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As a gay male familiar with both cities this is surprisingly spot on from a straight guy. Men in Atlanta tend more effeminate in my opinion (generally speaking) with exceptions of course, and though"Southern" not as friendly or down-to-earth as Chicago.
I also agree and echo this.
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Originally Posted by homeinatx
I don't live in Chicago anymore, but did for many years and I visit often and the gay scene is pretty cosmopolitan, much more so than Atlanta. There are many scenes and many small north side local bars, the latter tend to skew more midwestern, in addition to the Halsted/Belmont motherlode which is twinkier and trendier. East Lakeview is currently the largest and most lively gayborhood in the U.S. The Castro and Chelsea/east and west Village are shadows of their former selves. There is no Atlanta equivalent. There is also a huge leather scene - evident in the only Leather Museum and Archive in the world, IML etc.
Chicago has a large, fairly well-organized and very diverse gay scene: a gay beach - Hollywood beach - in the city itself, more gay sports leagues that any city I have ever been in. There are a bunch of predominantly African American bars and clubs on the south side. Many of its suburbs are rather gay-friendly. Since it is also the most affordable of the big US cities, there is also considerable age range in the people out and about. SF tends older because it is so expensive to live there.
If you can handle the winters, which really got to me after a few years, it is a fantastic place to be 30, single and gay. The scene is also friendly. World class cultural amenities, spectacular food scene etc, without the attitude one can find on the coasts.
I also agree and echo this. Also, IML (I somehow seem to be in the city coincidentally whenever it's going on). Atlanta does have great gay sports leagues, though, maybe not as many, but certainly A LOT. SF is also a lot younger nowadays due to tech. There are so many well-paid <30 year olds in this city, and tech is easily the gayest professional industry in the country, hubbed here. So yes, older perhaps on average, but not what it used to be. Gayborhoods in NYC and SF "float" like all the other neighborhoods in these faster paced cities. Chelsea is still super gay, but extremely expensive, so HK and parts of Brooklyn have taken over as well known gayborhoods. Castro is still super gay, but again drawing so many straight people (families even) that it's shifted perhaps more to the Mission? It's a transition period now, but I live on Polk, which was the gayborhood even before Castro. Still, rainbow crosswalks are being installed in the Castro and sidewalks widened, so perhaps it's here to stay as a gayborhoood.
Midtown in Atlanta was very very gay, and still is quite gay, but I agree, it's not the same. The scene in Atl is far more dispersed, both in the city, and in the metro. That makes it challenging for all the reasons I'm arguing against Marothisu for on his take on him being a straight guy in what is now a "mixed" gay/straight scene in Chicago/the country. No, concentration is best!
My disagreements with Marothisu aren't disagreements on Chicago vs Atlanta. Chicago, for me, for all the reasons I've already lists. I just dispute him passing off a blank statement that most guys in Chicago aren't from the Midwest. That would imply >50% of the guys are not from IL, WI, MN, IN, IA, MO, MI, etc. That makes no sense. Chicago is *obviously* very Midwestern, which is what I LIKE about it. Even here in SF, I seem to be able to pick out a guy as being from the Midwest, as if I'm drawn to that (being from Chicago or MN is preferable). Most guys in Atl are from the SE. It's also obvious. I am not drawn to southern guys like I'm drawn to Midwestern guys, and there is a huge difference. Most guys here in SF are from the west coast. And I wouldn't be surprised if there are more East Coasters here than in Chicago. Coast to coast, there's something to be said for that.
I also don't care for Marothisu's attitude, as a straight man himself, that the gay scene in Chicago is super mixed and should be because that's how society should be (at least that's how his language comes across). Society should be tolerant and accepting and we should be able to be married, but wtf are we going to do if we do become mixed to the point where we are never more than 5-10% of the population in any given area (neighborhood, bar, etc). I reiterate, we aren't racial minorities or religious minorities. We are sexual minorities. It's almost like physics gets in the way when that happens. I don't honestly think Marothisu will understand that, and he sounds like a couple of white rappers I might not mention, you know? I generally respect his opinion, but don't like how he's presuming to be the expert here when he's not even gay.
Chicago will have the better gay scene simply because it's bigger and more cosmopolitan period, but I think if you were to contrast them with respect to their populations and overall global draw, Atlanta doesn't fair bad at all.
It's like how SF is simply better than Chicago at being both cosmopolitan and has a larger global draw, but it's a smaller city than Chicago.
Like I said before, Atlanta regularly tops the list for best gay cities. As far as gay population %, I think only SF and Seattle are higher.
My disagreements with Marothisu aren't disagreements on Chicago vs Atlanta. Chicago, for me, for all the reasons I've already lists. I just dispute him passing off a blank statement that most guys in Chicago aren't from the Midwest.
For the fourth (maybe third) time - you are completely missing my point and I'm not sure how. My point was that not all of them are from the midwest and you can't just blanket statement someone as in "Okay I'm in Chicago. I see these people, and they must be from the midwest." I've already stated many are from the midwest, but there are many that aren't and I was sharing who my friends were. How is this hard to understand? I'm sorry if I misinterpreted you before, but your assertation before came off that basically nobody in Chicago who is gay is from outside of the Midwest. My assertation is that yes, there are many people who are from outside of the midwest just like there's loads from the midwest.
There's a difference between saying who your personal friends are and saying "um, what the hell? No, not everyone is from the midwest" and saying that everyone outside of that group is from the midwest. It's a huge difference.
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I also don't care for Marothisu's attitude, as a straight man himself, that the gay scene in Chicago is super mixed and should be because that's how society should be (at least that's how his language comes across). Society should be tolerant and accepting and we should be able to be married, but wtf are we going to do if we do become mixed to the point where we are never more than 5-10% of the population in any given area (neighborhood, bar, etc). I reiterate, we aren't racial minorities or religious minorities. We are sexual minorities. It's almost like physics gets in the way when that happens. I don't honestly think Marothisu will understand that, and he sounds like a couple of white rappers I might not mention, you know? I generally respect his opinion, but don't like how he's presuming to be the expert here when he's not even gay.
I do understand what your point is, and my point before was that it's not going to be threatened. There is a difference between me hanging out with my friends, who are gay, at a normal restaurant, and me going to a gay bar 4 times per year. Do you seriously feel threatened that a straight guy is having dinner with 2 other gay guys at a Vietnamese restaurant?
A "mixed" scene to me doesn't mean loads of straight guys hanging out at gay bars, it means them being friends, and perhaps that is where our definitions differ. There's a lot of that going on, but it doesn't mean that they're all going to the gay bars every weekend - just sometimes. I've been to my fair share of gay bars, and parties, but in no way is that the norm for me to do that. It's a once in awhile thing, but at the same time I'm meeting people and I'm also hanging out with my friends like normal people do without all the pretension of what sexual orientation you are.
I also never said I'm an expert at all - I was giving my opinion of what my personal experience has been in my own city as someone with a number of gay friends as well as being introduced to them in general by proxy. I was trying to give a flavor of who I've met and also seen from just being out in general and observing. I never meant for my stuff to be taken as "expert" - I was just trying to show my observations.
I'm planning to make a move next year to a city of my choice. I've got it narrowed down to Atlanta or Chicago. I know they are very different cities/metros which is part of the appeal of each city.
Can anyone speak to the difference in gay male populations in each city? I realize it's hard to make generalizations but any insight would be helpful. Especially insight on what the dating scenes are and how they might differ.
Thanks.
I would venture to say that both cities are big enough, with big enough gay populations, to have a significant number of subculture divisions within them. In other words, while, for example, the bear and leather scenes may be bigger in Chicago than Atlanta, I'm sure they exist and are big enough to absorb other bears or leather fans in Atlanta, too.
That said, I think just the fact that Illinois has more legal protections for gay men and women than Georgia does is a pretty big deal, worthy of tipping the scales in your decision. Atlanta's a great city too, but unless winter is a deal-breaker I think having legal protections is worth the peace of mind.
I'm gay and lived in NYC for a couple years in my 20's. It's the #1 biggest gay population in the country and I had good times. But now that I'm 30, I can't even think about moving to another big gay city. So now it's time for me to settle down and buy a house in Connecticut. I don't know why people in these forums think that just because someone is gay, they must move to a big city. Not all gays like city life. Am I weird for doing what I want to do now, at 30?
I'm gay and lived in NYC for a couple years in my 20's. It's the #1 biggest gay population in the country. But now that I'm 30, I can't even think about moving to another big gay city. So now it's time for me to settle down and buy a house in Connecticut. I don't know why people in these forums think that just because someone is gay, they must move to a big city. Not all gays like city life.
This thread isn't about you, or NYC, or Connecticut. The op wants to move to a city, in particular Atlanta or Chicago, and is asking for opinions.
I'm gay and lived in NYC for a couple years in my 20's. It's the #1 biggest gay population in the country and I had good times. But now that I'm 30, I can't even think about moving to another big gay city. So now it's time for me to settle down and buy a house in Connecticut. I don't know why people in these forums think that just because someone is gay, they must move to a big city. Not all gays like city life. Am I weird for doing what I want to do now, at 30?
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Originally Posted by CravingMountains
This thread isn't about you, or NYC, or Connecticut. The op wants to move to a city, in particular Atlanta or Chicago, and is asking for opinions.
Yes, nep321, you are weird, and yes, CravingMountains is right that this thread isn't about you and your deviant desires for suburbia.
...
The most mixed environment I have seen is the work environment in the tech sector, strong here in the Bay Area. Tech sector is soooo gay/male dominated, but it forces friendships and professional relationships between gays and straights where there otherwise would be minimal interaction. Chicago, to my knowledge, doesn't have that.
Chicago has a bigger marketing industry than San Francisco - plenty of both gay and straight men in marketing. And, shocker, gay men don't only cluster in one industry. The pure tech industry is huge in the Bay Area - the tech sector in Chicago is also very large, but much of it is within existing other industries. All those big "old" industries still have strong tech components, all of which have a lot of (predominantly) male workers. Some of those men are gay, and they socialize with straight people, too. Chicago has a pretty long history of being a good place for gay men to take up residence, from its frontier town days, to it's roots as being a Bohemian and anarchist hotspot, to it being home to the first gay-rights group in the Western Hemisphere, to it being in Illinois, the first state to decriminalize sodomy, to being the first city to officially recognize and honor a neighborhood as being a gay neighborhood, to having a Stonewall anniversary pride march for as many years as New York has had, to it hosting the St. Patty's Day parade that was one of the first (maybe the first?) one to allow openly gay participants decades before New York or Boston did or will. You'd have to be really, really provincial to think that only San Francisco has a history of acceptance for gay men and women, or that San Francisco's acceptance is universal and unblemished (Harvey Milk's story is as much tragedy as inspiration, after all).
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Originally Posted by jsimms3
Two, you are now implying most of your [gay] friends are not from the Midwest, and you phrase it so subtly, too ("though I've met my fair share of guys from the Midwest at parties"). Sidenote: you're a straight guy going to all these gay parties?? Not that there's anything wrong with that, but why? You're not getting anything out of them, unless you're there to prey on girls who go knowing they won't be hit on all the time by all the guys.
Another shocker: sometimes people go to parties for reasons that have nothing to do with sex.
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Originally Posted by jsimms3
I live in a FAR FAR FAR more transient city than you (SF, yes it is, so is DC, so is NYC), and yet most of the guys I meet are from the west coast. How on earth are you mostly meeting guys from Abu Dhabi and Germany and Singapore and anywhere but the Midwest in lil ol Chicago? It doesn't even sound real.
The majority of people in Chicago are from the midwest. But if one prefers to meet people from outside the midwest it is not that difficult. I work for a small company and about 1/3 of our people are international. Our CEO is German. Our CTO is Indian, our COO is Russian, we have workers from Belarus, Russia, Serbia, the Philippines, India, Kenya, China, Korea, Taiwan, and probably other places (I don't go around asking people), as well as Florida, California, New York, Oregon, Tennessee, Texas, etc.
As an Airbnb host, I've had visitors from over 35 different countries, from every populated continent, from Kazakhstan to Riyadh to Zimbabwe to Venezuela to New Zealand to Sweden and many others. People from outside the U.S. definitely come to Chicago.
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Originally Posted by jsimms3
I'm a transient. I'm from FL. I feel like a geographic minority here in SF, but not like an outsider. I suspect it would be the same thing for me in Chicago (geographic minority), except Chicago, like Boston, has FAR FAR FAR more of a local establishment that is tougher to penetrate. I think everyone but you will agree with me there.
Having lived in both Boston and Chicago, getting integrated into Chicago was far easier than Boston. Other than surface similarities, there's really not even a point in comparing them they're so different culturally.
I said it tongue in cheek. That said, I think anyone who prefers the suburbs over the city is weird - gay, straight, or whatever.
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Men in Atlanta tend more effeminate in my opinion (generally speaking) with exceptions of course, and though"Southern" not as friendly or down-to-earth as Chicago.
