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Old 10-17-2013, 10:52 PM
 
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Thinking of going to church for many reasons. Our culture is falling apart, dating isn't working for me, and I'd at least like to find a wife in my lifetime as opposed to dying alone, etc.

Wouldn't want to back to my old church, which is a near-eastern cultural church (I'm from a certain immigrant minority), because I find their/my parents culture grating and rife with personality disorders, and obsessed with money and materialism. Also, the pastor of the church didn't perform the funeral for this woman who, with her husband, gave their entire LIVES to the church, and did like EVERYTHING for it, just because she talked to a Presbytarian pastor before she died from cancer. The guy didn't do her funeral because of their stupid dogma, the stupid denominational differences.

So I've been thinking going to a non-denominational church. Who would you say these churches are for? Anyone have any experience with them? Apparently there is one or two mega-churches in New Jersey.

Honestly, if there were such a thing as a "agnostic breeder social club" I'd go to that, the concept of family life is important to me, and I look forward to being a Dad one day, and then a Grandad later. But, so far as I know, no such thing or anything close exists, and the only social organizations that (ostensibly) promote family life are churches. The whole religion thig=ng doesn't move me though. Don't get me wrong, I do believe there is a god/higher power, and my beliefs aren't worldly/solely rationalistic. I do believe people need direction, they need instruction to some extent, and that truly held beliefs are always slightly irrational and rightly so, else they wouldn't be clung to, also our culture is in shambles, it's largely egocentric and money-oriented, and these things are why science is over-rated. So is a non-denominational church a good fit for me?
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Old 10-18-2013, 07:35 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
85,511 posts, read 80,775,402 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peanuttree View Post
Thinking of going to church for many reasons. Our culture is falling apart, dating isn't working for me, and I'd at least like to find a wife in my lifetime as opposed to dying alone, etc.

Wouldn't want to back to my old church, which is a near-eastern cultural church (I'm from a certain immigrant minority), because I find their/my parents culture grating and rife with personality disorders, and obsessed with money and materialism. Also, the pastor of the church didn't perform the funeral for this woman who, with her husband, gave their entire LIVES to the church, and did like EVERYTHING for it, just because she talked to a Presbytarian pastor before she died from cancer. The guy didn't do her funeral because of their stupid dogma, the stupid denominational differences.

So I've been thinking going to a non-denominational church. Who would you say these churches are for? Anyone have any experience with them? Apparently there is one or two mega-churches in New Jersey.

Honestly, if there were such a thing as a "agnostic breeder social club" I'd go to that, the concept of family life is important to me, and I look forward to being a Dad one day, and then a Grandad later. But, so far as I know, no such thing or anything close exists, and the only social organizations that (ostensibly) promote family life are churches. The whole religion thig=ng doesn't move me though. Don't get me wrong, I do believe there is a god/higher power, and my beliefs aren't worldly/solely rationalistic. I do believe people need direction, they need instruction to some extent, and that truly held beliefs are always slightly irrational and rightly so, else they wouldn't be clung to, also our culture is in shambles, it's largely egocentric and money-oriented, and these things are why science is over-rated. So is a non-denominational church a good fit for me?
I don't know if it would be or not. I'm an Episcopalian--they're pretty much a refugee camp for people from other denominations. They are more welcoming than most other churches--anyone can come, including gay people, people of other races, etc, that are not welcome in some other churches. Women can serve as priests. It's a social-justice oriented form of Christianity. Questioning one's beliefs and acknowledging one's lack of faith is not met with shock and is seen as normal. They are not fundamentalist, however (not believing the Bible is the literal Word of God), which most non-denominational churches ARE, so if that's important to you, the Episcopal Church might not work.

But tell ya what--you say you believe in a god/higher power--ask him/her/it. Put it out there--"I want to find a church. Where should I go". Then try to let that go and wait for the answer and see what happens.
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Old 10-18-2013, 07:40 AM
 
12,028 posts, read 9,067,190 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I don't know if it would be or not. I'm an Episcopalian--they're pretty much a refugee camp for people from other denominations. They are more welcoming than most other churches--anyone can come, including gay people, people of other races, etc, that are not welcome in some other churches. Women can serve as priests. It's a social-justice oriented form of Christianity. Questioning one's beliefs and acknowledging one's lack of faith is not met with shock and is seen as normal. They are not fundamentalist, however (not believing the Bible is the literal Word of God), which most non-denominational churches ARE, so if that's important to you, the Episcopal Church might not work.

But tell ya what--you say you believe in a god/higher power--ask him/her/it. Put it out there--"I want to find a church. Where should I go". Then try to let that go and wait for the answer and see what happens.
I agree, Episcopalian or Catholic may work. No one will try to control your life.
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Old 10-18-2013, 08:09 AM
 
19,942 posts, read 16,795,606 times
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Originally Posted by Julian658 View Post
I agree, Episcopalian or Catholic may work. No one will try to control your life.
Except the church...
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Old 10-18-2013, 08:19 AM
 
19,942 posts, read 16,795,606 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peanuttree View Post
Thinking of going to church for many reasons. Our culture is falling apart, dating isn't working for me, and I'd at least like to find a wife in my lifetime as opposed to dying alone, etc.

Wouldn't want to back to my old church, which is a near-eastern cultural church (I'm from a certain immigrant minority), because I find their/my parents culture grating and rife with personality disorders, and obsessed with money and materialism. Also, the pastor of the church didn't perform the funeral for this woman who, with her husband, gave their entire LIVES to the church, and did like EVERYTHING for it, just because she talked to a Presbytarian pastor before she died from cancer. The guy didn't do her funeral because of their stupid dogma, the stupid denominational differences.

So I've been thinking going to a non-denominational church. Who would you say these churches are for? Anyone have any experience with them? Apparently there is one or two mega-churches in New Jersey.

Honestly, if there were such a thing as a "agnostic breeder social club" I'd go to that, the concept of family life is important to me, and I look forward to being a Dad one day, and then a Grandad later. But, so far as I know, no such thing or anything close exists, and the only social organizations that (ostensibly) promote family life are churches. The whole religion thig=ng doesn't move me though. Don't get me wrong, I do believe there is a god/higher power, and my beliefs aren't worldly/solely rationalistic. I do believe people need direction, they need instruction to some extent, and that truly held beliefs are always slightly irrational and rightly so, else they wouldn't be clung to, also our culture is in shambles, it's largely egocentric and money-oriented, and these things are why science is over-rated. So is a non-denominational church a good fit for me?
If it were me, I'd stay away from the mega-church thing. I've been there, done that, and gotten the t-shirt. Some of them are excellent, some are nothing more than a show and a big business.

There are some excellent, Bible-teaching non-denominational Evangelical churches. On the other hand, there are some horrible, scripture-twisting ones, too. It really depends on the local church. Not to say that a mainline denominational one is any easier to pick.

Personally, I'd start with something along the lines of a Baptist church, or look for one with "Bible" in the name-- like "Community Bible Church". If you'd like you are welcome to post a link to a website of any church you'd consider and I'll look at their doctrinal statement. Or you can feel free to message me directly.

God Bless, I'll pray that you find the right one for you.
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Old 10-18-2013, 08:23 AM
 
Location: california
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While there is no perfect church , I recomend the Calvery Chapel . Even they differ but usually more reasonable and biblicaly orented.
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Old 10-18-2013, 08:24 AM
 
19,942 posts, read 16,795,606 times
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Originally Posted by arleigh View Post
While there is no perfect church , I recomend the Calvery Chapel . Even they differ but usually more reasonable and biblicaly orented.
Agreed--I personally differ quite a bit in SOME areas of doctrine, but for the most part, all I've heard is good regarding them.
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Old 10-18-2013, 08:39 AM
 
Location: NY
9,131 posts, read 19,459,387 times
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I agree with the sentiment to be careful around those non denominational churches. Some are excellent, some are not, and some upon closer examination appear to be a denomination in disguise.

Locally here, we have a few non-denominational churches, but all but one really appear to closely resemble pentacostal (with speaking in toungues, etc). To me, that seemed odd for non-denominational, since I would approach such a church as following a more loose, liberal interpretation of scriptures.

Basically, just try out a bunch of different places. Non-D as well as denominational. See which ones make you more, or less comfortable. More or less welcoming. More or less controlling (if that is your concern). Evaluate them and see which one God is leading you towards.
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Old 10-18-2013, 08:45 AM
 
12,028 posts, read 9,067,190 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vizio View Post
Except the church...
It depends.


If the poster wants a very classic majestic traditional church with all the trappings no one will be able to beat the RCC.


At the same time they will not try to control or judge you.

The OP may have to do the year long rite of initiation to get all the sacraments and his paper work in order. During this year he will meet with a priest to get educated on the RCC. But, as I said, this is a no pressure, non proselytization situation.
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Old 10-18-2013, 09:02 AM
 
Location: Idaho
6,243 posts, read 7,406,122 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peanuttree View Post
Thinking of going to church for many reasons. Our culture is falling apart, dating isn't working for me, and I'd at least like to find a wife in my lifetime as opposed to dying alone, etc...
Please, don't go to a church to find a wife. You will be sorely disappointed. Churches are good, for many more reasons you cite, but they are not dating clubs. It may happen, but don't go there for that reason.

I'm sorry about what happened in your old church. There are some pretty closed-minded people in a church building, and it is these people who give churches a bad rep.

If you want to find a church home, visit several. Assuming you are considering a Christian church, the most important thing to look for is that they are Biblically based and teach from the Bible. Everything else is "frosting on the cake".

I attend a Vineyard church. Don't care much for the music, but for the first time in my life, during a sermon, I haven't wanted to be somewhere else or wished the thing to be over so I can get out of there. And, I can be as anonymous as I want to be.

Good luck. How old are you?

p.s. On matters of the heart, you have to let them happen naturally and on their own timing. It can't be forced. It usually happens thus, that when one stops looking . . . wham! It happens unexpectedly.
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