Cincinnatians: Rude, friendly, or average? (Dayton, Warren: appointed, fit in, home)

[high mileage]

I'm new to city-data. I usually just scroll through the threads but I thought I would post a thread since a thought popped in my head. I was conversing with a friend when we were talking about rude people and she swears Cincinnati is full of rude people. I disagree. I'm not saying Cincinnati is an overtly friendly place but Cincinnati doesn't stand out to me as a rude place. I've have experiences with east coast cities and one city that stands out to me in rudeness is Philly. There were a few things that stood out to me there that probably wouldn't happen in other cities. So, I wanted to know what you guys think? IMO, Cincinnati is a middle-of-the-road type city in regards to that aspect. I don't find people to be extra friend but they also aren't mean and rude either.

[Hartwell Girl]

I think there are rude people everywhere, but I KNOW that Cincinnati is very generous in helping other people when there are people in need. If there is someone who has been hurt or a charity that needs help, Cincinnatians step up every time....to me that is one of the many things I love about this City and something that many people overlook or dont even think about.

I was told before we left for a trip to Atlanta a few years back that people in Atlanta were rude, didnt meet one rude person the whole time we were there. I loved the place and thought the southern hospitality was one of the best things I ever experienced. But when I tell people that even now, people are shocked that I think Atlanta was a wonderful trip full of very kind people.

I also think this thread has the potential to get ugly, and therefore I have to warn you, I am a nice person but if someone attacks the City I grew up in and love, I and many others on this thread do bark back.

[Btrja]

I grew up in this city and it isn't that they are rude it's just that they are indifferent. IMO they will most likely ignore you. most people i meet just go about their business and not say boo. It's about as middle of the road as I've found.

[RandyWatson]

It seems as if its a 50/50, either you'll absolutely love Cincy, or you will hate. So Im not sure about the middle of the road thing.

The people I worked with there said they love Cincinnati and will never leave, but myself along with a good portion of other out of towners couldnt wait to get out. So I dont think you can really judge it by what others say, you just have to go off of what you see and experience for yourself.

[high mileage]

Originally Posted by Hartwell Girl

I think there are rude people everywhere, but I KNOW that Cincinnati is very generous in helping other people when there are people in need. If there is someone who has been hurt or a charity that needs help, Cincinnatians step up every time....to me that is one of the many things I love about this City and something that many people overlook or dont even think about.

I was told before we left for a trip to Atlanta a few years back that people in Atlanta were rude, didnt meet one rude person the whole time we were there. I loved the place and thought the southern hospitality was one of the best things I ever experienced. But when I tell people that even now, people are shocked that I think Atlanta was a wonderful trip full of very kind people.

I also think this thread has the potential to get ugly, and therefore I have to warn you, I am a nice person but if someone attacks the City I grew up in and love, I and many others on this thread do bark back.

Let me start off by saying, I'm not trying to furtively attack the city. Sometimes I may bluntly state my opinion which may come off as rude, but that is not my intention. I've already taken notice, I need to stay on your good side. j/k. I see you do take great pride in Cincy which is wonderful. You make a great a point about the city helping those in need. Cincinnati is noticably helpful to the less fortunate; a lot more than other cities. There are three things I can think of right off hand: shelters during the winter for the homeless, the community outreach for the young woman involved in the rock throwing incident, and the plurality of people who volunteer for non-profit organizations. You never really hear the city having to "beg" people to volunteer for certain organizations. I've been in bigger and more liberal cities where you would always hear on the news about a shortage of volunteers for this organization or that. Lastly, I might sound like I'm contradicting myself by pinpointing Philly on rudeness but I find the schema of particular regions to be overblown. I don't find one region to be primarily rude while another is very friendly. I've had encounters with gas station clerks in Mississippi in which one would think of as an east coast type of rudeness. On the flipside, I found the employees at the service stations in New Jersey to be very nice and helpful (even on the turnpike).

[high mileage]

Originally Posted by RandyWatson

It seems as if its a 50/50, either you'll absolutely love Cincy, or you will hate. So Im not sure about the middle of the road thing.

The people I worked with there said they love Cincinnati and will never leave, but myself along with a good portion of other out of towners couldnt wait to get out. So I dont think you can really judge it by what others say, you just have to go off of what you see and experience for yourself.

Well, I'm actually one of the middle of the road people. I don't love Cincy, but I don't hate the city either.

[Ohiogirl81]

There are rude people everywhere.

People in Cincinnati, I think, seem to be more cautious than rude. By that I mean they're cautious with non-natives, or really of anyone that doesn't think like they do, native or otherwise -- not that there is one particular way all Cincinnati residents think. That might come off as rude or stand-offish.

I'll tell you what -- I lived in Cincinnati for six or seven years before I stopped getting the raised eyebrow and "You're not from around here, are you?" I've never had that experience in any other place I've lived.

[Ohioan58]

At the risk of offending lifetime Cincinnatians, I'll venture my impression. (FWIW: grew up in Dayton, moved around the US for 10+ years to both coasts and several other places in between, and resettled outside Cincinnati in Warren Co. area.)

The things that generally bind and define Southwestern Ohioans - I'm including the social climate from Dayton through Cincinnati - are:

- Extreme cliquishness. Gotta belong to something "defined" in order for many here to take you seriously or accept you.

- Excessive conservatism. (As an IT/engineering person, the boneheaded and petty ways of local companies who save a dime at the expense of earning a dollar has truly disappointed me. This area is the exact opposite of a vibrant region like Silicon Valley where people take calculated risks productively.)

- Borderline xenophobia. (If you're not from my tribe you're a Morlock.)

Cincinnati has felt like a real life extension of high school social dynamics. You're not cool or not in my group? I have no use for you" (that is the best reaction - I have also gotten far worse from locals.)

Each and every place I have worked at in this area has been challenging to fit in and to just find my bearings. Co-workers hide information, don't share, and interpret anything that is said as a threat to their little frog pond. Every place I worked at here, co workers have been defensive bordering on paranoid about some secrets about the project that they are hoarding.

I just know that Cincinnati has, by far, been the hardest place for me to be accepted socially or professionally, and notes that I have compared with others who moved here from outside or resettled here confirms this. Once you get out of the region, once you move back in, it feels quite claustrophobic. Also, it's impossible to convey to a lifetime local. They don't know. They think everyplace is like Cincinnati.

FWIW: I'm a white straight guy, not into any big social or political causes in either left or right direction. So, like, I'm not some ultra liberal or gay person trying to shove some agenda down conservative throats. I'm a middle class, church going, politically and socially moderate person.

The comments about "cautious" and "stand offish" in this thread are interesting. In my opinion, fear of strangers - xenophobia - IS usually manifested as rudeness and coldness.

People in Cincinnati CAN be quite nice, but it's extremely context-dependent. Example, I was once trying to find an office suite in Tower Place downtown, and two different businessmen saw me looking around and volunteered to help, just as a courtesy. The context there seemed to be "professional person helping fellow professional person who seems lost."

I find, also, that people here tend to be quite bland in their presentation because there is such a conservative local bias around here against sticking out or being noticed. You just don't find many colorful, outspoken personalities in the tri-state or in Dayton. You mainly find bland people here who outwardly conform so they don't get gossiped about.

You can make really tight friendships here. I see this mainly as a defensive gesture. People here will crap all over you and cheat you if they don't know you from their peer group, so it tends to be a safety seeking thing to find your own clique to belong to.

I think that socially, Cincinnati is a pretty miserable place to live. Unless you have your own clique and you are from around here, then you probably think it's the best place in the universe.

I guess the clique thing feels cozy and comforting to people here. "Oh, you went to my high school, so even though we're both in our fifties and we are grown adults, we're just like each other." To me this seems to stifle creativity and self expression and results in that blandness.

About general friendliness... I lived in South Jersey for a year. I found that after a year there I probably had more people I could socialize with than after my first year in the Cincinnati region. I'm saying that this place is less welcoming than at least one part of the east coast. I lived in Florida (West Palm area) for about a year and a half. Party central, made lots of friends.

Yeah, this isn't the east coast or Florida, right. But it's sure as hell not "down home friendly" either and it's not down to earth Midwestern. People here want a dossier of sorts so they know if they "should" get to know you.

Don't shoot the messenger. And don't tell me to move. I am staying right here so I can set you locals straight as needed.

Just kidding. Kind of. I've just had too many locals criticize me that I am not going to apologize for my opinions any more. So you're gonna hear them...

[Cincy-Rise]

How did a thread discussing whether or not a city is rude or not turn into a discussion on whether it sucks or not?

Randy Watson, Ohiogirl81, and Ohioan58, let's get real ... none of you lived in Cincinnati.

[Grandma(in waiting)]

Ohioan58, your experiences mirror that of my husband and me.

Cincy-Rise, if one's mail is addressed to Cincinnati, where does one live? Baltimore? Jacksonville? Where is the magic triangle in Cincinnati where people are friendly to newcomers? No matter where people say they lived in the city or surrounding it, they've "lived in the wrong area".

I read an interesting column from an old edition of CityBeat called "That Cincinnati Vibe". Google it for another perspective (and validation that those who had a less than positive experience living in Cincinnati are not all a bunch of malcontents).