How can I try to get ride of feelings of hate in my heart?

[DRob4JC]

Originally Posted by pdw

I know it says in the Bible not to hate our fellow mankind, but I can't help getting very angry feelings inside of me towards people while in an argument or if they are being unkind. How can I stop this and learn to forgive others like Jesus did?

Don't shortcut your relationship w/ Christ. Patience is part of the fruit of the Spirit. It will naturally grow out as you abide in Christ. Read John 15:1-17 about abiding in Christ.

[Azrael17]

Originally Posted by pdw

I know it says in the Bible not to hate our fellow mankind, but I can't help getting very angry feelings inside of me towards people while in an argument or if they are being unkind. How can I stop this and learn to forgive others like Jesus did?

This may sound silly but give it a try,
think of a bible verse that calms you down and soothes you,
then take several deep breaths, letting them out slowly, do this for a while, try to get the feeling of inhaling and then exhaling your anger. This always works for me. But this will only calm you down and keep you level headed so you don't do or say any thing you regret, the next step is harder,
Once you are calm attempt to resolve the dispute in a respectful and peaceful manner, do not get violent but if the other person attacks you then defend yourself.

It is important that once you are calm you talk about your feelings with each other, allow the other person time to cool off if they where angry with you too.

Meditate daily using the breathing exercise described, you may use any method of mediation I personally have a style of meditation where I reflect upon all the events that happened that day and then think about scripture followed by how I feel.

Meditation is not a way to keep yourself from getting angry but rather a way to gain control of it, you will never be able to avoid getting angry or frustrated even Jesus got mad at the Pharisees in the New Testament. Some times Anger is spontaneous and can not be controlled, you must be very careful of that kind of anger. Even Jesus had a fit where he disturbed the normal functioning of the Jewish Temple by tossing over tables and ranting at the leaders within. It might be seen as righteous anger by us that Jesus did that, but if he where alive today and did that in a penny pinching church they would kick him out and tell him he is going to the perverted version helheim.

[pcamps]

Hating another is like hating yourself, you never feel good about it. Where as loving another.........

[ukrkoz]

In Dhamma practice our aim should be to get rid of the unwholesome factors and cultivate the wholesome ones. This has been outlined by the Buddha under Right Effort (sammaa vaayaama), the fifth factor of the Noble Eightfold Path, in terms of four practices. The disciple rouses his will, makes an effort, stirs up energy, exerts the mind, and strives to:
a. prevent the arising of unarisen evil, unwholesome thoughts;
b. abandon evil, unwholesome thoughts that have arisen;
c. produce wholesome thoughts that have not yet arisen;
d. maintain the wholesome factors that have arisen and not let them disappear, but bring them to growth, maturity and full perfection of development.
Regarding the unwholesome thoughts, to prevent them from arising or to abandon them as soon as they have arisen, we have to be mindful of the state of the mind, i.e., whether the mind is with greed, hate and delusion or not. By the constant practice of mindfulness we can learn to catch the unwholesome mental factors as soon as they arise. This mere recognition is often enough to prevent them from gaining ground, from leading to action by deed, word or thought. If this is done on a regular basis, these unwholesome thoughts can become attenuated and eventually cease.
Sometimes, however, unwholesome thoughts keep recurring and mere observation of the state of the mind may not be enough to deal with them. In such situations there are five methods proposed by the Buddha, described in the 20th Middle Length Discourse (Majjhima Nikaaya), MN 20. These are, briefly, as follows:
a. to give one's attention to a different object of a wholesome nature;
b. to reflect on the danger in those unwholesome thoughts;
c. to try not to give any attention to them;
d. to give attention to the removal of the source of those thoughts;
e. to clench the teeth, press the tongue against the palate and restrain, subdue, and suppress the mind with the mind.


Meditation is an important aspect of Buddhist practice. There are forty subjects of samaadhi meditation to suit different individual temperaments and also many types of insight meditation. To select a suitable subject of meditation it is best to seek the help of a competent teacher. If such a teacher is not available, then one has to make a sincere and honest search of one's temperament and character and find guidance in a standard book on meditation. A few examples are given below:
1. The four sublime abodes — loving kindness for those with ill will; compassion for those with a streak of cruelty; sympathetic joy for those with envy, jealousy, aversion, and boredom; equanimity for those with lust and greed.
2. For the conceited: meditation on the absence of an abiding self in all bodily and mental phenomena of existence.
3. For those with sexual obsession: meditation on the unattractive nature of the body.
4. For those with wavering confidence:meditation on the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha.
The ultimate aim should be to develop wisdom (pañña). This is achieved by insight meditation (vipassanaa bhaavanaa), which leads to fully comprehending by direct experience the three characteristics of existence — impermanence, unsatisfactoriness, and selflessness.

[ukrkoz]

From HWP Moments with Friends...
Is it possible to put a thought out of the mind? If so, how is this done; how can one prevent its recurrence and keep it out of the mind?
It is possible to keep a thought out of the mind, but it is not possible to put a thought out of the mind as we would put a tramp out of the house. The reason why so many are not able to keep away undesirable thoughts, and are not able to think on definite lines, is because they believe in the prevalent notion that they must put thoughts out of their minds. It is impossible to put a thought out of one's mind because in putting it out attention must be given the thought, and while the mind gives the thought attention it is impossible to get rid of that thought. The one who says: Go away you bad thought, or, I will not think of this or that, keeps that thing in his mind as securely as though it were riveted there. If one says to himself that he must not think of this or that thing, he will be like the ascetics and hermits and fanatics who make a list of things they are not to think about and then proceed to go over this list mentally and to put those thoughts out of their mind and fail. The old story of "The Great Green Bear" illustrates this very well. A mediaeval alchemist was pestered by one of his pupils who wanted to be told how to transmute lead into gold. His master told the pupil that he could not do it, even though he were told, because he was not qualified. On the continued pleading of the pupil, the alchemist decided to teach the pupil a lesson and told him that as he was going on a journey the following day he would leave him the formula by which he might succeed if he were able to follow all instructions, but that it would be necessary to pay the closest attention to the formula and to be accurate in every detail. The pupil was delighted and eagerly began the work at the time appointed. He followed the instructions carefully and was accurate in the preparation of his materials and instruments. He saw that metals of the right quality and quantity were in their proper crucibles, and the temperature required was produced. He was careful that the vapors were all conserved and passed through the alembics and retorts, and found that the deposits from these were exactly as stated in the formula. All this caused him much satisfaction and as he went on with the experiment he gained confidence in its ultimate success. One of the rules was that he should not read through the formula but should follow it only as he proceeded with his work. As he proceeded, he came to the statement: Now that the experiment has proceeded thus far and that the metal is at white heat, take a little of the red powder between the forefinger and thumb of the right hand, a little of the white powder between the forefinger and thumb of the left hand, stand over the glowing mass which you now have before you and be ready to drop these powders after you have obeyed the next order. The young man did as ordered and read on: You have now reached the crucial test, and success will follow only if you are able to obey the following: Do not think of the great green bear and be sure that you do not think of the great green bear. The young man paused breathless. "The great green bear. I am not to think of the great green bear," said he. "The great green bear! What is the great green bear? No, I will not think about the great green bear, but, confound it, I am, thinking about the great green bear." As he continued to think that he should not think about the great green bear he could think about nothing else, until finally it occurred to him that he should go on with his experiment and although the thought of a great green bear was still in his mind he turned to the formula to see what the next order was and he read: You have failed in the trial. You have failed at the crucial moment because you have allowed your attention to be taken from the work to think about a great green bear. The heat in the furnace has not been kept up, the proper amount of vapor has failed to pass through this and that retort, and it is useless now to drop the red and white powders.
A thought remains in the mind as long as attention is given to it. When the mind ceases to give attention to one thought and places it on another thought, the thought which has attention remains in the mind, and that which has no attention gets out. The way to get rid of a thought is to hold the mind definitely and persistently on one definite and particular subject or thought. It will be found that if this is done, no thoughts which do not relate to the subject can intrude themselves upon the mind. While the mind desires a thing its thought will revolve around that thing of desire because the desire is like a center of gravity and attracts the mind. The mind can free itself from that desire, if it wills.
The process by which it is freed is that it sees and understands that the desire is not the best for it and then decides on something that is better. After the mind decides on the best subject, it should direct its thought to that subject and attention should be given to that subject only. By this process, the center of gravity is changed from the old desire to the new subject of thought. Mind decides where its center of gravity will be. To whatever subject or object the mind goes there will its thought be. So the mind continues to change its subject of thought, its center of gravity, until it learns to place the center of gravity in itself. When this is done, the mind withdraws into itself its ramifications and functions through the avenues of sense and the sense organs. The mind, not functioning through its senses into the physical world, and learning to turn its energies into itself, finally awakens to its own reality as distinct from its fleshly and other bodies. By so doing, the mind not only discovers its real self but it may discover the real self of all others and the real world which penetrates and upholds all others.
Such realization may not be attained at once, but it will be realized as the final result of the keeping undesirable thoughts out of the mind by attending to and thinking of others which are desirable. No one is at once able to think only of the thought which he wishes to think of and thus to exclude or prevent other thoughts from entering the mind; but he will be able to do so if he tries and keeps on trying

[Delta-SSiPP]

Originally Posted by pdw

I know it says in the Bible not to hate our fellow mankind, but I can't help getting very angry feelings inside of me towards people while in an argument or if they are being unkind. How can I stop this and learn to forgive others like Jesus did?

You at a good start now cause you admitting the problem. Everyone have their way of dealing with issues, do you watch Joel Osteen. What do you like to do that brings a positive thought, sometimes you may like the people in your circle but they may not be good for you.

[Joint heir with jesus]

Originally Posted by pdw

I know it says in the Bible not to hate our fellow mankind, but I can't help getting very angry feelings inside of me towards people while in an argument or if they are being unkind. How can I stop this and learn to forgive others like Jesus did?

Forgiveness toward others is required of us by God (Matt. 6:14-15) but people make it so much harder than it has to be. The reason for this is that we tend to tie forgiveness to our emotions. We have been hurt or insulted or the like by someone and our emotions have been stepped on. You can call me every filthy word in the English language but I don't have to be insulted by it. I can choose not to be. The word forgive is an action word, not an emotion. Separate the two. You can choose to forgive that person whether or not you FEEL like it. Just do it. Then pray that God will bring your emotions around later to where they should be.

[hljc]

Jesus said in Luke 23:34...``Forgive them , for they know not what they do ``...See this is how Jesus forgave them and stopped the hate from coming ...There are many preachers who say ` Don`t blame the devil` , but there is no mercy for the devil from God , so if you can resist the sin of hate for the devil , then you Can blame the devil , and get a pass from God ....As you see someone trespassing against you , you can also see the devil on his shoulder leading him on ..So you can say ` Forgive them for they know not what they do ``.....Another way to bring release from unforgiveness is from Matthew 19: 29..where Jesus said ...And every one that has forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters , father, or mother, or wife or children, or lands, for my name sake will receive an hundredfold, and will inherit everlasting life ``....... See forsaking means letting go with no complaining , and excommunicate the people , and pray and get release from Jesus Spirit......... I had this once and the release came and the ideas of unforgiveness and complaining and ideas from the sin from demons ended and ... then the ideas that if the time came the Lord had the option of turning it around then it was the Lord call......

[TRANSPONDER]

Originally Posted by Katzpur

When you figure it out, pdw, let me know, because I struggle with the same thing.

The trick is to not invest personal self -worth in what you are arguing about. For example, if I am arguing about evolution theory or the evidence for Exodus, I do not treat it as something that I have to defend on a personal self -worth basis. If it turns out to be disproven, untrue and I have to completely change my views, it doesn't hurt me to do it.

Of course for those who invest faith in a theory, that may not be easy.

[songinthewind7]

This sounds crude but get a dartboard, put their picture on it and have at it. It doesn't sound very nice but physically, it is helping to get the anger and hate out. Throw a tantrum.

Afterwards, sit back and think of why you have the hate you do for a person. I'm sure we all struggle with it and I've heard that what you hate in a person is something you hate within yourself. I'm not sure I believe it but I've had people in my life that have wronged or hurt me. It's a struggle to get through but sitting back and going step by step as to what is causing your anger is a good start but I'm a firm believer that one needs to be physical first and 'throw a tantrum' and then deal with the mental part of it.