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I'm 26 years old, and I was born, and have lived in Hamilton, Ohio my entire life. For anyone who doesn't know, it's a medium size city which is about 30 miles north of Cincinnati, so I've always been in the same Metro area my entire life. With this being said, I have ventured all over the area-From counties such as Warren, Clermont, Hamilton(Right in Cincinnati), Butler, Preble, Kentucky, and Indiana. Right now, I'm a licensed teacher, but I'm substitute teaching full time, PLUS, working an additional 15 hours a week at Menard's.
I've still never had a girlfriend, dated, or had any form of sex. I can't help but think this area of Ohio is flat out terrible for dating. I'm not the only one who has mentioned this-I know many other people who agree the people around here are closed minded, asocial, and picky.
Even though we seem to be a society which avoids face-to-face interaction, especially in my lame generation, it seems to be worse in this particular area. I've tried everything-From online dating, to dating apps, to venues. I was involved in clubs, and sports in my Jr. high, and high school years, and never had any lucky. I was involved in the Miami University campuses in Hamilton, and Oxford(AKA prudes), and never had any luck in college. It's nearly impossible to even begin a conversation with Millennial women these days, as they're either sucked into their cell phones, or blow you off as a "creeper" without getting a chance. In case you're wondering, I'm not the least bit picky-I am open to probably 85 percent(give or take) to women under the age of 30(And even over 30, I like them that old too). As a matter of fact, I find a lot of women 40, and over attractive as well.
-I don't travel much, but I have had more positive responses during my vacation travels, especially in the southeastern portion of Ohio.
-I have noticed women in their mid 30's, or older seem to be more open. This may be due to the fact they don't get near as much male attention as they used to, or it could be due to their sexual prime days.
-Perhaps, if I move, I can also move to a place with an abundance of teaching jobs, so I can knock out two birds(Sex, and Career) with one stone!
So, where is a good place to move to for dating? Any ideas?
I think this may be the case in many parts of the country. Just wait. It gets worse as you get older too. As more women become married you have less available women for dating.
Personally? I'm too busy with work and just trying to make ends meet (pay off some debt and house repairs) to even consider dating. In fact I can't even afford a social life now even if I had the time. Hopefully that will change by the end of the year or by early next year. If my income improves then I may be able to enjoy life again. I just moved here and don't really take much time to talk to women simply because I know that if I try to make any real conversation with them they will get the wrong idea. I figure if I don't give them much time they will realize I am not interested at this time. I should add that I am not all the crazy about the women in my own generation any more. I'm a Baby Boomer. Most are too aggressive and have personalities that I consider to be a little less lady like than I was accustomed to in New England. I figure if I decide to date again it will be someone quite a bit younger simply because I've found most of those women to be much better listeners and not nearly as rude to me as the women in my age bracket.
Back to your dilemma. Check out some articles on the subject and see if you can find which areas of the country are best for single people to meet other people of the opposite sex. I think the Denver area is near the top and so is Boston. Usually once a year someone comes out with a report on this issue and I seem to recall both of those cities rank near the top for dating.
I do not think that your problem is Ohio specific, neither I nor anyone I knew had problems of this sort growing up here. Maybe post in the "personal relationships" forum?
That said, I am sure that there are other issues at play here as 26 is late. I had many friends that were considered "late bloomers" who didn't grow into their masculinity until their early twenties and most ended up losing their virgnity in college, so there is no real stigma. If you were one of these people and were not in college in your early twenties I can imagine how this may happen.
Also you need to come in from the suburbs and try your hand all over again in the actual city. I have another friend who is massively smart and self motivated and grew up in Xenia where she found the population of relatable bachelors to be non existent. If she had stayed in Xenia she would be writing this same post. You need to try fishing in a bigger gene pool than exurb strip-mall Ohio. Start in Cincinnati.
Pardon this antiquated notion, but whatever happened to people being friends? (Certainly before sex; can you work together okay is generally considerably more useful than do you fit together good enough.)
The women are terrible? Well, let me just tell you about the men of my generation. (Can she cook? Well, really, there's not enough bandwidth here nor enough words in the dictionary.)
Being friends and sharing some of the same hobbies and interests as well as having compatible personalities is the best way to develop a good relationship that will last. People these days and really I think this started with my generation, get together for the wrong reasons. Most notably the physical attraction aspect only. Big mistake.
Also, it is actually a compliment to say that women are picky; life is too short to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't make you happy.
The most important factor in having a successful dating life is having a well rounded circle of personal and professional friends with different interests and relationship statuses . In addition to the possibility of being introduced to a friend of a friend, there is some sort of hive mind intelligence going on for finding the "hot" places to be when it comes to meeting people. The old adage that it is not what you know but who you know is more relevant to dating than professional work in my opinion.
I think the best advice I can give is that the OP should concentrate on getting a stable career or job if he has not already done so. Position yourself for your future to be able to live the lifestyle you choose, save money and get debt paid off. You will find that if you achieve many of your goals in your personal and professional life, you will feel good about yourself and likely can be more confident about finding someone suitable to date and perhaps marry. Trying to put the cart before the horse which is what so many people do, can lead to a bad relationship with a woman that is not compatible.
BTW. Try taking the Briggs and Stratton uh wait, that is the Myers and Briggs Learning Inventory. The personality test will show you how you best match up to certain kinds of people for work and personal relationships. Example: I'm mostly an ISTJ (Introvert, Sensing, Thinking, Judging type) with some INTJ (Introvert, Intuition, Thinking, Judging type). Thus after learning this I found out whom I am best suited to work with and also who is going to be an ideal mate. Unfortunately for my types only about 3 women in 100 will have a compatible personality. LOL. I should not be with the over bearing, aggressive, domineering types that seem to like me. Thus, I no longer will date them and steer clear of their type.
Take the test and see if you can find out what kind of women are best suited to your personality.
I think this may be the case in many parts of the country. Just wait. It gets worse as you get older too. As more women become married you have less available women for dating.
Personally? I'm too busy with work and just trying to make ends meet (pay off some debt and house repairs) to even consider dating. In fact I can't even afford a social life now even if I had the time. Hopefully that will change by the end of the year or by early next year. If my income improves then I may be able to enjoy life again. I just moved here and don't really take much time to talk to women simply because I know that if I try to make any real conversation with them they will get the wrong idea. I figure if I don't give them much time they will realize I am not interested at this time. I should add that I am not all the crazy about the women in my own generation any more. I'm a Baby Boomer. Most are too aggressive and have personalities that I consider to be a little less lady like than I was accustomed to in New England. I figure if I decide to date again it will be someone quite a bit younger simply because I've found most of those women to be much better listeners and not nearly as rude to me as the women in my age bracket.
Back to your dilemma. Check out some articles on the subject and see if you can find which areas of the country are best for single people to meet other people of the opposite sex. I think the Denver area is near the top and so is Boston. Usually once a year someone comes out with a report on this issue and I seem to recall both of those cities rank near the top for dating.
While it's true that the older you get, the more people get married, it's more of a quality vs quantity issue.For instance, at Miami University(Where I went to college), the school was roughly 60 percent female, and most of them weren't married. However, most of them seemed to have boyfriends. Also, most of them were extraordinarily picky, snobby, and closed-minded, so the odds of actually dating one of them(or hooking up) were slim, unless you drove an high-class car, and came from a wealthy family. On the other hand, I could find 100 women(Aged 30, and over), and even if 60 out of 100 of them are married, the 40 of them who are single(assuming they don't have a boyfriend), would be far less picky, more accepting, and open minded, since they have less choices. The bottom line is: Younger women are more likely to be single, but also more likely to be picky, while older women are less likely to be single, but also less likely to be picky.
I've been to Denver, Colorado(I've never been to Boston, Massachusetts though), and Denver was the nicest city I've ever been to-Except for the people. They seemed a little worse than Cincinnati, as they were even more rude, and unfriendly.
I do not think that your problem is Ohio specific, neither I nor anyone I knew had problems of this sort growing up here. Maybe post in the "personal relationships" forum?
That said, I am sure that there are other issues at play here as 26 is late. I had many friends that were considered "late bloomers" who didn't grow into their masculinity until their early twenties and most ended up losing their virgnity in college, so there is no real stigma. If you were one of these people and were not in college in your early twenties I can imagine how this may happen.
Also you need to come in from the suburbs and try your hand all over again in the actual city. I have another friend who is massively smart and self motivated and grew up in Xenia where she found the population of relatable bachelors to be non existent. If she had stayed in Xenia she would be writing this same post. You need to try fishing in a bigger gene pool than exurb strip-mall Ohio. Start in Cincinnati.
This is ironic, since most people I know who ended their school career after high school quickly became parents, often times with multiple mothers, and fathers. If anything, girls in college are far more picky than girls in their 20's who don't attend college. I went to Miami University, and the girls there expected guys to drive high-class vehicles, and came from "nicer" families than I did, so therefore, I was shunned right away.
And if you read my post, I already mentioned I have been to Cincinnati. I mentioned I have been ALL over the area, whether it be Butler, Clermont, Warren, Preble, or Hamilton County(Yes, right in Cincinnati), and even eastern Indiana to Northern Kentucky(As a matter of fact, all over Kentucky).
Pardon this antiquated notion, but whatever happened to people being friends? (Certainly before sex; can you work together okay is generally considerably more useful than do you fit together good enough.)
The women are terrible? Well, let me just tell you about the men of my generation. (Can she cook? Well, really, there's not enough bandwidth here nor enough words in the dictionary.)
Trust me, I'm the first one that will admit most guys I know are sexist, risk-taking, egotistical fools, but I feel like males are easier to get along with than females. I've also notice young women are more likely to walk around with this "He's a creeper" thought than older women.
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