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Old 11-17-2018, 08:27 AM
 
1,279 posts, read 709,057 times
Reputation: 2051

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Unfortunately one of my good friends- who I always considered a committed Christian- has just had a rough life. My friend let me know that my friend has been praying every day to be dead.

My friend says that suicide is not an option, as my friend believes that suicide will prevent my friend from going to Heaven. (I'm not sure if I agree with that, but that's what my friend says).

So my friend has been praying every day to be dead, and to be dead by the end of this year. My friend has also prayed that death with be pretty quick and painless. My friend says that each prayer mentions that my friend knows that God is not to be tested, and each prayer is a prayer for death "if it's God's will". However, the point is clear: my friend is praying to die. My friend says that there's nothing wrong with simply being honest with God, and leaving requests in God's hands.

My friend is divorced; my friend's spouse cheated, and so my friend had the divorce. No children.

What would you do in this situation? My own interpersonal skills are pretty terrible, so if there is a wrong thing to say or do in this situation, unfortunately surely I'll do it, so I welcome any input.

Thanks.
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Old 11-17-2018, 08:35 AM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA
19,878 posts, read 16,949,038 times
Reputation: 21193
Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppiesandKittens View Post
Unfortunately one of my good friends- who I always considered a committed Christian- has just had a rough life.
My friend let me know that my friend has been praying every day to be dead.

My friend says that suicide is not an option, as my friend believes that suicide will prevent my friend from going to Heaven.
Thanks.
This is very common....a spiritually immature solution to end pain.
I wonder if you could give her counseling? As in,
"You really don't want to be dead, per se....you just want to be released from your pain.
Understandable....let's see how we could eliminate your troubles in this life instead!!"
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Old 11-17-2018, 08:56 AM
 
Location: USA
17,157 posts, read 10,248,822 times
Reputation: 2358
Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppiesandKittens View Post
Unfortunately one of my good friends- who I always considered a committed Christian- has just had a rough life. My friend let me know that my friend has been praying every day to be dead.

My friend says that suicide is not an option, as my friend believes that suicide will prevent my friend from going to Heaven. (I'm not sure if I agree with that, but that's what my friend says).

So my friend has been praying every day to be dead, and to be dead by the end of this year. My friend has also prayed that death with be pretty quick and painless. My friend says that each prayer mentions that my friend knows that God is not to be tested, and each prayer is a prayer for death "if it's God's will". However, the point is clear: my friend is praying to die. My friend says that there's nothing wrong with simply being honest with God, and leaving requests in God's hands.

My friend is divorced; my friend's spouse cheated, and so my friend had the divorce. No children.

What would you do in this situation? My own interpersonal skills are pretty terrible, so if there is a wrong thing to say or do in this situation, unfortunately surely I'll do it, so I welcome any input.

Thanks.
Give her the freedom and space to feel exactly as she does. She’s in pain and praying for death may bring her some relief from that pain and there is nothing wrong with that. Heck, pray with her and ask that not she, but her pain, dies. Because that’s all she really wants: an end to her pain. To have you with her, giving her “permission” and the space to feel exactly as she does without judgment would be a gift and go a long way towards her finding her way, gradually, to a better place.
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Old 11-17-2018, 09:09 AM
 
Location: Ontario, Canada
31,378 posts, read 18,131,778 times
Reputation: 13951
Recommend she speak with a mental health professional. Tell her you'll accompany her to the first appointment, if she would like.
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Old 11-17-2018, 09:16 AM
 
6,518 posts, read 2,226,314 times
Reputation: 335
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleroo View Post
Give her the freedom and space to feel exactly as she does. She’s in pain and praying for death may bring her some relief from that pain and there is nothing wrong with that. Heck, pray with her and ask that not she, but her pain, dies. Because that’s all she really wants: an end to her pain. To have you with her, giving her “permission” and the space to feel exactly as she does without judgment would be a gift and go a long way towards her finding her way, gradually, to a better place.
I love this answer! I would only add that helping her to understand biblical forgiveness and unforgiveness for her EX especially if there was cheating involved .. it just might help her with some pain she is carrying also.
I would also add that she go to some wise Christian councilors and also some prayer warriors at some church near her..
and investigate and pray about the biblical concept of soul ties/ one flesh. and ask the holy spirit to reveal what they are to pray about for her.
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Old 11-17-2018, 09:41 AM
 
Location: USA
17,157 posts, read 10,248,822 times
Reputation: 2358
Also... laughter and enjoyment. If you know what makes your friend laugh (a comedien, a show, whatever) or things she enjoys doing, watch/ do those things with her. The more you help her "practice" feeling good, the better she'll feel. Sometimes we want to make people talk about what's bothering them because we think it will help them to unburden themselves, when really, all that's doing is practicing the painful feelings. If she wants to talk, she will, but let her take the lead on that and if she does, you can give her a more positive perspective about things, perhaps. (But be careful, because that can just be annoying to her if she's not in the frame of mind to receive that.)
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Old 11-17-2018, 01:13 PM
 
Location: Arizona
28,960 posts, read 14,122,143 times
Reputation: 2276
Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppiesandKittens View Post
Unfortunately one of my good friends- who I always considered a committed Christian- has just had a rough life. My friend let me know that my friend has been praying every day to be dead.

My friend says that suicide is not an option, as my friend believes that suicide will prevent my friend from going to Heaven. (I'm not sure if I agree with that, but that's what my friend says).

So my friend has been praying every day to be dead, and to be dead by the end of this year. My friend has also prayed that death with be pretty quick and painless. My friend says that each prayer mentions that my friend knows that God is not to be tested, and each prayer is a prayer for death "if it's God's will". However, the point is clear: my friend is praying to die. My friend says that there's nothing wrong with simply being honest with God, and leaving requests in God's hands.

My friend is divorced; my friend's spouse cheated, and so my friend had the divorce. No children.

What would you do in this situation? My own interpersonal skills are pretty terrible, so if there is a wrong thing to say or do in this situation, unfortunately surely I'll do it, so I welcome any input.

Thanks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleroo View Post
Give her the freedom and space to feel exactly as she does. She’s in pain and praying for death may bring her some relief from that pain and there is nothing wrong with that. Heck, pray with her and ask that not she, but her pain, dies. Because that’s all she really wants: an end to her pain. To have you with her, giving her “permission” and the space to feel exactly as she does without judgment would be a gift and go a long way towards her finding her way, gradually, to a better place.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TroutDude View Post
Recommend she speak with a mental health professional. Tell her you'll accompany her to the first appointment, if she would like.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleroo View Post
Also... laughter and enjoyment. If you know what makes your friend laugh (a comedien, a show, whatever) or things she enjoys doing, watch/ do those things with her. The more you help her "practice" feeling good, the better she'll feel. Sometimes we want to make people talk about what's bothering them because we think it will help them to unburden themselves, when really, all that's doing is practicing the painful feelings. If she wants to talk, she will, but let her take the lead on that and if she does, you can give her a more positive perspective about things, perhaps. (But be careful, because that can just be annoying to her if she's not in the frame of mind to receive that.)
It takes time to heal, after being hurt, and all we can do is support or encourage that person until they can see things for themselves. There is a silver lining over the horizon, it's just not always visible to the naked eye.
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Old 11-17-2018, 04:26 PM
 
9,364 posts, read 8,948,747 times
Reputation: 1748
Actually this prayer to be dead would not be a righteous prayer , and God would not hear this prayer ..... That means the devil will hear this prayer , and if this curse become complete the devil could answer the prayer .... best to repent and turn to Jesus
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Old 11-17-2018, 10:51 PM
 
7,575 posts, read 6,145,721 times
Reputation: 7470
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleroo View Post
Give her the freedom and space to feel exactly as she does. She’s in pain and praying for death may bring her some relief from that pain and there is nothing wrong with that. Heck, pray with her and ask that not she, but her pain, dies. Because that’s all she really wants: an end to her pain. To have you with her, giving her “permission” and the space to feel exactly as she does without judgment would be a gift and go a long way towards her finding her way, gradually, to a better place.
Been sitting here for several minutes just trying to express what a wonderful post this is. I just have to say:

Man, what beautiful and caring advice. Truly.
You see very deeply into things, Pleroo.

I hope your advice is heeded.
It's perfect.
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Old 11-18-2018, 01:03 AM
 
59,406 posts, read 35,113,292 times
Reputation: 7176
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleroo View Post
Give her the freedom and space to feel exactly as she does. She’s in pain and praying for death may bring her some relief from that pain and there is nothing wrong with that. Heck, pray with her and ask that not she, but her pain, dies. Because that’s all she really wants: an end to her pain. To have you with her, giving her “permission” and the space to feel exactly as she does without judgment would be a gift and go a long way towards her finding her way, gradually, to a better place.


Quote:
Originally Posted by .sparrow. View Post
Been sitting here for several minutes just trying to express what a wonderful post this is. I just have to say:

Man, what beautiful and caring advice. Truly.
You see very deeply into things, Pleroo.

I hope your advice is heeded.
It's perfect.
I couldn't agree more!
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