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View Poll Results: Name at least 5 reasons that you didn't go back to a church
A very mean and nasty greeter/usher 1 12.50%
You had to sit in designated places 0 0%
Members stared at you like were a leper 1 12.50%
There were various cliques/favoritism 3 37.50%
Leadership did not walk what they taught 6 75.00%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 8. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 09-27-2008, 05:21 PM
 
Location: All around the world.....
2,886 posts, read 7,767,017 times
Reputation: 1066

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There is another thread today that I responded to, "Icebreakers"
That started me to thinking; about some of the churches that I have visited in the past; and a few that I have belonged to,
So I have decided to start this thread and want to ask
Name at least 5 reasons that turned you off when you visited a church
or even joined and left;
What were some of the things that made you say to yourself
This place is not for me , I'm going to keep looking elsewhere?
Can anyone name at least five major turn-offs?
I'll start:
A mean and hateful greeter/usher
I hope that this will help us see the" error of our ways"
But this is not intended to make excuses for not going
I ask that you be as honest as you can and sincere
Thanks
God Bless
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Old 09-27-2008, 05:27 PM
 
Location: Ruidoso NM
1,483 posts, read 1,688,676 times
Reputation: 582
Well one, I went to required you feel out an application or fact sheet for new believers, and they were going to vote you into the church.......that really hurt, I left before I knew how the voting results were going to be, I was shocked to say the least.


Just recently I went to a mega church w/ my Aunt and was overpowered by the congregation, cause they asked if you need prayer or if you were a new convert to raise your hand, and I raised my hand for prayer, and as I went to the room where they can pray for you I was pointed and the whole congregation clapped for me, that was very humiliating
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Old 09-27-2008, 05:32 PM
 
Location: All around the world.....
2,886 posts, read 7,767,017 times
Reputation: 1066
Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle1210 View Post
Well one, I went to required you feel out an application or fact sheet for new believers, and they were going to vote you into the church.......that really hurt, I left before I knew how the voting results were going to be, I was shocked to say the least.


Just recently I went to a mega church w/ my Aunt and was overpowered by the congregation, cause they asked if you need prayer or if you were a new convert to raise your hand, and I raised my hand for prayer, and as I went to the room where they can pray for you I was pointed and the whole congregation clapped for me, that was very humiliating

It made you feel like you had a scarlet letter on the front and back??
God Bless
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Old 09-27-2008, 05:47 PM
 
13,635 posts, read 22,682,155 times
Reputation: 18505
I'm gonna regret this but here goes:

I. Fake smiles by the preacher and his wife..I am a people watcher and a fake smile is nothing more than a mouth in the shape of a grin..The eyes don't smile..
2. Limp handshakes, as person looks past you..A good firm handshake and a real smile say a lot on first impression..
3.Someone gently telling me that I am in their seat
4.Not feeling the unity and oneness in Christ, because only the preacher, song leader, choir and Communion servers had a part in the worship service..The rest of the audience just sat there and watched the action before their eyes and paid for it when the collection plate was passed..
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Old 09-27-2008, 06:01 PM
 
Location: All around the world.....
2,886 posts, read 7,767,017 times
Reputation: 1066
Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by blue62 View Post
I'm gonna regret this but here goes:

I. Fake smiles by the preacher and his wife..I am a people watcher and a fake smile is nothing more than a mouth in the shape of a grin..The eyes don't smile..
2. Limp handshakes, as person looks past you..A good firm handshake and a real smile say a lot on first impression..
3.Someone gently telling me that I am in their seat
4.Not feeling the unity and oneness in Christ, because only the preacher, song leader, choir and Communion servers had a part in the worship service..The rest of the audience just sat there and watched the action before their eyes and paid for it when the collection plate was passed..

blue;
I can always count on you, to be straightforward and true
I'm sorry but I almost jumped up through the ceiling on this one
I. Fake smiles by the preacher and his wife..I am a people watcher and a fake smile is nothing more than a mouth in the shape of a grin..The eyes don't smile..
I'm ashamed to admit that I'm cracking up

I'd forgot about this one, but I abhor this, cold clammy handshake, and the steel cold eyes behind the smiles reveal the true intent of the heart...
Thanks I needed a lighter note on this;
Charles Stanley just came on;
I have to go

Last edited by yhwhshalomjr; 09-27-2008 at 07:01 PM..
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Old 09-27-2008, 06:55 PM
 
Location: All around the world.....
2,886 posts, read 7,767,017 times
Reputation: 1066
Leaders;
I pray that we are we are keeping an eye on the poll;
Option number 4 and 5, is running neck to neck...
I also pray that we will all take care that we do as much as possible to remedy this in our respective
places of worship, all cost,
I am challenging all ministers and leaders to take note after the poll has been completed and address your congregation and those who serve under you, if you have not already;
And take inventory of ourselves and be accountable to the body of Christ
Thanks in advance
God Bless
p.s. we are to be about our Father's business
these votes are His business
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Old 09-27-2008, 07:00 PM
 
2,601 posts, read 3,319,748 times
Reputation: 3037
I didn't go back to my last church because they didn't want my small children in the church but wanted them in children's church or the nursery.

Lucy
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Old 09-27-2008, 07:17 PM
 
Location: All around the world.....
2,886 posts, read 7,767,017 times
Reputation: 1066
This one is a very controversial one:
This is new way that churches have adopted, because of many reasons, and I believe they vary depending on the place and type of church;
IMO I had no problem with mine sitting there with me as my parents and grandparents did with me
my grand really dislikes going into children's church, while at the same time there are many children, who seem to enjoy this experience a lot;
I took some children to church with me, that were of the Muslim persuasion, and after talking them into going to children's church, because this is what this church did.
they not only made a conscious decision to accept Christ into their lives;
(they explained that they understood Him better now); They were pestering me days before about whether I was going to take them to church or not, through these children the entire family finally surrendered their life to Christ Jesus; from this experience I view childrens church in a different light. But I that they will watch you very close if you work in the ministry, because they have came back and told me some things that otherwise would have not been exposed, ...I'll leave it at that
thanks for your post~
God Bless You
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Old 09-27-2008, 07:43 PM
 
Location: Not where you ever lived
11,544 posts, read 27,582,552 times
Reputation: 6343
I won't go back. In the first place the preacher is so busy being a pillar in the community and racking up points for the hearafter, he doesn't have time to be a pillar in his church. He's narrow minded, bigoted and treated me like a ho not only in my own house, but also in the house of the Lord. He's a bully. he's ignorant and despite his so called seminary training he know little about religion as a subject. It is HIS way or the higway. I prefer the later.

Comments, anyone?
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Old 09-27-2008, 07:59 PM
 
Location: Oxford, OH
1,461 posts, read 3,404,976 times
Reputation: 832
Years ago in the late 80's I divorced. Not God's best but it was the right decision. My ex had emotional problems, he was overdosing and was in and out of mental institutions. It got to the point I was afraid for my children. We counseled for a year and finally my extended family agreed this was best.
Our church was young and the minister decided to go after me. I got a letter saying if I didn't go back to my husband I could no longer, be on a committee, teach Sunday school, take communion or ever remarry. Now this was just a conservative evangelical church, this was not some strange cult group!!! I think he decided he would make an example out of me. When I talked with him once in his office he said I was like a cancer that should be removed from the congregation. I was amazed.
My dad went in with me and we talked to the elders and said I would not be a member of that church anymore. What is sad is that as people found out many people came up and said they had been married before and divorced before they came to our town and no one knew.
The minister left and ended up with a big church out in CA...I can only hope that God has matured him over the years! That's between him and God.
I didn't go to church for about ten years. I had never seen the judgemental side of Christianity. It changed me forever.
I am remarried and we go to a wonderful church right now.
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