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Old 07-08-2012, 07:04 PM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
33,942 posts, read 22,519,045 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by villageidiot1 View Post
If you are located in central to eastern Ohio, you might want to look at these DIII schools that have men's swimming.

Grove City
Westminster
Washington & Jefferson
Saint Vincent
Bethany
Allegheny College
Penn State Behrend
Gannon (DII)

Regarding the difference between DII and DIII, your son will find the time commitment will be just as high in DIII.
Oh, thank you for those. I looked up one and the times seemed very doable for him; though they were expensive, a quick quiz indicated he might qualify for some financial aid.

I feel like I am doing this all on my own (I am; I'm a single mom) but he is not helping at ALL. He wouldn't even give me names of colleges he wants to see; I just scheduled a visit at Miami because we both liked it. I also scheduled one at WVU but I see with out of state tuition - it might not be doable for us (we just moved here two years ago). I just assumed he would go there but we moved and . . now things have changed and I didn't change plans fast enough.

He just acts like it's really a matter of supreme indifference; I had him fill out some responses to the swimming colleges that have written to him; he said he had completed the athletic website but he had not - a fee is required to declare your eligibility so I paid that TODAY.

I'm having chest pain about it and he seems like he could care less. I've been up since 4 am to attend one of his meets and I'm thinking he should be taking a little more active interest in all this. I can't solve it all today; and this week I must travel a bit for my job - I'm just going to try and complete one or two tasks this week and break it down that way. He told me today that he's tired of talking about colleges. (What!)

So . . the other part of me just wants to step back until he comes up with some colleges he would like to see; a plan to improve his ACT score; and some indication that he has an interest in his own future.

He's very hardworking when it comes to his swimming - leaves every morning at 5:30 for practice; coaches and guards to make money but that's as much as he's willing or able to do.

I apologize for venting; tomorrow will be a better day and he is probably just a typical teen-ager.
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Old 07-09-2012, 09:02 AM
 
Location: Edmond, OK
4,030 posts, read 10,761,670 times
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Don't think that just because you do not live in WV you won't be able to obtain in-state tuition. Lots of schools offer out of state kids in-state tuition. All the schools my sons looked at offered in-state tuition if the student receive any type of scholarship from the university. Also, some offer in-state tuition to students from neighboring states. You just never know what he might be offered. One of my sons was offered a scholarship and in-state tuition to Ohio State. He applied because they sent him a brochure and offered to waive the application fee if he would just apply. So he applied, and was surprised when he received his scholarship offer. He was a good student, but not tops in his class. He did have a good ACT score though. This happened for both my kids at several different schools. He didn't choose OSU, but he did end up at another state school, in another state and he is paying in-state tuition.

I had trouble building a fire under both of my boys at first too. I had to push them along. It wasn't so much that they weren't interested, they just never seemed to have a sense of urgency about it. It may be because here, most kids just go to one of the 3 large state schools and there's no rush to apply. No letters of rec were required. Essays were not required. It's rolling admissions. A couple of the bigger schools here, you can actually wait up until the month school starts to apply. Neither of mine wanted to stay in state, because we had only lived here a couple of years and they had no ties to the state. However, since no one else seemed to be in any rush, they just didn't think they needed to be either. The school counselors didn't do much at all to help. It's pretty much assumed everyone will just go to a state school, so it's not a big deal. It took my oldest missing the application deadline to a school he was really interested in, to get him motivated.

Also, yes, it is very important to visit the schools, but I agree with the poster that mentioned that you need to do so during the school year when he can actually interact with students and see them "in action". This is why both my kids ended up where they are. My oldest attended the same university my husband did. He had been on that campus many, many times during his life but it was always on weekends, holidays, summers, etc. Never during the school year, on a weekday. He didn't think he really wanted to go there. He wasn't all that impressed with the campus itself and just assumed it wasn't where he wanted to go. He applied anyway, but really just to appease his dad, nothing more. However, when it came time to actually make the final decision I took him for one last campus visit. We were there during the week, while classes were in full swing. He fell in love with the people there and quickly realized that's where he wanted to be. I don't know how many times he's thanked me for making him go for that one last visit. This is also why my other son did not choose Ohio State. He really thought that was where he wanted to go. He loved the campus itself, but after visiting during the school year and interacting with students, he quickly figured out it was not a good fit for him.
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Old 07-09-2012, 06:22 PM
 
20,793 posts, read 61,294,149 times
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FinAid | Calculators

I would go here and get an estimate of what your Expected Family Contribution is based on your income and assets. That is a VERY helpful number to know. If your EFC is low, I would then suggest you work off of this list: Which Colleges Claim to Meet Students' Full Financial Need? - US News and World Report

These schools will meet 100% of your need-meaning if your EFC is say $5000 and the school costs $50,000, they will come up with $45,000 for you. Some of that will be student loans but there are caps on how much they can make you take in loan aid-currently $27,000 over 4 years total ($5500 the first year, and each year gets a bit higher).

It also helps you calculate your net cost. Each school has a net price calculator on their website somewhere. I have a spreadsheet with those numbers for our two who are seniors this fall as well. It's just too much to keep track of. I put in how much the school costs, any automatic merit aid the school gives and any other scholarships I know they will get. It is nice to have a visual. So far, all of the private schools they are considering are coming in WAY less than our state schools. Two out of state schools are coming around those private school prices too.

Don't be intimidated by the sticker cost of a school until you run these numbers. So far our most expensive school, net cost to us is $17,000 without loans. We don't qualify for any federal aid so that is just merit aid. Most of the schools are in the $15,000-17,000 range.
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Old 07-10-2012, 12:56 AM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
24,099 posts, read 32,454,883 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ringo1 View Post
Who can help me through this process? Are there financial planners that focus strictly on College issues?

Or is there some consultant out there that can help me figure out - is he eligible for scholarships; how/where to apply and look; how best to place the money I have saved for his college (it won't pay for all of it).

I feel lost. I have scheduled two visits to two colleges that he has mentioned. To further complicate the process, he is deciding if he wants to swim in college - which will narrow him most likely to
D2 and D3 schools. We have not looked at any of these so far.

Should we visit some of the ones that are sending him letters - even though he is not sure he wants to go there and they are fairly far away?

This could be a full-time job depending on which set of parents I talk to!
My son is entering college in the Fall. I felt pretty panicked around this time last year, and I have lots of experience with this.

It's all so different when it's YOUR KID and YOUR FIRST.

Send me a direct message. I'd be glad to help.
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Old 07-10-2012, 01:00 AM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
24,099 posts, read 32,454,883 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
With a 3.4 that is going prevent any merit aid unless he has a 32 or better on the ACT. Swimming at the DIII level is a great way to get involved in an activity on campus while not having to devote the time a scholarship athlete would to the sport. It's still time probably not more than he is putting in on his high school team. I would strongly encourage him to seek out D3 schools with ok, not great, swim teams. Email the coaches about his interest in the school and include times. The nice thing about sports like swimming is your time is your time and there really isn't much subjectivity about it. He can look on the various websites to see where he sits for times.

Many smaller state schools are D3, depending on the state, so that is a place to start. It is something that you should probably get going on this week as most kids are past this step in the process.
Not everywhere.
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Old 07-10-2012, 08:35 AM
 
18,836 posts, read 37,355,088 times
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Quote:
He just acts like it's really a matter of supreme indifference; I had him fill out some responses to the swimming colleges that have written to him; he said he had completed the athletic website but he had not - a fee is required to declare your eligibility so I paid that TODAY.
If he is not cooperating on this, I would not stress about it. Just let it all fall thru, and don't pay any fees or anything. You should not be working harder on this than he is...if it all falls in, that is a learning experience for him, let him just work next year...because he did not do the paperwork required to attend college. Nothing like a job of hard manual labor at minimum wage to create an incentive for attending college.

You are a single Mom, maybe it is time to have a reality check...I had this reality "Come to Jesus" meeting with my son, who was going on tours with his friends to all these fancy colleges...I told him he could live at home for free, go to community college, and transfer to a four year college by our house, and have no student loan. Or, he could go to a fancy college, get the same degree, and have about $50K in loans to pay back...his choice, but we looked at the payments on student loans, and current salaries...he decided to just stay home, and go to community college. Sure, it did not have the fancy hockey programs...but he was not going to get a full ride tuition, books, living expenses, on a hockey program, and he did not want to put in the time for it...

This was our reality, I could just not afford to pay for what he wanted. Your son is an adult...I suggest you start treating him like one.
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Old 07-10-2012, 11:14 AM
 
11,635 posts, read 12,698,340 times
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I didn't realize that you were a single mom. I commend you for raising your son, for despite his apathy for the college admission process, sounds like a truly fine young man. The fact that you were able to handle all the time involved for the swinming is very impressive and a 3.4 GPA is nothing to sneeze about. College is probably not real to him. It's the future. It's "later." If he's an only child or your oldest, he doesn't have any siblings who have traveled down this road before and if you talk about what it was like back in "your day," you might get a lot of eye rolling. It's a tough balance trying to encourage your child to be proactive and do things on their own and at the same time, have their back. Some of the potential mistakes that they can make at this point in time due to immaturity or naivety, unfortunately cannot be rectified that easily later so I understand why you are taking charge. And I also understand how overwhelming this is. Most parents seemed to feel the same way, even if they were not single parents, which of course makes it much harder. Although my college bound child was in a different situation, we were still negeotiating with various schools in July, long after the May 1 acceptance deadline, and while most of the kids were already picking out their roomate and buying dorm room supplies. We actually ended up with an out of state school, sight unseen, because there was no time (or money) to pay a visit.

I also wanted to say that I had a few friends and co-workers who did everything "by the book" with college visits and applications, all at the right time. They made their decisions and thought that they picked the appropriate school. Despite all the homework and research, their kids were miserable and ended up transferring or taking off a semester and going to a different school after only spending one or 2 semesters at the original college. It happens. Like a new job, or moving to a new city, or buying a new house, you really don't know what it's going to be like until you are there for a period of time. So please don't kill yourself or agonize over this too much. Just do the best that you can.
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Old 07-10-2012, 11:35 AM
 
11,635 posts, read 12,698,340 times
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I also wanted to add a little information that I learned about college admission and believe me, it was an eye opener for me, as I found out, at a certain level, it was quite a racket.

Most colleges, unless they are a specialized school or a religious institution, look for a diverse freshman class. They have quotas for gender, socioeconomic class, geographic location, and interests. Yeah, some are not supposed to have quotas for race or religion or gender, but they do. And all the applicants are competing against each other to be part of the yield. So if you are applying to Ohio schools, then your son is competing against all of the other thousands of applicants from Ohio. But if you apply to another region, then the school might be more interested since they may be looking for more applicants from the mid-west or a location that doesn't send that many applications and/or fit the profile that your son has. If the school wants you, then they are more flexible with financial aid. Also, I wanted to add, that if a school does offer you financial aid and your son is interested in that school, but it's not enough money, DO NOT be afraid to speak to the financial aid officer and ask for more. And if they raise it only a little more, ask again.
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Old 07-10-2012, 11:37 AM
 
2,612 posts, read 5,584,890 times
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I disagree with some of the posters about letting it all go since he's not interested. My parents did that with one of my siblings and that sibling not only never got a degree, but has been homeless off and on throughout life and continues to require our support due to not being able to make a living. It would have been better to force him to at least get some kind of marketable degree so he wouldn't be completely unemployable. If you are a single mom, then you can't afford to keep supporting him forever. I can't say for sure because I'm not in your position, but I'd probably take charge and just make the decisions myself as I saw fit. He certainly is not in a position to make sound financial and academic decisions right now - you are. I would suggest don't let him fail just yet, but as he doesn't seem to have preferences why not just push him toward smart choices, and certainly don't spend a lot of money on an expensive school when he doesn't even care.
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Old 07-10-2012, 12:35 PM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
33,942 posts, read 22,519,045 times
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Thanks guys; I have taken some positive (I hope) steps. His level of caring seems to have raised a bit; perhaps the low ACT score was a real eye-opener. That, and the fact that he knows he only has two more chances to take it AND that it is not reflective of his GPA.

He readily agreed to take a prep course that I found locally; with the time crunch we are in - I am not going to leave it to him to read a book and have that be it. He will be reading a book - but will have some coaching as well. I gave him a deadline of tomorrow to respond to the 3 letters of interest that he got - that we looked at on line and seemed to be interesting to him.

I scheduled a session with an in-house financial counselor next week to go over what I have saved; how to roll it over until next year; and what we can realistically handle as far as total costs per year. That is a free service provided by my employer so I might as well take advantage of it. If the college is much more expensive than that - well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

These are definitely things I should have done sooner; but I'm glad I came on here and learned some things. Frankly, I think I was afraid to face it all ~ but here it is anyway! I will not be hiring a consultant to get us through the process; that was a universal consensus.

I do remember that on 'Senior Night' last year, which was in April, a lot of the swimmers were still undecided. So - we're still in the ballgame as far as he being up in the air about where he wants to go.

But I AM a little obsessive about it right now ~ and I am probably driving my son (any co-workers) a little crazy so I really like to come on here and vent and read everyone else's experiences!

I've come this far with my son and I'm not about to drop the ball now; if he needs some nudging then he'll get some nudging - until I know that I've given him every opportunity to succeed ~ the rest is up to him. That's the only way I can sleep at night.

Thanks so much; I'm still learning.
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