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I think it really depends on the person. My husband has a PhD but hates to be called "Dr." (I think he's afraid that one day he will be expected to deliver a baby on a plane!) but he has colleagues who would also take you to task if you didn't address them as such.
My closest friend also has a PhD, and I know she was miserable while working on that degree, and when I send her cards, etc. I always write "Dr." because I have a feeling that she wants to be addressed that way, and she earned it.
So in general, I would say it's better to err on the side of formality- though I don't think it was necessary for that professor to lecture you. I think a simple, "It's Dr. ____" would have sufficed.
I think your husband is just a normal great man. Intelegant and kind. Careing and honest and most of all a good friend and great dad if one. The reasons he does not need to be called doctor is because he is successfull in life. ( money and family) the two to me are life success . He does not need strangers to know he's a doctor to try to prove how or who he is in life. He is NORMAL He is just the read deal period.
I have a doctorate and beside my family and my 4 closest friends no one knows from my telling that I have one who cares really. Only a jack off needs to advertise it. What does it prove he's successfull or wealthy. Not to brag or impress then again. O one knows me here so how could I be trying to do anything but make a point. Threw my 20s never made less then 300,000 year after 24. Threw my 30s double that. And now 43 make over 1,000,000.00 take home a year. So point is maybe 1/10 of 1 % of the worlds doctors make more then I do a d I worked way way way harder over the years a student or resident was in education mode found what I do, manufacture wigs. The hours I worked months in China away from family. Eating foods I would give names. Setting up and dealing with the government and workers who constructed my buildings. And when I say government if anyone had any idea the work and stress created trying to get permits and all legal documents necessary to build and own property in a country when're almost every business and comercial building is GOvernmet ownened and operated and more or less they want to controle the businesses Their so it makes t real hard. And all this win a China born Partner, that I'd necessary to do so.
I am just saying the work was harder and I make much more. Do I deserve a title like Master of the business world then my name. It's so stupid. The more money I make I find I wear shorts and jeans ever showing exterior money. All the rolexes and Cartier stupid stuff is in the draws
And see light for a weeding or new year night. I have learned people happy and successfull never talk about it. You will never hear a rich person ( rich I define as over 10 million cash in bank and all the toys cars and homes including summer and Italian villa paid for) you won't hear I have or I made this like me now I will never. Be know. Here and still feel funny. A DOCTOR should be called Dr at work only. If they need to be Dr outside work Theor just a ******* person. They treat even family like a jerk off. And god for bid they have money. They hold it over Their kids heads money controle gets them respect from them. That's because a Dbag can't get respect from Their own children without it because I need to be Doctor is a example of their whole lives outlook. My parents were solid have pRoperty and stuff but had 7.3 million at 72. They kept 2.3 mill for themselves and gave the rest toe and my sister last year. Their reason was your both successfull and not need this. It won't change your life. But we want you to to sped it. My sister got a new home with half other half the INTREST pays her taxes and electric n stuff. I had the home so I got a boat. Not just any boat waited for bank take More or less i could sell it for 6 to. 900,000 more a year after or today I could profit on it. And and what I had left covers the storage and expences on it for. 5 to 6 years if used 3 times a week. I use it 1 time. Why we did this to make them happy. They wanted to see their kids live it up why they live it with us. Not like controle call me DR freaks. They LEAVE it so when they die they give up controle.
You say why all this. I just made a point a Dick head person needs the DR and the stuff I said follows. The money controle and watch the dick Dr you know some they will do whe I said. And follow the one like your Hubby. He will be like my parents. Those two letters D R. And how someone reacts to Theor title tells you about Theor whole life. Two little letters. I don't get it. Money gives you one thing. Free Time. Time to relax. Spend. Enjoy family. Time. Good time yes. But that's it. And Dr and money usually go hand and hand. So it's about me me me and money money and controle. To the roots to the basic. You have to call me doctor I earned it. Is like saying. I am a rotten person. I will make money so some people like my own kids will at least act and pretend they like or love me. And I will love if my daughter marries some dumb guy who fails at work. So they can want to beg me for money I'd neve give. Because my joy watching them stress like a failing fish flopping on a dock grasping for a breath of oxygenated water that never comes. And my reasoning to my wife ( who wants to help her child but can't tell me because even though to I buy her a 42,000 Rolex to go with her. 6 kt rock to let everyone see I got money even when I'm not around ). She won't ask or tell me to give money of fear or knowing how I will react.). I have 6 million and 15 ,000 would remove my child's stress. This is where I teach and say. I had nothing at your age. All you kids want it all today. You know the hours I worked and years at school I have committed. If I give you the money I am teaching you nothing. You must learn the value of money and I want you to learn. That guy who demands to be DR. Has controle. He's a dick head. Oh his daughter that 15 k could save her and her hubby. She's a school teacher and he works 80 hrs a week and a 80 year business His grand pop started that is dying just cuz the internet took. 50% of his sales. And not his fails or fail at all. Point their angels but the DR loves the controle. And how hard he worked and how he is successfull. I went on and on sorry. I just lived it. One is me my family. The Doctor is my sister in Law. And know how I k is the DR thing is a tell of the whole person. And the DR thing is a controle *******. I or me and my baby gave her sister 100,000 in a bag in her closet. We said. Nothing. She tha led her father and he took credit. 6 months my wife said you can't barass him. I said why. You need his love only. You dwarf him as a person and we dwarf him financially End result I said we need to not for acknoladgement he needs a lesson. So I was allowed to tell the father this. Tool Jim to dinner ( I always pay not DR. d head ) and said. Dr Dad ( what I have to call my father In law). I wanted that money to be a Suprise be a gift from no one. Gift from god. No one to feel I owe or gotta thank for a decade. Says nothing. But let's finish dinner. Takes me home and offers me a check for 100k and says lets keep it this way. Make it easy because my wife is happy with me. And I figured out then. The reason we went to dinner was we did not speak or he not to me in 4 months. Even over xmass at the table. He didn't talk to me because I gave his daughter money. Not the act. But her hogging and I love you daddy and missind his ass. And his wife being "so proud of him". He was pissed at me that he k ES he would have to give me the 100k cuz he never want everyone to know they were so happy impressed a d proud of him. My got explain to your wife you took credit for 100k and lied to your wife and girl why not allowing your othe daughter n son n law feel happy they could help their sister their family. So I took it knowing I'd never cash it. My wife that was not embarrass my daddy. I said how about your mommy. He made her thing was him that's sick. What was always obious we knew. This was a excuse or last straw where my wife could not be babe don't who cares. As it ate at me. So I said ( what she agreed). Dr Dad. This is a mess here is your check I do t want the money. But tell your wife the truth I don't want or care if your daughter knows. But you can't lie to my mom n law. Dr treated me like he only knows. Controle. I'm DR. He says. You take that check and keep your mouth shut or else. So I say I do not need not want your money ripped the check and handed it to him. Shook his hand and gave my word I will never ever tell your wife this lie if she finds out it will it come from my lips. I leave as he believes or wonders. I must be great the DR. He can buy me and I controle him. No dr dick head. I respect my wife your daughter. I go home. I tell my wife I gave check back and I promised I'd never tell her mom. And that on way home invited her sis over for pasta on Sunday. And said have I do e anything wrong here. She said your selfless you did what no one would do. I asked you belief or tuink I desire credit. She said you left it not me you cold have got it if I needed it. I said. Your father and I haven't talked 4 months and are not the same because he lied. My wife. AGREE babe. It's gonnebe worse score better. Agree babe. I am going to tell your sister and make a decision now. Ask me to move out of out home or back me without ever a hint of anything but I did the good then rite thing. She knew what was going to happen. She said that night. Your rite. You need to be first to make him feel the pressure he puts on everyone. You are not wrong by telling the truth. Ok wife thanks. But I promised not to tell ur mom and I aint. And I will not discuss. But the reasoning and decisions made here and treating me like a distant stranger for months. Hurt me and if I can't tell truth it will erode this family. Ur rite babe make love to me. Last we spoke of it. Told my sissy. Dr daddy You calling my Dr daddy a lier. Leaves the house. He husband said. I knew it was you. For obious. But here this is yours. What is it. It is your passport you lost last month. It was in side zipper of bag u left. I'll tell her truth. A year later. Her mom. Her sis are best ever. Her pop won't speak to me. Or his daughter my wife. And 2 yo nothing. But. 11 year old cont get why DR pop pop don't talk to him anymore. So a DR have to be called runs deep. This is all of call me doctor people. Thought it was a interesting story. And your saying. He's jus a jerk. Trust me. He did one jerk thing. But all other things are their in every call me DR. Watch you'll see now I brought it up to sea lever. LoL. Enjoy your Doctor. He's a normal dude. Real deal. But you already know that. Don't you
may i point out that this is a five year old thread revived by a first time poster supposedly taking home over a million a year thanks to his doctorate
I remember being confronted in college by a professor for calling her Miss. versus Doctor. There was no malice or disrespected intended on my part, but she found it necessary to correct me. She explained how she worked hard for many years to accomplish that goal. I of course didn't argue and gave her what she wanted, but in my back of my head I always wondered why something so petty could be looked at as disrespectful. Was I out of line or is it disrespectful to call a professor with a doctorate Mr/Ms?
Yes. If someone has invested their time & effort in getting a Ph.D that should be respected and they should be called Dr.
The same thing happened to me. I was talking with my professor and she corrected me in a simple and nice way. I understand that she is very young and wants to feel "respected". However, I believe you should respect any person regardless of their title. I am getting my masters degree and I am also planning to pursue a Phd.
What I learned:
1. A reminder of the importance of staying humble even after you get a Phd.
2. Be careful on the way you address people since some people can be sensitive about it.
The same thing happened to me. I was talking with my professor and she corrected me in a simple and nice way. I understand that she is very young and wants to feel "respected". However, I believe you should respect any person regardless of their title. I am getting my masters degree and I am also planning to pursue a Phd.
What I learned:
1. A reminder of the importance of staying humble even after you get a Phd.
2. Be careful on the way you address people since some people can be sensitive about it.
The titles are much more important in academia. They just are. And it is absolutely not a function of being "humble" but rather an important distinction that helps remind students who work closely with their profs what the nature of their relationship is. I have seen too many ugs forget that a friendly prof is still not their friend and have issues arise from that. The title and it's appropriate use by everyone is a good reminder. So while it may not be that you are crossing the line, as a grad student you have an obligation to always use the correct terms so ugs remember as well.
My thesis advisor is also a friend and before I completed my graduate work I always made sure to address her as Dr. in front of other students, especially undergrads.
Always first names for me.
I call my surgeon and oncologist by their first names.
I am the customer, they are the vendor.
Physicians aren't "vendors" and calling your physician by their first name doesn't make you "cool" or "hip" or what ever you think you are accomplishing by demeaning a professional who has earned their title....
Your surgeon and oncologist probably have a "name" they use for you to....just not to your face....
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