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This is what bothers me the MOST! That one sentence... This is just a confirmation that your believes are out of fear. Isn't it so??
If you consider someone to respect you out of fear, then you are not doing your job. This is wrong in so many levels..... Respect should never be out of fear. Sorry, i couldn't disagree with you any more on your answer.
I only used the word "fear" because that is the way the Bible verse reads that I was referring to.. the real meaning is "respect". Sorry for the unclarity! I teach my children to love God, not to be afraid of Him.
Driftwoodpoint I am so glad you posted this:
Quote:
I always thought about the verse that says, "train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." In the Greek it says, "train up a child in the way he is already going..."
End of quote.
I have felt for a very long time that this verse is misused. I like to paraphrase it: "If you bring up a child in the way he wants to go, he will continue doing so."
I have seen this happen over and over. The child that is allowed to do as he/she pleases, will continue doing as he/she pleases. This is just the opposite of the bringing up that is too strict ,
"and you, fathers,do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." Eph. 6.4 ( NKJV)
Oh I agree. I did not mean the child can just go and do as he pleases. The word "discipline" comes from the word disciple which means teacher/teaching. The motive of disciplining your child should be teaching. I understood that verse to mean "in the way he is already going" to be that he has certain gifts, talents, bents and you work with who your child is and direct their paths from there. One of our children was very artistic and believe me did not think like the rest of them. So we worked, with his artisitic personality, in our direction and training of him.
And I very much agree parents can be too harsh or strict. We want our children to understand how very much God loves them but God also wants us to be our very best and try to, with His help, live our lives to glorify Him. I always made sure my kids knew, and they did, that none of us are perfect but that God forgives us and is there to help us get back on track.
I only used the word "fear" because that is the way the Bible verse reads that I was referring to.. the real meaning is "respect". Sorry for the unclarity! I teach my children to love God, not to be afraid of Him.
Ok, thank you for the explanation. But then again, as you said, verse reads "fear", so how did you interpreted this as love/respect? Could this verse actually be what it is without changing a meaning of it?
This is what bothers me the MOST! That one sentence... This is just a confirmation that your believes are out of fear. Isn't it so??
If you consider someone to respect you out of fear, then you are not doing your job. This is wrong in so many levels..... Respect should never be out of fear. Sorry, i couldn't disagree with you any more on your answer.
Alpha, thank you for your explanation. I can clearly see your point. While i look at child upbringing from a human point of view, i can see how Christian can see if from God's.
Cheers!!
It's not fear as in being afraid of, but respect. You're right you won't respect anyone you're afraid of.
Ok, thank you for the explanation. But then again, as you said, verse reads "fear", so how did you interpreted this as love/respect? Could this verse actually be what it is without changing a meaning of it?
Just like gay use to mean happy, joyful.
Fear use to mean, in awe of, in reverence to. It did not mean to be afraid.
I've been thinking about Christians and Christian homes.
What do you do with your kids, spiritually speaking?
How do you teach them? Train them?
What should we be doing?
If the temple of God is us (and it is), are there things in our lives we'd never do 'in church'?
Your thoughts?
Wow. A lot to think about and a lot to reflect upon. I agree with the verses others posted here and I try my best to abide by them: Prov. 22:6 - Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Eph. 6:4- Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
I have two kids - a son, aged 14, and a daughter who'll be 13 in 7 days! They have both professed a belief in Jesus, a desire to follow Him and have been baptized. (As an aside, my 15 yr old nephew {sister's son} has just returned from Mission Camp. He has decided to become a missionary!)
I know I am human and I know I fall short in areas, esp. patience and temper/anger. I tend to at times anger easily. When I do and I know I'm wrong, I apologize to my kids for my behavior. God is helping me in this area, but I still need improvement. This is an important area for me because I agree with others that modeling the proper behavior is very important. "Actions speak louder than words" is a phrase my mother used on me and my 5 siblings all the time. That's why I try to refrain from talking my kids to death, as it were, and let my behavior do the talking.
When I do correct my children, I explain why using biblical principles as often as possible. I explain the meaning behind the verse(s) that apply. Why we should be honest even when no one is watching; Why "hate" is a four-letter word in our home; Why saying/doing mean, hurtful things is wrong. And keeping with what I said above, I try to keep it short and concise because after 2 minutes they basically tune out anyway.
As for training up spiritually -- We have had independent bible study. Basically, we'll all read passages or a chapter independently, but then come together as a family and discuss its meaning and what we gleaned from it. I'm hoping this is building in them the ability to review and test what is taught them or what they may be exposed to outside my presence/oversight against scripture. To learn how to seek guidance from the Holy Spirit in understanding God's word. To lean on God for understanding and not necessarily only man's opinion. And prayer, lots and lots of prayer.
Also, I take opportunities to reinforce our Christian worldview/beliefs/moral foundation. When we see commercials or shows or movies, etc. etc. we discuss them and whether it brings honor and glory to God or not and if not, why not. I tell my kids I am always here for them, no matter what and no matter what they do in their lives, I will always love them. That will never change. I may get angry or may be disappointed, but never will I stop loving them.
I tell my kids I am always available to answer any questions they might have about their own faith or why I believe what I believe. Then we might test it against scripture to reinforce that it's God's way, not dad or mom's way. We get lots of questions. Because mom being a former Catholic and basically the rest of her family still being Catholic, we get tons of questions about right or wrong practices/doctrine/belief systems.
It seems like a lot written out like this, but really it's not. I feel as though I don't do enough. But I see it as a daily battle trying to keep them on the narrow road and off the wide, worldly road.
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A chronology of a long journey
Being from a non-Christian home myself, I had absolutely no idea 16 years ago how to train up a child regarding spirituality. Since my husband and I are voracious readers, it was only natural to surround my daughter with a wide variety of excellent children's books, including ones with Christian themes. I found it interesting, as she got old enough to choose which books we'd be reading, that her favorite books were the Christian ones. (We had far more "secular" books.) That convinced me that children have a hunger and thirst for things of God.
Still, I didn't have many ideas of how to share spiritual thoughts. I found some answers in a daily devotional book (I generally don't read them!) that showed families in real life situations using teachable moments to share a truth from God's Word. Finally, I had some solid ideas. About that same time, I started teaching Sunday School for toddlers, so I started getting ideas from a wide variety of resources. Since I utilized lots of creative ideas with my S.S. toddlers, I didn't go overboard at home. We still read fun books and utilized teachable moments.
Then, I started homeschooling my daughter. I took the advice of my pastor's wife and didn't include a Bible lesson in our homeschool for fear that it would be pushing things. In retrospect, I think that was the biggest mistake I could have made. (Without going into detail, I'll say that on our second day of our homeschool adventure, God impressed upon me in a very real and painful way that I was in a battle for my child's mind. That was a sobering thought.) As for sharing my beliefs and biblical principles, we stuck with the status quo as far as home life went. However, my daughter got the benefit of my teaching Sunday School to elementary children. Let's just say that God has gifted me in teaching; children remember my Sunday School lessons!
For our second year of homeschooling, I found a great Bible curriculum that had fun and interesting lessons combined with a workbook. The lesson took usually took 5-15 minutes, then my daughter would utilize her best handwriting and copy that day's Bible Lesson Truth into a book she had created. While she was drawing and decorating the pages in this book, I spent the down time actually reading aloud the Bible passage that was relevant to the lesson. Because this was a daily curriculum, my daughter was exposed to Bible stories that are rarely heard in Sunday School or church. She absolutely loved our daily Bible time. (I've heard many children say their favorite part of their Christian education was Bible class!)
With the addition of Bible curriculum, I now had a more consistent pattern for sharing God's Word with my child. When we finished that curriculum during Junior High, I decided it was time to switch gears. Knowing I only had a few years left before my daughter likely left for college, I was convicted of the need to make sure she had heard the entire Bible. So we set aside 30 minutes a day to read from a Chronological Bible, taking breaks to discuss particular items of interest. We were easily able to read through the entire Bible during a single school year, skipping days here and there.
My daughter and I have had a fantastic journey getting to know God's Word together! I can't even begin to describe most of the conversations we've had during Bible time. I truly and sincerely have to give thanks to the Holy Spirit for the inspiration that I've been given during this time, and also for the insights my daughter has shared. Getting to know the Bible has helped us to translate that knowledge into daily living and given us an avenue to evaluate other information to which we are exposed. Often when learning about history, literature, science, geography, crafts, etc., God has opened a door for deeper discussion.
For the last two years, our school experience has included about one hour a week to discuss current events. This subject encompasses anything from the completely silly to the deadly serious. I generally find articles either in magazines, newspapers, or on the internet to discuss. Sometimes, dd brings up things she's heard about. During our discussions, we take note of things like author bias, logical argument, cultural trends, emotional manipulation, etc. If watching a video, we pay attention to speech patterns, body language, delivery, graphics, etc. We discuss what we read or see in light of the body of knowledge we've already accumulated and, if appropriate, in light of God's Word. My daughter always has the first say in these discussions because I want her to realize she is definitely old enough to do her own thinking and to have opinions that differ from mine. I want to challenge her to actually think about what she sees and hears, and I want to encourage her to be bold enough to articulate her observations and opinions. I also want her to realize that she already possesses the skills to evaluate what is presented to her while acknowledging that learning is a life-long process.
I'm sure most non-Christians reading this would say I've just described a process of indoctrination. So be it. I don't see it that way, and I don't think my daughter would say the Bible was ever shoved down her throat. She has always been free to draw and do crafts during Bible lessons and often during other lessons as well. In fact, most of our educational experience has been relatively low keyed. My daughter has been exposed to a wide variety of people and situations, and she hasn't been sheltered although we have attempted to expose her to various things at age appropriate levels and in consideration of her capabilities and emotional make-up.
Since she was little, my husband and I have always let our daughter know that she is a unique individual with her own thoughts and strengths. She's been encouraged to help others, get involved with the community, be hospitable, and extend compassion. She's also learning it's OK to compromise in some areas, whereas it's best to stand firm on others. While we believe it is our responsibility to share our beliefs with her and model acceptable behavior, we've always stressed that she will have to learn to evaluate information presented to her, arrive at her own conclusions, and act accordingly. We let her know that it's OK to reach a different conclusion than we have. We have also made it abundantly clear that just because someone disagrees with us, we still need to treat the individual with love and respect. We talk about extending the same grace to others to be individuals and follow their own path as we want extended to us.
To sum things up, my husband and I believe life is a work in progress. Raising any child, let alone a spiritual child, takes a tremendous commitment (time, self-discipline, child discipline, love, attention, monitoring, etc.) from the parents if they want a good output. Individuals need to learn to take baby steps before they can run and jump. The same is true for our child's spiritual life. Hopefully, we have exposed her to the truth in appropriate stages, limited the garbage going in, and given her the tools to tackle the bigger issues.
Last edited by Blueberry; 08-12-2008 at 04:52 AM..
Reason: Agreeing with Alpha: Garbage In...Garbage Out
I'm sure most non-Christians reading this would say I've just described a process of indoctrination. So be it. I don't see it that way, and I don't think my daughter would say the Bible was ever shoved down her throat. She has always been free to draw and do crafts during Bible lessons and often during other lessons as well. In fact, most of our educational experience has been relatively low keyed. My daughter has been exposed to a wide variety of people and situations, and she hasn't been sheltered although we have attempted to expose her to various things at age appropriate levels and in consideration of her capabilities and emotional make-up.
Excellent post, Blueberry. I didn't quote the whole thing, but I just wanted to let you know that what you have done with your daughter is incredible. Oh how wonderful the world would be if all children were raised in this manner!!
It sounds as though you have been very consistent, attentive and caring with all aspects of your daughter's education and upbringing. She will be the most well-balanced adult ever!!
Thank God that there are loving parents raising their children to know and love God and His Word. My sister is home-schooling her 3 children, and I have nothing but admiration for the way she is taking charge of her children's lives and ensuring they are raised knowing God. It does indeed take a lot of discipline and consistency to do this, like you said.
I was not one of these parents, and I'm so extremely grateful to God everyday for making sure there were Christian people in my son's life to take him to church. He loves God and is saved and it had absolutely nothing to do with me, and everything to do with the grace of God.
Bravo, BB!!! God bless you and your sweet, Godly daughter.
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A chronology of a long journey
I didn't quote the whole thing, but I just wanted to let you know that what you have done with your daughter is incredible. Oh how wonderful the world would be if all children were raised in this manner!! 
