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I'm sorry if that title is crappy .. I don't know what else to call this thread.
This thread isn't a complaint, but I'm just curious and interested in what the single Christian men think (and, of course, married Christian men and women are more than welcome to weigh in!).
I live in an area of California where there are plenty of conservative Christians and homeschoolers. Most of the married friends (many of whom are ex-homeschoolers) I know got married in their early 20s and were ready to start a family ASAP. Typically, education hasn't been too important to these ladies (not a critique but an observation).
Sometimes I get the impression single, Christian men want to date/marry women who are ready to start a family ASAP. Maybe these family-ready ladies are more available than those chickas who wants to get an education?
I ask this question because I am in the education camp. I am 28, with my MA, and starting my PhD in the Fall. No, I am not a dorky person. I just happen to have always wanted to teach in a university. And I probably will be a mom in the future. I just don't want to be one right now.
I've noticed that non-Christian guys line up to date me (which is a no-go), but I haven't had a Christian guy interested in me for years.
There could be multiple factors, here ...
Of course, to be fair, I rarely meet Christian guys in my department.
I'm not saying that guys are intimidated by a chick with a BA. Obviously, that isn't true.
When I walk around the halls of faculty offices, so many profs are single.
Yes, school has been an overwhelming priority. And, yes, I probably haven't had enough time to socialize.
I'm sorry if these thoughts are random; they are a little jumbled in my head.
I'd just like some perspective. Thanks.
All I can say is "Flesh, Flesh, Flesh, and Carnal
We need to do a true believer check" litmus test"
We're supposed to be on the same team"
Satan knows that a house divided cannot stand"
Nothing has changed
my $.02 cents
God Bless
Location: THEN: Paso Robles, Ca * NOW: Albuquerque, NM
519 posts, read 1,697,338 times
Reputation: 262
Quote:
Originally Posted by freebird22
Ready for something really not PC? I get so PO'ed over this sentiment about the "high calling" of a woman who doesn't work and only takes care of her family, a) as if that were all she were capable of and "can't handle" any more, b) that a male figure has to "convince" a woman of how "high" of a calling it is, as if it makes up for the fact that she "can't" work outside the home (of course... having children is the biggest blessing there is, in fact, only a female who has birthed a child knows this, you're not telling the female race anything new, we know better than males), c) and guess what? children actually need their fathers (science proves it) to be more central in raising them and this doesn't happen if the male is always away from the home "providing" yet not really participating much in his children's social and psychological development. This is why equality makes sense. Partnership makes sense.
Well said. I think it is often forgotten (or ignored) that many women in the Bible were capable, working mothers/wives respected in their homes and within the city gates: Ruth, Lydia, Deborah, Esther, Priscilla, Proverbs 31 woman, et al. What I am suggesting through these examples is that there were godly women, set as examples, who were hard workers inside and outside their homes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nero777
In regards to the OP's original question, I really don't see a problem with you getting an education before having a family, nor am I in the slightest bit intimidated that you are working to have a PhD, an accomplishment without measure. I find it great that you want to expand your mind and reach beyond normal limitations. Like several others have said on this thread, I believe that as a Christian woman, and a potential wife and mother, you should put God first, then your family, and then your job. The same goes for the men as well. I do stress putting family before work because when you do have kids, you will not want to miss one second of them growing up nor would you want to spend your life teaching and grading knowing that you were missing oppurtunities to share in the greatest moments of your kids' lives. I've seen to many families crumble because of neglecting parents and as long as you have family before work, then go for that PhD and become something more. You'll find the right guy, you just have to trust that God knows what He is doing is in your best interest=)
Thanks for your encouragement. I agree with everything you've said. =)
Location: THEN: Paso Robles, Ca * NOW: Albuquerque, NM
519 posts, read 1,697,338 times
Reputation: 262
Quote:
Originally Posted by Macbeth2003
And to the OP there are lots of Christian men who value their wife being educated, who value their wife being an equal.
How specific are your requirements? Do you require the husband to be the same denomination as yourself,(and which one is that) or just Christian. Speaking as an Episcopalian I can guarantee you your education would be a plus not a minus to many Episcopal men.
My requirements are not specific, but I do have deal breakers. I'm not sure denomination would be a deal breaker, but doctrine essentials would be. But it hasn't even gotten to that point ... at least in the community I grew up in, most Christians were very conservative (women were raised with long hair, dresses; drums aren't from the Lord, etc.). And most of these girls were married by 18 and now have five kids. Where me, the academic, garnered no interest whatsoever. And maybe because I had/have a (invisible) sign attached to my forehead saying, "No kids until mid-30s" or something like that. lol. Maybe I've been living in too small of a pond.
I've been raised non-denominational but spent time with Calvary Chapel, Assembly of God and Baptist. As I have moved to Albuquerque for my PhD, I am attending the Calvary Chapel here.
Please do tell how you interpret the verses I posted? People choose to read into things what they want or just blatantly ignore the Word of God.
Easilly like most people I do NOT view the Bible as the literal word of God, but words written in a specific time frame, by specific men, to a specific audience, An attempt to contain the wonder of God they felt in mere words, and hampered by their own prejudices. This is hardly a novel view
The majority has always been wrong. Do we forget about Noah and Lot etc.? Around 80% of Americans think they are christians. It is not so, those that do the Father's will are His. Many are called but few chosen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnOurWay2MO
Most families will not live on a single income anymore because of greed. We manage just fine making sacrifices and not living as the world does. We buy what we need not whatever we want.
Simply not true, or factually supportable. If all goes well you are right, but On unexpected illness, one unexpected Disaster, and everything goes to pot.
Lets see. I live quite simply. I have a very inexpensive one bedroom with study apartment, my wife and I use the small study as a bedroom, and my son has the actual bedroom. We have two cars (public transit is not possible in Dallas, going to the grocery store would literally take 90 minutes each way. Food would spoil in the Dallas heat. One 2005 Scion XB (I have to have a reliable car for my job) and one 1995 Jeep (bought because it ran and was cheap. By the time we pay Bills, buy food, pay insurance, we pretty much zero out our bank balance. I once made considerably more, but my industry is quite depressed in the current economy? How do we work things so she quits her job?
QUOTE=OnOurWay2MO;4869795]
There are families out there that live on less than $40K a year with 10+ children my friend, it is a choice.[/quote]
Which seems unbelievable irresponsible, if it is a choice (I understand things can happen that drastically reduce someone's income. Let's say five kids are injured in a car wreck(easily possible with ten kids- one collision could do it). The hospital bills could not possibly be paid on that salary meaning either kids aren't treated, or they are treated at government (read yours mine and everyone else's) expense
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnOurWay2MO
Ya wanna know why 50% of so called "christian" marriages end in divorce? Because they have left the Father's will! What you sow you will reap. Many are still married in God's eyes and don't even know it.
Ludicrous. Things can happen. Let me give you an example. Growing up we had a couple that were family friends. Deeply religious (much more so than my family). The husband was struck on the head by a pipe that fell from scaffolding. As a result he underwent a complete personality change, left his wife, left his family, was inly borderline sane. If she had not been educated and prepared she would have had no recourse. It had nothing to do with their marriage not being Christian it was an unforseen outside event.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnOurWay2MO
Please do tell how you interpret the verses I posted? People choose to read into things what they want or just blatantly ignore the Word of God.
Easilly like most people I do NOT view the Bible as the literal word of God, but words written in a specific time frame, by specific men, to a specific audience, An attempt to contain the wonder of God they felt in mere words, and hampered by their own prejudices. This is hardly a novel view
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnOurWay2MO
Most families will not live on a single income anymore because of greed. We manage just fine making sacrifices and not living as the world does. We buy what we need not whatever we want.
Simply not true, or factually supportable. If all goes well you are right, but On unexpected illness, one unexpected Disaster, and everything goes to pot.
Lets see. I live quite simply. I have a very inexpensive one bedroom with study apartment, my wife and I use the small study as a bedroom, and my son has the actual bedroom. We have two cars (public transit is not possible in Dallas, going to the grocery store would literally take 90 minutes each way. Food would spoil in the Dallas heat. One 2005 Scion XB (I have to have a reliable car for my job) and one 1995 Jeep (bought because it ran and was cheap. By the time we pay Bills, buy food, pay insurance, we pretty much zero out our bank balance. I once made considerably more, but my industry is quite depressed in the current economy? How do we work things so she quits her job?
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnOurWay2MO
There are families out there that live on less than $40K a year with 10+ children my friend, it is a choice.
Which seems unbelievable irresponsible, if it is a choice (I understand things can happen that drastically reduce someone's income.) Let's say five kids are injured in a car wreck(easily possible with ten kids- one collision could do it). The hospital bills could not possibly be paid on that salary meaning either kids aren't treated, or they are treated at government (read yours mine and everyone else's) expense
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnOurWay2MO
All you are saying is your opinion, let's read what the Word of God says please. Where do you see that a marriage relationship is equal? It is the same picture we see with Christ and His bride, are we (the body of Believers) equal with Christ? He is the head just as the husband is the head of the wife.
What a comfort and glorious creation our God made.
First century writings for first century eyes, containing first century prejudices. Like most Christians (based on international numbers) i do not believe in the Bible literally.
Last edited by Macbeth2003; 08-17-2008 at 02:18 PM..
Reason: To fix Quote tags
I've been raised non-denominational but spent time with Calvary Chapel, Assembly of God and Baptist. As I have moved to Albuquerque for my PhD, I am attending the Calvary Chapel here.
Well I certainly know lots of educated Baptist women who have nor trouble getting dates, and many who did not marry until their 30's.
I might try figuring out which denominations you would be comfortable marrying someone from, and trying to date form those pools. Many, even quite conservative, denominations will be filled with people who value the type of choices you are making, and more mainstream, and liberal ones will be as well. Just figure out how fare you are comfortable expanding the pool of denominations
(To quote Macbeth) "Easilly like most people I do NOT view the Bible as the literal word of God, but words written in a specific time frame, by specific men, to a specific audience, An attempt to contain the wonder of God they felt in mere words, and hampered by their own prejudices. This is hardly a novel view"
2Ti 3:16All scripture [is] given by inspiration of God, and [is] profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
(To quote Macbeth) "Easilly like most people I do NOT view the Bible as the literal word of God, but words written in a specific time frame, by specific men, to a specific audience, An attempt to contain the wonder of God they felt in mere words, and hampered by their own prejudices. This is hardly a novel view"
2Ti 3:16All scripture [is] given by inspiration of God, and [is] profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
Ahh but one cannot quote a source to confirm the same source. That was also written in a certain time to certain people. from a certain viewpoint. Religion has always taken into account that times change and "rules" change with the times. If you'd like a scripture reference used by many theologians to underline that point, I can find one for you.
Matthew 19:8 (NIRV) Jesus replied, "Moses let you divorce your wives because you were stubborn. But it was not this way from the beginning
many have interpreted that to show that the world of men does affect the rules of what a man or woman should not do. The condition of men can lead to a "change" in the rules. Again this is interesting, but it also my point that quoting a document someone does not take literally, to convince them to take it literally is circular. Only fundamentalist (I don't use this pejoratively merely descriptively) usually accept the Bible as literally true, and the only source for divine guidance. Many protestant faiths accept it as the sole source without taking it literally, and of course we Anglicans (and Catholics, Orthodox, etc) have never gotten behind Sola Scriptura no matter how one interprets the Bible. My point being how one iterperts a verse is important, but equally important is how one views the Bible as a whole.
My second point is some theologians who take the Bible literally take the above verse to suggest that the world and the people in it are an influence to be considered as well. That, as I said rules can change.
I used that expression the other day and my five year old had no idea what I meant. Parks don't have merry go rounds anymore
I better inform my local park of that then lol. Guess they have'nt caught up with the no merry go round trend.
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I just happen to have always wanted to teach in a university. And I probably will be a mom in the future. I just don't want to be one right now.
