New to the city...where to make friends?? (Cincinnati: move, friendly)

[motorman]

Originally Posted by Wilson513

Don't hang out in bars. Dumbest thing a girl can do. Ignore those who posit this as a recommendation....

Not even for one or two little drinks?

[TomJones123]

Originally Posted by Wilson513

Don't hang out in bars. Dumbest thing a girl can do.

I'll be sure to pass that on to the ladies that hang out at my pub. In fact, your wording is very opinionated. My corner pub has a softball team, dart team, and quite a few meet ups and other events that attract neighborhood folks who are married, single, home owners, etc. In other words folks from all walks of life. For example, the neighborhood association does a happy hour the first Friday of each month. People bring their kids because there is all kinds of games and such in the back.

Not all bars are meat markets inhabited exclusively by lounge lizards, though there is likely a bar fly or two in all bars.

[Wilson513]

Originally Posted by TomJones123

I'll be sure to pass that on to the ladies that hang out at my pub. In fact, your wording is very opinionated. My corner pub has a softball team, dart team, and quite a few meet ups and other events that attract neighborhood folks who are married, single, home owners, etc. In other words folks from all walks of life. For example, the neighborhood association does a happy hour the first Friday of each month. People bring their kids because there is all kinds of games and such in the back.

Not all bars are meat markets inhabited exclusively by lounge lizards, though there is likely a bar fly or two in all bars.

I almost excluded your corner pub comment from my blanket opposition to bar meetings. And, I am sure you are right . . . . . . . about your corner pub.

Will the OP find as good a meeting place as you have found? No chance. She could go to a hundred "corner pubs" and find nothing but lizards.

Hence the blanket statement. Sorry to have captured you in the net.

[TomJones123]

Originally Posted by Wilson513

I almost excluded your corner pub comment from my blanket opposition to bar meetings. And, I am sure you are right . . . . . . . about your corner pub.

Will the OP find as good a meeting place as you have found? No chance. She could go to a hundred "corner pubs" and find nothing but lizards.

Hence the blanket statement. Sorry to have captured you in the net.

Oh, no hard feelings, especially over a pub. But from someone who frequents pubs/bars in Cincy you are overgeneralizing quite a bit and I am older with a family as well. I think this especially holds true in OTR, Prospect Hill (Milton's), Clifton Heights to a tiny degree (Christy's), and Ludlow Street.

But, that's the great thing about forums. We all have our perspective and opinions and the OP can sift through to find (hopefully) what they need.

[Sarah Perry]

Originally Posted by TomJones123

Oh, no hard feelings, especially over a pub. But from someone who frequents pubs/bars in Cincy you are overgeneralizing quite a bit and I am older with a family as well. I think this especially holds true in OTR, Prospect Hill (Milton's), Clifton Heights to a tiny degree (Christy's), and Ludlow Street.

But, that's the great thing about forums. We all have our perspective and opinions and the OP can sift through to find (hopefully) what they need.

Speaking as someone who did my share of drinking and then some when I was younger, so far absent from this conversation is the whole aspect of alcohol consumption. I can well believe a lot of the people at Tom Jones' pub and others like it are moderate drinkers who're just there to have a sociable time. Fact is, though, establishments which are centered around alcohol are going to attract people who want to DRINK ALCOHOL.

That's not necessarily a bad thing, but out of the universe of ways to meet a potential serious partner it may not be the best choice, either. Especially if a woman's ultimate desired outcome is to find someone who'll be a responsible husband and father.

Seriously, I'm not coming down on drinking. The majority of people do it without problems. But for the ones who don't, the consequences for themselves and their families can be pretty severe. For that reason, I wouldn't have ever made even the friendliest, homiest bar my first choice of a place to meet a potential partner.

(Got lucky, one of my professors introduced me to the guy he thought would be perfect for me. 42 years later it's still all good.)

[TomJones123]

Originally Posted by Katie1187

I'm not a party girl, but I love trying new things, going out for a beer or glass of wine, going to sporting events, being around family, etc.

Ok, I thought she said she was looking to meet folks to hang out with, not a husband. And she said she likes heading out for social drinking, not alcoholic binges with lounge lizards and bar flys.

Therefore, I endeavored to meet the request.

[13th Alphabet]

I'll have to agree with Wilson. Nightclubs and bars are not the best place to make friends. It is however a good place to go for a quick hookup, but I doubt the OP is looking for that. The majority of friendships are conceived through repeated contact and shared interests, so the OP would be much better off taking a look at her interests and hobbies and seeing if there is some type of club or organization that suits her. As others have said, volunteering might be beneficial also. This would probably not work for a lot of people, but don't discount the possibility of meeting people by using public transportation. The success of this can vary greatly depending on which buses you use, not to mention that you will come in contact with some rather dysfunctional people. Nonetheless, I have found it very beneficial. I have networked and acquired several very beneficial contacts just by waiting for buses at Fountain Square.

It is not impossible to make friends in Cincy, but you need to be somewhat aggressive and outgoing in your pursuit to create a social circle. Since the overwhelming majority of people you will meet will probably be born and raised here, it will be harder to break into their circle of friends. In a transient area, one of the first few questions one will ask is where are you from, whereas in Cincinnati it is not uncommon for people to automatically assume you are from here and ask what school you attended (and that means high school).

Not to sound like a pessimist, but if you want to create a decent circle of friends, you better be willing to put in some work to acquire those friends. It is like that in any city, but some cities are harder than others to make friends, with Cincy being more on the "harder" end. It took me about two months just to gain acquaintances, and I really did not have a decent social circle containing of people I would hang out with until almost a year in. I usually do not have a problem making friends, but it was somewhat of a challenge here. It will probably be easier for you being a female (and especially if you are attractive), since females tend to be more social than males.

[kjbrill]

I have a local watering hole where I hang out frequently and have met a number of guys I consider friends. Most of us have two things in common, (1) we are retired thus not tied to a time schedule, and (2) we all enjoy playing golf, so we have formed our own golf group and play together.

The watering hole is interesting. We gather at around 3:00 PM on weekdays, when Happy Hour starts. Draft Beef is the drink of the day. We love to gather, drink beer, solve all of the problems of our society, and in general irritate the Hell out of each other. Very seldom are any of us there past 7:00 PM, (1) we recognize that is when the police start coming around looking for DUIs, and (2) we all need to be home for supper to please the little woman. Notice I said weekdays, you will hardly ever see us there on weekends, the prices are too high - we are on fixed incomes.

But having been going to the same place now to nigh onto 12 years (we started before we retired), I have observed one consistent fact. It is a drawing card for divorced people. They almost seem to wear a sign announcing the fact. Both men and women seem to act about the same. The ones with older, close to full grown children are the most obvious. At first you see some casual conversation start up. Then you notice a pairing off, the apparent start of a relationship. This is often accompanied by you see them come and meet, then quickly leave to go someplace else. This is now one of the pastimes of us old farts, identifying these encounters. We place bets (a draft beer or two) on how long it will last. So far, I have not identified one pairing which has gone the distance, move in with each other for awhile yes, marriage no.

As far as the watering hole, I understand it changes considerably in the evening and later at night. I am not aware of any shootings, knifings, muggings, etc. but plenty of obnoxious behavior from particularly younger people who over-indulge and then don't like it when they are refused to be served. The management does not stand for much before they call the local police who will have six squad cars in the parking lot in about two minutes.

Though I am rarely awake to partake, I also understand that on Friday and Saturday nights around closing time the local police just congregate along the adjacent streets. It is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Yes, socializing at a watering hole can be an iffy thing. But if you are a group of old guys spending money on afternoons during the week when everything is calm, you will be treated well. When we arrive, it is understood turn down that screetching jukebox sound system, we want to talk.

Sarah... I will agree searching for a reliable and dependable husband in a bar is probably not the wisest choice. However, searching for a dependable partner, even if not a spouse, in a similar venue the second time around is even less sound. It is like asking to commit Hari Kari.

[Wilson513]

I spent a lot of time when I was single meeting girls in bars.

You know what kind of girls you meet in bars? I'll tell you. You meet girls who like to meet men in bars. End of story.

PS, no matter what anyone tells you, no girls go to bars to meet new female friends, except if that is their sexual preference. Not that there is anything wrong with that, of course.

[Gibaschitz]

If you have a dog to walk around, you’ll meet lots of people, all kinds of people, not just those who reach out mainly while drinking. Dog walking gets you out and about in your own neighborhood and your dog will always be your friend, a lure to meet other people and an instant topic of conversation.

Woof.