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Old 07-23-2019, 12:51 PM
 
Location: Anderson, IN
6,855 posts, read 2,843,045 times
Reputation: 4194

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Quote:
Originally Posted by QuakerBaker View Post
Please be nice to FinnJarber....FinnJarber was trying to help me.


Luke 6:31 "Treat others the same way you want them to treat you."


Your girl in the photo looks absolutely mesmerizing...because she's got the pretzel all tied up in knots.





I love God. I am "a theist" not an "atheist." I wouldn't feel right doing that.





Thanks for your input. I am actually pretty nice, I know it is a bit weird to date a guy who is that much older. But I am not a total weirdo. I've known his father for a few years....he owns the business I work for and he is kind of like my mentor....and my boyfriend has never tried to pressure me into you know....past boyfriends have...he hasn't...I am planning on waiting for marriage as of now anyways.... He is very educated, polite, service orientated, and has a large income...so it is not like he is some creepy guy in a back alley.





Okay, sorry for unloading there. I just have some anxiety issues on occasion is all. I'll need more therapy if I visit the politics board again.




Thanks, you are so kind and thoughtful!

I have anxiety issues too.



You are so sweet and kind. Stay out of the Politics board, it will corrupt you, it can be worse than 4chan up in there (it's a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad site. Don't even Google it)


There's nothing wrong with dating an older guy. An older guy has usually gotten more settled in life, and he's not going to try and pressure you into sex. I dated an atheist for several months. It ended up not working out due to distance, but he was a very sweet guy, and I still miss him sometimes. Some of the posters in your thread seem to be concerned about him "pulling you over to the dark side" or something, if one's faith is strong enough and one is secure in her faith that can't happen. I've been pretty badly treated by other Christians, and even that cruelty wasn't enough to separate me from Him.



Pardon the shameless plug, but have you heard of Micah Bales? He's a Quaker pastor, I love him, he blogs right here.
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Old 07-23-2019, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Southern Oregon
17,071 posts, read 10,912,231 times
Reputation: 1874
I realize you love God, OP, my point is that God is bigger than you realize.
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Old 07-23-2019, 03:20 PM
 
Location: Southern Oregon
17,071 posts, read 10,912,231 times
Reputation: 1874
Good plug, geeki, Micah is really a good Friend.
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Old 07-23-2019, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Anderson, IN
6,855 posts, read 2,843,045 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nateswift View Post
Good plug, geeki, Micah is really a good Friend.



Thanks! Yep, he's amazing.
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Old 08-09-2019, 09:27 PM
 
1 posts, read 326 times
Reputation: 13
I'm sure your boyfriend is a very kind, good person. Many unbelievers are! In fact some unbelievers are probably alot nicer than some believers, which is kind of sad. And its awesome that he's willing to be flexible about raising your kids in a Christian environment. The Bible doesn't specifically talk about dating unbelievers. However, when it comes to marriage, I believe the Bible is clear. 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 says "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and [Satan]? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?"

The picture is of a little ox and a big ox yoked together pulling a wagon or plow. Or in modern terms a car with huge monster truck tires on one side and little tricycle wheels on the other. It's not going to work, at least not the way it should. Christians and unbelievers share very different views of the world, different goals in life. Marrying an unbeliever could cause alot of tension or, on the flip side could result in painful compromises that make no one truly happy and might force you to compromise your core beliefs. As someone said, your husband might be cool with you being a Christian and the kids going to church and learning about God, but he's not going to help you in this goal, might not go to church with you, and there's no guarantee that if he does, that he will buy into it. And he's going to influence your kids (not to mention you) through what he believes and says and does. The same goes for other decisions. He's going to look at things through the world's eyes, and you're going to look at things through God's eyes. Those points-of-view at some point will differ. He might be an easy-going guy and concede every time to your view, but ultimately that's kind of a miserable way to live, just being a yes-man. At some point there's probably going to be conflict.

As others pointed out 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 does encourage believers who are married to unbelievers to stay with them if the unbeliever is willing to stay. But it doesn't say "It's okay to marry an unbeliever", it says "don't divorce them" unless your spouse wants to get divorced (or other circumstances like cheating, abuse, etc.). In other words, the Bible basically says "Don't marry an unbeliever, but if you are already married to an unbeliever, really try to make it work, don't just throw this sacred relationship away." You could have a good influence on them and certainly on your children (v.14 & 16). But that doesn't mean it will be easy, and there's no guarantee, sadly, that they will change. So marriage to an unbeliever is not what God wants for us, but he also doesn't want to split up existing marriages.

I'm not saying "You need to break up with you boyfriend right now!" I'm saying this is what the Bible says about marriage, which it sounds like you're considering as a down-the-road possibility. Your current situation is tough--certainly inviting him to a (Bible-believing) church can't be bad thing. But you might want to examine where this relationship is going (if there's a possibility of marriage, would that be something that, your boyfriend was still an unbeliever, you would be willing to do; and if not, what's the point of dating?) and whether you want to keep going down that road I know that's tough, but marriage, and the dating that leads up to it, is a really important life decision, as you already seem to recognize. Also, I would say be careful that he doesn't just agree to be Christian if he doesn't truly believe it, if he's just doing it to make you happy or as prerequisite for marriage. It has to be his choice, he has to really believe it on his own.

As for what church to invite him to, I personally don't go to a Quaker or Presbyterian church (which doesn't mean that these churches are bad) and sometimes different churches within the same denomination believe different things. What all believers have to ask themselves are, does this church congregation believe that the Bible is God's Word and the most reliable source of truth (more reliable than church tradition or human reason or a vague "inner light" inside all people)?, and does what it believes line up with what the Bible says (things like salvation by grace through faith not works (Eph. 2:8-9), the "sufficiency" (reliability) of the Bible (2 Tim. 3:16), & salvation through faith in Jesus alone not other religions or ourselves (Acts 4:12))? Also, does the preaching and teaching here help me grow in my relationship with God? If both churches meet those criteria, then maybe whatever he feels most comfortable with would be best(?)

Sorry that's alot but I wanted to answer your questions in detail.
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Old 08-10-2019, 06:07 AM
 
Location: New Yawk
9,196 posts, read 7,227,000 times
Reputation: 15315
Quote:
Originally Posted by QuakerBaker View Post


I love God. I am "a theist" not an "atheist." I wouldn't feel right doing that.
Respectfully: as a nontheist Friend (married to a Christian), I want to point out that nontheism and atheism are not quite the same.

[url=http://www.nontheistfriends.org/article/what-is-a-nontheist]What is a Nontheist? | NontheistFriends.org[/url]
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Old 08-10-2019, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Southern Oregon
17,071 posts, read 10,912,231 times
Reputation: 1874
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ginge McFantaPants View Post
Respectfully: as a nontheist Friend (married to a Christian), I want to point out that nontheism and atheism are not quite the same.

What is a Nontheist? | NontheistFriends.org
Thank you. That puts a little better direction to my hint that our baker Friend might want to broaden her perception of "God." My sketchy acquaintance with Mr. Riemerman's work has been a blessing to me.
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Old 08-11-2019, 09:42 AM
 
146 posts, read 67,678 times
Reputation: 37
Truly, the best place to take him is where God is manifesting Himself in a powerful way.
Like in foreign countries where the people are open to the Truth and desperate.
God proves Himself in miraculous ways to these types of people.
If you take him to a spiritually dead church, he will remain likewise.
Good luck, and may God bless you!
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Old 08-11-2019, 01:52 PM
 
Location: NSW
3,797 posts, read 2,992,667 times
Reputation: 1367
As pointed out by zpeelman, you cannot get divorced on the grounds of being "unequally yoked".
Of course, getting married is a long way off, although many Christians do get married young due to not being able to form de facto or cohabitation relationships.
If the OP is worried about raising kids that are atheists, I think that is too far to worry about, and that often the less religious partner of a marriage is indifferent about what the kids believe in.
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