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OK. I'm opening up here folks to a very personal matter. I need a Christian perspective on this. Have you ever been written off by a loved one? Have you ever had a loved one tell you they were through with you and that God knew their heart and they felt they had a clear conscience? What did you do? How did you react? Do you feel this is Godly? Would God turn his back on you like this? Even if you haven't had this happen to you, your thoughts would also be appreciated. Thank you.
Last edited by PG77; 07-31-2008 at 09:09 AM..
Reason: rewording
Yes, I have cut all my ties with my brother.
For 20+ years I've tried to make him see the light, but after my father's funeral he is dead to me. After my father's death it became clear to me that my brother will never change and that he will always only act in his own best self-interest.
So I realised that it would be better to cut all my ties with him.
After years of struggling to keep some kind of relationship going with my folks, I guess we wrote each other off. Some of it hearkens back to over 25 years ago, (they never entirely forgave me for some of my behavior, though I did, earnestly, ask for their forgiveness). The majority of the problem is because they cannot accept the fact that my daughter married a Puerto Rican young man, nevermind the fact that he is a great guy, loves her to pieces, and treats her, and their two sons, wonderfully. They no longer accept her as their granddaughter, nor do they accept their two great-grandsons, and they absolutely believe they are in the right, even to the point of quoting/twisting scripture, to prove their point. And, that's where I drew the line.
They made it clear that they wanted nothing to do with me, or mine, (they flat-out told me not to contact them again, unless I "repented", whatever that means), so I have nothing to do with them. I have not spoken to them, or written to them, in almost three years, (but, considering the fact that I haven't seen them in over 25 years, I suppose it's not such a big loss). I still care about them, and I certainly wish them no ill, but I will not subject myself, or any of my family members to such nonsense. On occasion, it still bothers me, (they are still my parents, and we did have some good times, when I was a kid), and I know that it will probably upset me, when someday they die, and we didn't make amends, but I simply will not allow them to talk to me, or my family, with such racist disrespect.
PG, I know exactly what you are going through because I've been there.
It is definitely not God-like to be separated from family or relatives, but I've learned that it can be in our best interest to not have a relationship with everyone just because we are blood relatives. They are capable of causing us so much pain and keeping us down when they have us there. Somehow, just because you're related, they feel they can say anything to you or use you or "put you in your place", etc.
I know it hurts, but there may be times it's best to just try to go on with your own life. Unfortunately, we can't force someone to love us and accept us for who we are. We don't need to hear about our past mistakes or be reprimanded for the way we are now. I've been attacked for something so simple as my choice in voting or my choice to be a vegetarian. I don't mean just questioned, I'm talking about being interrogated and when my responses weren't sufficient~I've been ridiculed and told how wrong I am, ONCE AGAIN. There are actually a couple of relatives who have pretty much written me off because I just don't listen to them or obey them or think like them. I stayed silent for years, but decided it was time that I be allowed to be the person that I am and not be under the scrutiny and orders of someone else just because we were relatives.
I've been treated much nicer and more respectfully by others then I have been with certain people that I share blood with. I know some of the awful things you've been going through and it just hurts me to think of how she figured it was the time to "straighten you out" or "make you see the light", etc. It is a time for kind words and encouragement. If she wants to hide behind the curtain of "I'm doing this for your own good" and "I'M the one who is right with God", etc., that's her problem. The things she has said to you and done to you are by no means Godly in the least.
I know how hard this is for you and I realize we always have to question ourselves and our actions. But after doing this time and time again, we have to come to the realization that maybe it isn't US. WE aren't the ones who are always in the wrong. We don't deserve to be treated like dirt.
Our only consolation in this is that God loves us and would never turn his back on us. Just remember that if you were the only person to ever live on earth, Jesus would've sacrificed his life for you. He loves you that much.
You're welcome. Something that keeps popping into my mind is the fact that maybe it's just easier for her to harden her heart right now and write you off rather then to actually try to help you. It doesn't show much for her character, but it happens.
You're welcome. Something that keeps popping into my mind is the fact that maybe it's just easier for her to harden her heart right now and write you off rather then to actually try to help you. It doesn't show much for her character, but it happens.
You are probably right because she has done that on other things.
God is immutable,He is always there for us,Hie is a loving and forgiving Giod. God is the only one that can see the true heart of a person, we as humans only see the outer appearance.As Christians we should forgive others for their wrongdoings and not bottle resentments up inside of us as it is not good for the soul.
We are only on this Earth for a short period of time,so we need to be concerned for others welfare,take their problems off of them and put it on our shoulders. We want to make sure that they know the Lord and have the assurance of salvation,so they can lead other people to the Lord.
It is all about being like God and wanting to walk in His way,having Heavenly aspirations and having the love of the Lord in our heart that we want others to have this same feeling that others attain the Kingdom of Heaven
Last edited by noland123; 07-31-2008 at 11:09 AM..
God is immutable,He is always there for us,Hie is a loving and forgiving Giod. God is the only one that can see the true heart of a person, we as humans only see the outer appearance.As Christians we should forgive others for their wrongdoings and not bottle resentments up inside of us as it is not good for the soul.
We are only on this Earth for a short period of time,so we need to be concerned for others welfare,take their problems off of them and put it on our shoulders. We want to make sure that they know the Lord and have the assurance of salvation,so they can lead other people to the Lord.
What if you forgive them and they say forgive me but I am through with you?
Our only consolation in this is that God loves us and would never turn his back on us. Just remember that if you were the only person to ever live on earth, Jesus would've sacrificed his life for you. He loves you that much.
This is so true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think it's awful that some of you have been shunned by family, I do not believe this is right. I would NEVER do this to family or friends, I don't always agree with some of their choices, but I still love them and I would never turn my back on them. CelticLady I have heard your story before and it breaks my heart.
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Yes, I have cut all my ties with my brother.
After my father's death it became clear to me that my brother will never change and that he will always only act in his own best self-interest. 
Some of it hearkens back to over 25 years ago, (they never entirely forgave me for some of my behavior, though I did, earnestly, ask for their forgiveness). The majority of the problem is because they cannot accept the fact that my daughter married a Puerto Rican young man, nevermind the fact that he is a great guy, loves her to pieces, and treats her, and their two sons, wonderfully. They no longer accept her as their granddaughter, nor do they accept their two great-grandsons, and they absolutely believe they are in the right, even to the point of quoting/twisting scripture, to prove their point. And, that's where I drew the line. 
