Diary of a Cincinnati Winter (appointed, how much, home)

[Sunnydee]

DIARY OF A CINCINNATI WINTER

November 29 - 6:00 PM
Our first Cincinnati snow! We're only supposed to get an inch, but I'll take it. Why do we have to wait until after Thanksgiving to see snow here? Why do all of the local tv stations tell people to buy groceries and snow shovels? I guess it's just one of those quaint Midwestern things I've heard about. The wife and I sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looks lovely and it's so romantic in the moonlight. We felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 8
It's been gray and cold every day for over a week. Where is the sun? Where is the snow?

December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. The trees are beautiful. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving to Cincinnati was the best idea I've ever had! Schools are closed, which is a little weird because we only got two inches, but what the heck? Let the kids have some fun. I shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did our driveway and the sidewalks, but our neighbor, Bob, said no one does sidewalks here - I wonder why.

December 12
The sun has melted our lovely snow.. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry - we might have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! He says we'll have enough snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 19
Snow, lovely snow! Half an inch last night. The temperature dropped to 20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by sweeping the driveway and sidewalks. The local tv anchors are telling everyone to Go to Kroger and stock up on groceries. This is the life! Everyone looks out for each other in Cincinnati!

December 23
4 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car. Stocked the freezer and bought milk and bread. The wife wants an extra snow shovel and a wood stove. She says we need to be ready in case the electricity goes out. I think both ideas are silly and she's been watching too many of the Power of Five weather reports. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 24
Forecasters say the snow is delayed. It's in St. Louis now, but will definitely be here by morning. Again they reminded us to have groceries, snow shovels, salt, batteries, etc. on hand. Oh Boy, a white Christmas, I can hardly wait!

December 25
Still waiting for the snow. All we have is gray, dreary, and cold. The wife is so disappointed.


January 12
It's been gray and dreary since Christmas. I feel like I haven't seen the sun in months. Ice storm this morning. Trees are coated and sparkling. Jack Atherton is telling people to be careful out there. LOL, it's only a little ice. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway trying to get to my car. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed, which I think was mean. Finally got to my car and the radio personalities are telling me to be careful out there, buy milk, bread, and salt for the driveway - too late for that. I tried to get to work on time, but the idiots without four wheel drive are slipping and sliding all over the place. If you can't drive stay home. Some of us have to work for a living.

January 27
Still freezing and gray. Roads are icy again. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, salt for the driveway, and batteries, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

January 28
Electricity's back on, but had another 4 inches of the damn stuff last night. Schools are closed again. I'm hearing about buying groceries, salt, batteries, and shovels yet again. When are these tv people going to shut up about the snow? Not one damn kid came to the door asking to shovel, but they're out there building snowmen. Now I have to shovel again. The Blazer is covered, so I have to scrape that off too. Finally got to work. These fricking people do not know how to drive in snow! I finally get home from work and my driveway is blocked. The damn snowplow finally came by and pushed all the snow in front of my driveway. I broke my snow shovel trying to clear the drive. Called the only hardware store around, McCabe's, to see about buying a snow shovel and they're out. They might have another shipment in March. I think they're full of sh**. Bob says I should have listened when the tv personalities and my wife told me to buy a shovel.

February 1
The sun came out today! Wife and I celebratd by finally going to Skyline for dinner, Bob's been bugging us for months about it. WTF? They call this runny slop chili? The people here are nuts.

February 5
It's gray and cold again. With the wind chill it's only five degrees. When will this winter end?

February 8
5 inches of snow today. All of the schools are cancelled and the city is on a level two snow emergency. Nonstop coverage of the snow storm on all stations. Where's the Today show? If the local tv stations tell me one more time to go to the grocery, be careful on the roads, and how to drive I'm going to punch someone out. Still can't find a kid willing to shovel snow. Had to borrow Bob's shovel to clear my driveway, but he was using it, so I had to wait around for an hour while that damn retiree shoveled his driveway first. He doesn't have any place to go this morning. He's just lookking for his Enquirer. When are they going to plow the fricking roads?

February 9
3 to 5 more inches are predicted. It's snowing now. My driveway is blocked again. I hate that snowplow guy. If I ever catch him, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I can't turn on the tv or radio because all they talk about is the "White Death" and being prepared for it. How can I be prepared when the stores are out of milk, bread, batteries, salt, and shovels each time I go shopping? The wife says if I didn't wait until the snow comes to shop they'd have the stuff we need. Kids are off of school again - damn. No one gives me a day off each time it snows. And there's Bob out there shoveling when he knows I need his fricking shovel this morning. He's retired, why can't he let me shovel my driveway first and then do his while I'm at work - if I ever get to work this morning. I don't know how much more I can take.

[Crew Chief]

February 15

Again the WLW talking heads and the rest of Cincy's media warn of impending doom as the White Death approaches from SE Indiana. Everyone in the Tri-State races past me as I head to my grocery distribution center. I must not impede their progress for they are headed to the closest grocery store to strip the shelves clean and I must deliver the trailers with the goods to restock them. For DAYS after the snow lets up. Or until the talking heads get on the airwaves again about the White Death this weekend.

[Sunnydee]

Good one! Thanks fo the addition!

[SingleCincyGuy]

Feb 15

Who new the importance of viewing every flake of snow as it falls from the round. Even as the talking heads urge us to stay home so the snow crews can clear the roads of the vast accumulation of flakes, they send reporters out to show us every detail, as if the conditions were changing in the span of 15 minutes.

[kjbrill]

Yes, if we do not react and gang up on the food stores, we must be dificient in our faculties. It is just snow people. It will come and it will go.

[longhorn eagles]

In early February you forgot to put we had another snow storm and the weather man was predicting 10-15 inches how come you forgot the biggest snow storm of all.