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Old 12-08-2009, 08:46 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,263,329 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by let it go View Post
Thanks for the thoughts. No, I am not against alcohol....enjoy a glass of wine or two now and again. I just think that if I am paying as much money as I know I'll be paying for my son to go to college...I would like him to do more than drink. All I hear form many college students is about the drunken parties. I just think there must be more to discovering oneself than drunkeness!
The real question is, is this equally important to your son?

Even "dry" campuses are hard pressed to be truly dry. If he wants to spend any amount of time drinking/partying, the opportunity will be there, case closed. If it's NOT something important to him, encourage him to find a campus like others have suggested, that has some housing set aside for those who opt for a substance-free lifestyle. However, I knew quite a few people who chose substance-free housing who were anything but...they just did their recreational activities elsewhere...most of them were kids in super competitive programs who wanted really, really quiet and calm residential setups for studying purposes.
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Old 12-08-2009, 10:41 PM
 
Location: Florida
1,782 posts, read 3,926,972 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by let it go View Post
Thanks for the thoughts. No, I am not against alcohol....enjoy a glass of wine or two now and again. I just think that if I am paying as much money as I know I'll be paying for my son to go to college...I would like him to do more than drink. All I hear form many college students is about the drunken parties. I just think there must be more to discovering oneself than drunkeness!
Two choices- religious or military.

Texas A&M is a very good univeristy, and the student body is far more conservative and less prone to alcohol and drugs than most other univerisities.

The lowest drug/alcohol use is mostly military and some religious affiliated colleges.
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Old 12-09-2009, 01:01 PM
 
Location: California
37,042 posts, read 41,967,329 times
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I sent my daughter to one of the biggest party schools around, even knowing she was a bit immature and on the wild side. I figured she should just go get it all out of her system and, for the most part, she did. Sometimes being in the thick of things and getting all those experiences makes you grow up faster then being more sheltered does. She definitely knows what "too much of a good thing" means and how it negatively effects peoples lives. She had a lot of fun but as graduation draws near she is anxious to get out of that environment.
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Old 12-09-2009, 05:55 PM
 
5,019 posts, read 14,074,922 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by let it go View Post
Thanks for the thoughts. No, I am not against alcohol....enjoy a glass of wine or two now and again. I just think that if I am paying as much money as I know I'll be paying for my son to go to college...I would like him to do more than drink. All I hear form many college students is about the drunken parties. I just think there must be more to discovering oneself than drunkeness!
Time to let go.

Much will depend upon his choice of major and his choice of friends.

Much will also depend upon the core values you instilled upon him as a child and a young man.

Good luck and best wishes.
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Old 12-09-2009, 08:25 PM
 
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Just because you hear about college students drinking doesn't mean that is all every student does. According to data collected by the Department of Education, the amount of alcohol consumed by college students has remained relatively steady since WWII. So your son is no more likely to spend his college career drinking than you were.

Your son should pick his college based on which one offers him the best academic experience. The rest of his life will be affected by this choice.
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Old 12-16-2009, 06:47 AM
 
Location: Turn Left at Greenland
17,763 posts, read 39,583,552 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by let it go View Post
Thanks for the thoughts. No, I am not against alcohol....enjoy a glass of wine or two now and again. I just think that if I am paying as much money as I know I'll be paying for my son to go to college...I would like him to do more than drink. All I hear form many college students is about the drunken parties. I just think there must be more to discovering oneself than drunkeness!
drunken parties are a choice. if you don't want your son to participate in such foolishness, then urge him not to do it since you are paying. i went to a little liberal arts college in indiana and yea, there were drunken parties, but there was also a network of people who did other things sans drinking during the weekends. I imbibed some, but for the most part, I got together for movie nights or general puttering around when I didn't feel like getting poo-faced.

CHOICES! There are choices no matter where one goes to college. That's part of college.
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Old 12-16-2009, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Napa, CA
151 posts, read 396,118 times
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Respectfully, this question seems completely misguided. The press loves to report on the occasional binge drinking death and Hollywood is obsessed with portraying college as some sort of perpetual orgy of libation and bacchanalia...no normal person really buys in to this.

I've worked at three different universities, large and small, public and private. Do college kids drink? Yes...some of them. Do some of them drink too much...yes. Is there any school in the country where a kid who doesn't want to drink can't find a social circle of like minded kids? Not that I've seen.

In my experience, pressure to drink is much more likely to come from internal voices than external ones. If you think your son is going to show up on day one to a chorus of "chug chug chug," you're acting a bit naive. The vast majority of college kids who do drink aren't pressuring those around them to do the same.

I'd be more preoccupied with examining how independent and strong my child is rather than the reputation of a particular campus. There are both desirable and undesirable social circles at any university, and ultimately, it's his own life choices that will determine whether or not his college experience is a successful one. Think more about the academic reputation of the school, the quality of life, the cost, etc.
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Old 12-16-2009, 02:38 PM
 
Location: Turn Left at Greenland
17,763 posts, read 39,583,552 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FentonForche View Post
Respectfully, this question seems completely misguided. The press loves to report on the occasional binge drinking death and Hollywood is obsessed with portraying college as some sort of perpetual orgy of libation and bacchanalia...no normal person really buys in to this.

I've worked at three different universities, large and small, public and private. Do college kids drink? Yes...some of them. Do some of them drink too much...yes. Is there any school in the country where a kid who doesn't want to drink can't find a social circle of like minded kids? Not that I've seen.

In my experience, pressure to drink is much more likely to come from internal voices than external ones. If you think your son is going to show up on day one to a chorus of "chug chug chug," you're acting a bit naive. The vast majority of college kids who do drink aren't pressuring those around them to do the same.

I'd be more preoccupied with examining how independent and strong my child is rather than the reputation of a particular campus. There are both desirable and undesirable social circles at any university, and ultimately, it's his own life choices that will determine whether or not his college experience is a successful one. Think more about the academic reputation of the school, the quality of life, the cost, etc.
great post! Some of the wildest most out of control parties i ever went to were at the University of Chicago ... so take that for what it's worth.

Now, if the OP is that scared of the party scene then I'd suggest they send their son look at schools that do not have a greek system first and then work from there. The entire rush and pledge process can turn into one large party and most of the binge drinking deaths seem to center around frats ... and I know, that's a wild generalization, but just sayin'.
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