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Way too often when someone of color has to wait for a security check and show ID, wait for a sales clerk, a waitress, or gets cut off in traffic, or someone looks at them the wrong way, the easy explanation is "racism. It is a disgraceful accusation against which there is no apparent defense. If one rolls his eyes at a family with two kids with their underwear showing, pants around their knees, momma eating a messy items and dropping trash along the way, and the sound of obscene rap lyrics blaring from what should be a set of private headphones, that exposes one to the accusation of racism. Breaking news folks! If you act like an idiot, people will not embrace you or your behavior. White, black or green.
Everyone has troubles. Everyone has neighbors who just barely tolerate them. Everyone waits in line. And everyone thinks someone else is a goofball, bad parent or whatever.
Get over it folks. Suck it up and act like an adult, not some whining child. If someone stares at you and your partner of another race, start by assuming that it is because you have a bad attitude or behavior, not because you have a bad skin color.
The most deadly racism in this country today is perpetrated by persons of color, whether it is the knockout game or the Nation of Islam. Only when we all feel comfortable admitting this can there be any reconciliation.
[quote=Wilson513;38059098]Everyone has troubles. Everyone has neighbors who just barely tolerate them. Everyone waits in line. And everyone thinks someone else is a goofball, bad parent or whatever.
Get over it folks. Suck it up and act like an adult, not some whining child. If someone stares at you and your partner of another race, start by assuming that it is because you have a bad attitude or behavior, not because you have a bad skin color.
quote]
True. I don't believe the OP ever said that only white people are racist to her family though; I know I sure as heck didn't. The OP is looking for a home for her children, who are not equipped to deal with this crap. And for biracial children, its a double-edged sword. In areas that are still racially segregated, they are walking the line between their two races. The OP is asking these questions because they are relevant to her children. Clearly they aren't relevant to yours, but its not a baseless worry. And with biracial kids, they get it from both races.
I would urge anyone interested in racism in Cincinnati to spend a few hours of listening to the Lincoln Ware call in radio show on 1230 AM late mornings. Just give it an hour or two. Its like having a hidden microphone in a KKK meeting in Mississippi in 1924.
Every day callers spew the most virulent racial hatred I have ever heard anywhere. And, on an FCC regulated AM channel. This is a local show and the callers are all local folks. For those who have never heard this stream of hate, I think it is a valuable lesson in perspective.
I think the question of whether an entire large community is "racist" or not is pretty silly. Applied to a large metropolitan area like Cincinnati, it verges on ridiculous. This is not to make light of the basic concern, though.
Certainly, if you're a biracial couple or have biracial children, you can find subgroups of people who are not going to be even tolerant, much less welcoming. You also can find groups which will accept you with open arms and even go so far as to be admiring of your choices. IMO this is what really matters to one's quality of life, not whether the occasional stranger gives you a less than friendly look in the grocery aisle. Which, for that matter, I don't think is prevailing behavior in Cincinnati. As a gross generalization, many if not most Cincinnatians pride themselves on being polite. And in surface, very casual interactions, that's as much as you need, anyway.
NOTE: For the record, white middle-aged male here.
Quote:
Does anyone even bat an eye at a mixed couple in 2015?
First, let's answer this. Unfortunately, the answer is yes. There absolutely are people, ones I know personally, who most certainly "bat an eye" at mixed-raced couples and are quite vocal about it, depending on the circumstances. One example that stands out is hearing an acquaintance comment on "the zookeeper and his monkey" when we passed a mixed couple at Kenwood mall.
Now, to the larger question: yes, of course, there's racism in Cincy. Put several hundred thousand people together, and differences are going to get noticed and commented on. The good thing for Cincy (if there is one) is that it's probably no more or less racist than most other places. Why? Because people are people, no matter where you go, and for a certain segment, race matters.
Purely anecdotal, but here are a couple of personal examples:
1. At Rhinegeist over the winter, we walked in with a group of 20-30-somethings behind us. As soon as we walked in, one of the guys in the group behind us loudly commented, "Oh, so this is where all the white people in OTR hang out." Racist, or a casual remark/joke?
2. At a diner in Norwood (can't remember the name), sat having breakfast, and a black man came in just to make change. When the cashier told him he could buy a coffee and she'd make change from that, he did so and left. As the door shut, I heard her say, "Just like a damn n****r, always wanting a handout." Clearly racist.
I try not to extrapolate that out to an entire area, instead preferring to level the charge at the offender. I lived in Minneapolis for several years, a city that, in many ways, loves to think of itself as progressive (especially for the Midwest). First full day there, we were having lunch in Bloomington and asked the waitress about different neighborhoods. She helpfully commented on a couple, and that seemed to be it. Then she turned to say, "Just stay away from Brooklyn Park or Brooklyn Center; we don't have a whole lot of n****rs up here, but the ones we have, that's where they live." Yikes.
So, I think Cincy about like a lot of places - it's tolerable, I suppose, because it won't be right in your face, like it may have been 50-75 years ago. Scratch the surface, though, and it's there, just like it is in a lot of places.
The point I'm getting at here is these posts are ridiculous. In a metro area of over 2 million people, are you going to find a handful of idiots? Sure. The eugenics experiments of the 1910s failed and idiots remain spread out all over the county. But the title of this post is preposterous. To even suggest an entire American city or metropolitan area the size of Cincinnati is racist is unbelievable in this day and age.
My best guess is the OP wants to settle down in areas where she is likely to encounter other mixed couples if she's so fixated on racial differences. To that end the question ought to be, instead of is the entire population of Cincinnati on the whole a bunch of racist dirt bags, where might mixed race couples be found in Cincinnati in a proportion higher than the regional average?
To the OP: I've dated interracially in Cincy. Never experienced any odd looks, snickering, or negative comments within ear shot. Perhaps I wasn't particularly looking for it either. Closest thing I had to anyone even calling it out was some high fives and backslapping from my friends when they saw who I was with. So here you go, anecdotally 'Cincinnati' is not racist.
Last edited by Zen_master; 01-17-2015 at 07:23 PM..
To the OP: I've dated interracially in Cincy. Never experienced any odd looks, snickering, or negative comments within ear shot. Perhaps I wasn't particularly looking for it either. So anecdotally 'Cincinnati' is not racist.
I agree, Cincinnati isn't racist, try dating internationally in a rural Kentucky town if you think cities are bad. Most cities are way more socially progressive than rural areas and even the rural areas are getting a bit more progressive. This is 2015, I am white and have dated Asian and Latino women in the South before never had one problem and never had anybody say anything to me about it.
NOTE: For the record, white middle-aged male here.
First, let's answer this. Unfortunately, the answer is yes. There absolutely are people, ones I know personally, who most certainly "bat an eye" at mixed-raced couples and are quite vocal about it, depending on the circumstances. One example that stands out is hearing an acquaintance comment on "the zookeeper and his monkey" when we passed a mixed couple at Kenwood mall.
Now, to the larger question: yes, of course, there's racism in Cincy. Put several hundred thousand people together, and differences are going to get noticed and commented on. The good thing for Cincy (if there is one) is that it's probably no more or less racist than most other places. Why? Because people are people, no matter where you go, and for a certain segment, race matters.
Purely anecdotal, but here are a couple of personal examples:
1. At Rhinegeist over the winter, we walked in with a group of 20-30-somethings behind us. As soon as we walked in, one of the guys in the group behind us loudly commented, "Oh, so this is where all the white people in OTR hang out." Racist, or a casual remark/joke?
2. At a diner in Norwood (can't remember the name), sat having breakfast, and a black man came in just to make change. When the cashier told him he could buy a coffee and she'd make change from that, he did so and left. As the door shut, I heard her say, "Just like a damn n****r, always wanting a handout." Clearly racist.
I try not to extrapolate that out to an entire area, instead preferring to level the charge at the offender. I lived in Minneapolis for several years, a city that, in many ways, loves to think of itself as progressive (especially for the Midwest). First full day there, we were having lunch in Bloomington and asked the waitress about different neighborhoods. She helpfully commented on a couple, and that seemed to be it. Then she turned to say, "Just stay away from Brooklyn Park or Brooklyn Center; we don't have a whole lot of n****rs up here, but the ones we have, that's where they live." Yikes.
So, I think Cincy about like a lot of places - it's tolerable, I suppose, because it won't be right in your face, like it may have been 50-75 years ago. Scratch the surface, though, and it's there, just like it is in a lot of places.
I don't know what to make of this. I have lived in a handful of cities in my life. I also regularly travel all across the country for work. I have never heard, seen, or otherwise witnessed anything like the last two stories you describe. Maybe this helps to explain my incredulity of this topic.
I don't know what to make of this. I have lived in a handful of cities in my life. I also regularly travel all across the country for work. I have never heard, seen, or otherwise witnessed anything like the last two stories you describe. Maybe this helps to explain my incredulity of this topic.
That stuff happens. I don't work there, but when Lebron James went to Miami from Cleveland some members at this country club yelled out that N word.
I don't know what to make of this. I have lived in a handful of cities in my life. I also regularly travel all across the country for work. I have never heard, seen, or otherwise witnessed anything like the last two stories you describe. Maybe this helps to explain my incredulity of this topic.
Sadly, I could add a whole lot more. I've also lived in a lot of different places in the US and overseas, and there are examples that stick out in every single location.
It's so complex, though. Some things are said purely as a joke (like the guy at Rhinegeist, I don't think he meant what he said in a hateful way). Some are out of ignorance (as in my mom being convinced that black people have extra muscles and that's why they're such good athletes). Some, though, are out of hate and resentment. Those are the ones that are hard to put up with.
I grew up in Butler County, moved away for nearly 20 years, then moved back to the Cincy area (I'm up in Wilmington, but work/hang out in Cincy) in 2004. On the general subject of tolerance, I feel like there's been a lot of improvement since 2004. I have a gay family member, he worked and lived in Cincy and was beaten up twice in the span of 18 months or so, and he felt threatened enough that he moved to a more gay-friendly city. Now, apart from a couple of comments, I doubt he have much issue.
It may sound tenuous, but I think a lot of it has to do with the general redevelopment of Cincy, like the Banks and OTR, and what's going on in East Walnut Hills, etc. Places like that attract a more diverse crowd, and suddenly it becomes more troublesome to shout discriminatory things at people. The feelings don't stop, it just drives it underground to a certain extent, but I think walking around on a Saturday night and not being accosted counts as an improvement of sorts, I suppose.
It's also all anecdotal - your experience isn't mine, and mine isn't the next person's, and so forth. I don't even know how anyone would accurately measure the level of racism in an area. That's why I try not to think of it in terms of area, but more in terms of the people who are saying/doing these kinds of things - because they can live anywhere.
Think too, how many times we go out and we don't have a problem like that. Those don't even register, probably, because most people don't think in terms of something not happening; "Hey, what a great night at the playhouse, and we didn't get mugged!" Most of the time we're out and about, there aren't any observable problems, so that's a good thing.
One somewhat funny example, not based on race, but discriminatory nonetheless: In 1989, I was living in NY state and brought my fiancee (now wife) down to meet my family. We drove her car, which was plated with NY tags.
Driving through, on the way to the house, we were at a stoplight in Hamilton (ok, not Cincy, but close enough for the story). When the light changed, the guy in car next to us stuck his head out the window, spit on our car, and shouted, "Go back to New York City, you f*****g yankees!" This was, of course, while I'd been regaling my wife of all the neat things we were going to do while we were in town. Terrible first impression.
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