Single working mom of a 5 year old looking to move (living, best)
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Hi everyone I am a 32 year old Indian mom , recently divorced , currently living in Indiana. My city has less Indians and I don’t mind it. Now I love that I am Indian , my world hasn’t ended after divorce, I like my freedom, I am successful and my child is happy and we coparent pretty well. How ever , I am ready to move to a warmer place where jobs are easier to get , I was lucky to still be employed during the pandemic but I was looking at Atlanta . Sure the traffic is bad But worse case I lose a job I have several options . Now coming to my personal situation, I like celebrating Indian festivals with my child and since the Indian population is less here , I manage by without any judgement . I am tempted to move to Atlanta, I have a job offer too. And I know my life will be easier . But my question is how bad is the desi judgement there ? I have been raised very independent and my goal is my child can have a normal life( I don’t want school to be extra tough cause I don’t push my child to extra classes to be a genius , she is allowed to be her own person ) and I am also living my life , I go on dates and have friends . As much as I love my desi fam I am so petrified of I am crossing the line to trade snow for a whole lot of judgement . What if I stay in an India. Neighborhood and have all desi neighbors for good school district , but then I am the talk of brown group and get left out and my kid feels bad too cause am the single mom who wears shorts . Let’s be honest , we all have faced judgement . Come on before anyone gets defensive , let’s roll back to our culture and how women have been suppressed , tell me 10 years back was it easy to be even gay in India or remember how tough dating was , marrying out of caste was a sin. I can be very non involved but my daughter . I say this because we have a family friend in New Delhi though , she is a restaurant owner and a single mom , but her own society people call her “ hotel w…..” why cause she has a life and balls to claim her freedom.
Please be frank . Will it be an easy change ? Right now I do go one dates but the Indian men I have met have only judged me , someone even asked me “ why he did he leave you” that not his fault that how we treat our girls .to assume the girl has been left . Or to assume that the girl wears a slightlyfashionable Lehengaa cause hey her man dropped her so poor thing is on the hunt .
I want to mention I finished school at Chicago booth and I earn enough , I can support a house husband ! Hahah but I don’t want to ( just saying …)
Please I repeat ,my culture is my pride , I am proud Hindu ; I do Diwali and I host Holi parties , but I also know the judgement I know the gossiping .
How can you co-parent well if you and your child live hundreds of miles away from the other parent? I'm 100% focused on the kid. When you have a child, some of your "independence" has to be put aside. They depend on you too much to have so much focus on what makes you happy. Their needs and our wants are WAY different and theirs has to come first. Otherwise, you shouldn't have children. So when we have children, those obligations have to be met. The child shouldn't have to pay the price for the split between you and your ex. They've already suffered enough having to deal with a broken home. You guys have to place the burden on you, not the kid. And the "I have to be happy first" mentality is the epitome of selfishness. That (along with "my child is so happy") is just a cover to justify putting what you want ahead of WANT your child NEEDS. Not saying you necessarily believe that way, but I can just hear some of the comments now. We live in a very self-centered society. I'm 56 years old had have seen way too make kids get screwed over by parents who made stupid decisions where the kids have to pay the consequences for as the parents selfishly "get on with their lives". If your ex is willing to move to Atlanta or wherever you go, than cool. Otherwise, as long as your kid loves their other parent and has a good relationship with them, it would be horrible on the child to leave. The kid really won't have a true home, only two places they're perpetually visiting. That's just unconscionable! Try that yourself and see how you would like that. Not trying to be mean, I just can't stand to see kids have stresses put on them that they will affect them for the rest of their lives. No matter what, the best of luck.
I agree -- How will you "co-parent" a day's worth of travel apart? Is the father going to approve of this? You'll need his approval, like it or not. Is the JUDGE going to approve? (VERY unlikely.) What do your divorce papers say? Chances are, the kid is to remain in school in a particular district, and if you remove your child and move them across the country without the proper measures, you can get yourself into a heap load of trouble.
Coparent if not an issue , both her dad and I will move ! We have the same employer , even WE put her ahead of everything, the reason I posted this is I don’t want my child to feel left out cause she has a single mom . Indian community judgement is harsh.
First of all, I think Atlanta is far more diverse than Indiana, so I wouldn't worry there. But, why are you really moving? Doesn't make sense.
I want to move to a warmer climate and better job options .
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