Stuck, not sure what to do (Gospel, woman, church, believe)
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While raising my two kids I decided not to date unless I knew for sure he was a man I could spend the rest of my live with. I got saved when I was 28 and did my share of backsliding but I developed a really strong bond with the Lord during those many long years. I went to church 3 times a week, did lots of Bible studies and generally focused on God. Only a few times in over a dozen years I cried out to Him to send me someone so I didn't have to grow old alone. So along came my guy. I'm so crazy about him. When we got reunited (we were in the same Marine squadron in the early 80's) we fell head over heels but I had orders for a 6 month tour. We were in different states and I was so afraid he wouldn't wait for me so I turned back to some worldly ways, thinking that would keep him interested until I got back and we could meet face to face. I truly believe God brought us together and perhaps we were meant for each other way back when except for stupid choices we made that pulled us in different directions. (we were coworkers/acquaintances back then). Well, I didn't trust and obey and I feel like I really screwed things up just by the way I talked to him. I was so desperate not to lose him. I shouldn't have worried. He was crazy about me but I didn't understand.
Fast forward a few years and we are living together. I'm in complete disobedience to God over this and am convicted continuously. I occasionally mention "I wish we were married" but we've both been divorced and he can't get past that. I really don't care about the past. I just wish we were married. I don't feel right living like this.
When we first started talking he recognized we were at two different places in our walk. I told him what I believed (the gospel) and he agreed with that, saying he believed that, too. As a child he posted the 10 commandments on his wall. I know he has some kind of relationship with the Lord but we both know he hasn't surrendered his will completely.
I don't believe God wants me to abandon this relationship. I want to go to church and trust that God will regain control of our lives. I allowed him to lead and we aren't going to church, not that there's a church that will allow us to join. I feel very ashamed when I have to explain we aren't married.
There's an older couple who I think are trying to adopt us. Maybe I should pray for their efforts. I've been frank with them and they visited a second time last Saturday. I went to their church once while my guy was out of town. It's a good church.
I don't know what to do. I think I should just start attending church whether he goes or not. I bought a study Bible today. I want to go Wed night and once Sunday either am or pm.
Any advice?
While raising my two kids I decided not to date unless I knew for sure he was a man I could spend the rest of my live with. I got saved when I was 28 and did my share of backsliding but I developed a really strong bond with the Lord during those many long years. I went to church 3 times a week, did lots of Bible studies and generally focused on God. Only a few times in over a dozen years I cried out to Him to send me someone so I didn't have to grow old alone. So along came my guy. I'm so crazy about him. When we got reunited (we were in the same Marine squadron in the early 80's) we fell head over heels but I had orders for a 6 month tour. We were in different states and I was so afraid he wouldn't wait for me so I turned back to some worldly ways, thinking that would keep him interested until I got back and we could meet face to face. I truly believe God brought us together and perhaps we were meant for each other way back when except for stupid choices we made that pulled us in different directions. (we were coworkers/acquaintances back then). Well, I didn't trust and obey and I feel like I really screwed things up just by the way I talked to him. I was so desperate not to lose him. I shouldn't have worried. He was crazy about me but I didn't understand.
Fast forward a few years and we are living together. I'm in complete disobedience to God over this and am convicted continuously. I occasionally mention "I wish we were married" but we've both been divorced and he can't get past that. I really don't care about the past. I just wish we were married. I don't feel right living like this.
When we first started talking he recognized we were at two different places in our walk. I told him what I believed (the gospel) and he agreed with that, saying he believed that, too. As a child he posted the 10 commandments on his wall. I know he has some kind of relationship with the Lord but we both know he hasn't surrendered his will completely.
I don't believe God wants me to abandon this relationship. I want to go to church and trust that God will regain control of our lives. I allowed him to lead and we aren't going to church, not that there's a church that will allow us to join. I feel very ashamed when I have to explain we aren't married.
There's an older couple who I think are trying to adopt us. Maybe I should pray for their efforts. I've been frank with them and they visited a second time last Saturday. I went to their church once while my guy was out of town. It's a good church.
I don't know what to do. I think I should just start attending church whether he goes or not. I bought a study Bible today. I want to go Wed night and once Sunday either am or pm.
Any advice?
Hi,
Ask your self what good it will do to go to church and knowingly ignore what he says about marriage. Remember what Jesus said to the woman who was immoral? Go and sin no more. Forgiveness and a genuine relationship with God and His son, requires more than just desire. It requires effort and obedience. Plus is he really interested in what God wants or just what he wanted and got?
Easy, no, but God helps those who take the first step .. forward in faith, not back.
Best to keep in touch and pray every day to keep your partner cleansed in Christ and in the plan of Jesus for your life , as You should have supplementary prayer , and let Jesus bring you together .... Just make sure that both divorces has being repented and any ought is forgiven , which means you should never talk of your divorce again as Jesus said ` what is bound on earth will be bound in heaven and what is loosed on earth will be loosed in heaven
I once read prayer by a girl in almost your exact situation, but, unfortunately couldn't find it. A brief paraphrase of it's essence is:
"O God, I want to be faithful and obedient to you, but, I'm in love with this guy and I know he's not a Christian, but, I've just got to have him. So God, please just make what I want your will, so I can feel better about doing what I want ... while still claiming to want to do things your way"
You've said that you don't believe he has completely surrendered his will to God... which may be true, but, it also sounds like you may be in the same boat.
The real issue is not so much about the specific 'act or thing' God wants you to do, but, about you FIRST desiring God's will and way... more than your own. God always wants what is best for you and will give you that (and you will be able to accept it), if you FIRST submit to HIS will.
IMO, the problem here, as evidenced by your lengthy, rambling explanation ... is that you already know this, but, are hoping that somebody will give you a convincing reason to believe that God only wants what you want.
Plus is he really interested in what God wants or just what he wanted and got?
Well, yes, he is interested but he doesn't understand "death to self". I have to be careful not to grumble when he puts himself first. I know it's an ego thing. He's had to provide for his kids and is a great dad. (kids are grown) He's very sensitive about his ability to take care of things. He doesn't see that God wants us to surrender all. He just doesn't quite get the concept.
As far as what he wanted and got... we might have been married now if I hadn't messed things up (I was never led astray except when I was leading myself). He wasn't after something to sleep with.
Just make sure that both divorces has being repented and any ought is forgiven , which means you should never talk of your divorce again as Jesus said ` what is bound on earth will be bound in heaven and what is loosed on earth will be loosed in heaven
We were both cheated on. But he can't get past that. He once said I should regain my maiden name but I kept my married name because of my kids. If I go to the trouble of getting my maiden name back I feel like I will want to keep it. Anyway that's a small detail...
Well, yes, he is interested but he doesn't understand "death to self". I have to be careful not to grumble when he puts himself first. I know it's an ego thing. He's had to provide for his kids and is a great dad. (kids are grown) He's very sensitive about his ability to take care of things. He doesn't see that God wants us to surrender all. He just doesn't quite get the concept.
As far as what he wanted and got... we might have been married now if I hadn't messed things up (I was never led astray except when I was leading myself). He wasn't after something to sleep with.
Hi,
Sounds like a nice father to his children.
What happens when you say lets get married? That would show you where you stand.
Do what you need to do for your relationship and for your children and stop worrying about what "God's rules" may be. Relationships are hard enough without putting all that extra pressure on them. "Rules" are not what your relationship with Christ is about.
What happens when you say lets get married? That would show you where you stand.
We both want this forever. He says he considers me his wife. And he points out the mockery man has made of marriage in the world today as a reason not to respect that institution.
He also goes back to the past we both have, which makes me appreciate the "what is loosed on earth is loosed in heaven" post that was made.
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