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Let me first start off by saying if i had to check a box and pigeonhole myself i would call myself an aethist. Its not something im proud of. Infact i usually hide it. That being said I am no religion bashing , Dawkins worshipping fanatic either. Im not the type of guy to go looking for fights on the internet, nor do i intend to start one here. I want to belive in God. I want there to be a God, nothing would please me more then their being an all powerful entity that loves me beyond measure that i could aspire to serve in any of the most miniscule of ways. But alas it doesnt seem to work for me.
Allow me to interrupt my own train of thought here with some background info. I was born into a deeply religious family throughout all my childhood i was very devoted, perhaps it was childish innocence but it honestly felt like someone was hearing my every prayer and now it feels as though im just speaking to an empty room. Arround highschool i met my first aethists. I befriended them quickly as i was sort of a social pariah. I tried vehemently to convert them. But their arguments where so sound and valid i could not. Infact in many cases they had more answers than I. through some personal problems and a spell of deppresion and being the logical rational person i am i slowly accepted those ideas and arguments because they made sense and didn't involve "unwarranted beliefs"
I am now in my senior year of college, i have reached a point where i dont want to argue anymore, i dont want to fight, i just want to believe.
On occasions, such as tonight, i try to pray earnestly i do it for about a week. Then nothing happens i loose interest and sort of sigh on the inside and go about life.
A month or two ago i actually met with a catholic preist, and he had a story that was strikingly close to mine. So much so that my innitial reaction involving such a strong coincidence was to belive it was the hand of God trying to touch my life. However my rational side turned on a few days later and i said " bad crap happens to everybody talk about it enough and certain similarities must appear"
I remember that Jesus once said something to the effect of (and im paraphrasing here)"whatever you ask to God ,ask it in my name and it will be done" well i did that. I even begged God in the name of jesus to reveal himself to me that i might have cause to believe. And well nothing happens ever. So awkward way to end this i know.......but here i am
Let me first start off by saying if i had to check a box and pigeonhole myself i would call myself an aethist. Its not something im proud of. Infact i usually hide it. That being said I am no religion bashing , Dawkins worshipping fanatic either. Im not the type of guy to go looking for fights on the internet, nor do i intend to start one here. I want to belive in God. I want there to be a God, nothing would please me more then their being an all powerful entity that loves me beyond measure that i could aspire to serve in any of the most miniscule of ways. But alas it doesnt seem to work for me.
Allow me to interrupt my own train of thought here with some background info. I was born into a deeply religious family throughout all my childhood i was very devoted, perhaps it was childish innocence but it honestly felt like someone was hearing my every prayer and now it feels as though im just speaking to an empty room. Arround highschool i met my first aethists. I befriended them quickly as i was sort of a social pariah. I tried vehemently to convert them. But their arguments where so sound and valid i could not. Infact in many cases they had more answers than I. through some personal problems and a spell of deppresion and being the logical rational person i am i slowly accepted those ideas and arguments because they made sense and didn't involve "unwarranted beliefs"
I am now in my senior year of college, i have reached a point where i dont want to argue anymore, i dont want to fight, i just want to believe.
On occasions, such as tonight, i try to pray earnestly i do it for about a week. Then nothing happens i loose interest and sort of sigh on the inside and go about life.
A month or two ago i actually met with a catholic preist, and he had a story that was strikingly close to mine. So much so that my innitial reaction involving such a strong coincidence was to belive it was the hand of God trying to touch my life. However my rational side turned on a few days later and i said " bad crap happens to everybody talk about it enough and certain similarities must appear"
I remember that Jesus once said something to the effect of (and im paraphrasing here)"whatever you ask to God ,ask it in my name and it will be done" well i did that. I even begged God in the name of jesus to reveal himself to me that i might have cause to believe. And well nothing happens ever. So awkward way to end this i know.......but here i am
The story of Neo is correct, it's a rabbit hole once you begin but nobody wants to begin because it is a commitment, but there is really magic.
It's not real ya know, I mean the chains of this body. It is said that the kingdom of heaven is within us and this is true because we have already lived and died.
I hope the fact that your prayers were not heard straight away won't discourage you from continuing. Prayer is so important, and sometimes our patience does get tested, but we should never give up. When we ask for a bread, our Father will not give us a stone, He does love us! There is one female friend that I have talked with for years over issues of faith, she was discouraged at times to pray aswell, quite depressed that she didn't know God. But after years of continuing she finally told me she received Christ. And she is an incredibly happy woman now.
And sometimes God sends people on our path like the catholic Priest, but we have a tough time dealing with our own skeptical mind. I know I used to aswell.
I can tell you from personal experience the Bible is true though, Jesus Christ is the Son of God and Saviour of the world and God is very real, also very Holy and Righteous. Did you ever ask forgiveness for your sins and truly repent? God wants our hearts, faith is not only a mental comprehension of facts, and not only meanth to give us a good feeling. Jesus called us to repent from our sins and believe in Him. Are there any sins you have a hard time leaving? Maybe intellectual pride? I know that's personally my toughest battle. Maybe it will be also helpful to you to know there is evidence out there, Lee strobel was once an atheist that converted to Christianity. He has some very interesting insights if you're interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikxb09pyZwM
The key to finding Jesus Spirit is to repent to Him , as Jesus said we must be born of water and of the spirit from John 3 , and water is the willingness to repent and have the conviction of sin that separate us from God , so the birth in the spirit come when Jesus reviles Himself to us , and then we are called to ask for more of Jesus to compete the promise of His grace for salvation .....Then you will believe with out question .......
Is it for comfort? Security? STATUS? This is an important question to ask yourself.
Some people want to "believe" to avoid the stigma of not being a believer.
Too many evangelical cultists are eager to pounce on someone, blabber some tale about great rewards and life ever-after then they shove this "sinners" prayer into your face, tell you to repeat it and WHAM! all is now good--except that from that moment on the INDOCTRINATION begins..
But I really doubt this is the idea and intent behind the "go forth and make disciples of all the world" speech.
The cultist will say--
I CONFESS with my mouth that Jesus is Lord and BELIEVE in my heart that God raised Him from the dead.
HOW IN THE HELL CAN YOU SAY THIS SINCERELY WHEN YOU HAVE ZERO CLUE WHO THE MAN IS!
Before you or anyone can get sucked down the rabbit hole, we must first KNOW the man and his teachings. This is NOT an overnight, spur of the moment commitment that one just regurgitates a few magical words a and PRESTO CHANGE-O..
Spend TIME learning about the person of Christ--and this is NOT GOING TO BE FOUND IN THE bible. Yes the ancient book is a VERY SMALL piece of your knowledge.
ASK QUESTIONS--the answer is never--OH YE OF LITTLE FAITH, why do you doubt? NOT ACCEPTABLE..You deserve REAL answers, not canned responses and certainly not more regurgitated scripture that cannot stand on its own.
When they stop you from asking QUESTIONS, MOVE ON to more receptive grounds and continue to ask questions. NEVER STOP as questions are the source of all knowledge.
As you read and ask questions, you should start to see who Jesus is and how he influences the world. You will also (hopefully) realize that this influence continues today and not in the way so many others want us to believe.
So Jonatron5, grab a few books, kick back with your favorite beverage and absorb knowledge. QUESTION everything and NEVER accept anything at FACE VALUE.
Searching for God in one tradition might not be the best idea for someone with your beliefs. Do you think that Christians seem to be happier people overall?
Anyway, Jesus's message seemed to be more about our overall actions towards people. I don't find any sort of connection between what the Bible teaches, and what Christians believe or teach. Because it seemed like his message could be applied to anyone regardless of their religious background.
Seek with all your heart, soul, might and mind -- and wait. It took me almost 5 years before Jesus responded to me in my early stages of faith. I was fasting a lot and on my knees praying with sweat pouring out many days. I was desperate for God to respond to my hunger for Him. And, to my utter joy, He responded one day when I was so discouraged. Praise God! I only tell this in hopes of helping a desperate and hungry soul.
Sure you do. I would be worried if you didn't, being an admitted sinner.
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