read 14,772,645 times
Reputation: 21845
Many times we are uncomfortable about counseling and praying for others in unusual circumstances ... because we focus on our own limitations and lack of knowledge. Ask God to protect you and guide you in how and what to pray.

You have already generously helped them physically There is more going on here than just the woman and daughter's circumstances. The Lord may now be using this to show and teach you about also helping others Spiritually. Remember, ‘Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world’ - Trust Him!

Last edited by jghorton; 06-02-2013 at 08:18 AM..
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Old 06-02-2013, 08:38 AM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA, now.
21,020 posts, read 19,257,470 times
Reputation: 23654
I could not add anything wiser than the above posts...good people here!
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