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Old 10-17-2013, 06:19 AM
 
5,683 posts, read 9,733,940 times
Reputation: 43773

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I got a call from “Steve from Windows Technical Support” (who actually sounded more like Rajneesh from Kolkata) yesterday afternoon. “Steve” informed me that they had been monitoring the reports from my computer these past few weeks, and my computer was badly infected with “wiruses.”

I put on my confused old lady voice and said, “oh, dear, that’s terrible.” “Steve” reassured me that everything would be fine, and he could help me eradicate the “wiruses” right away. From that point, the conversation went something like this:

Me: “oh, thank you so much! Now, which computer is it?”

Steve: “it’s your computer.”

Me: “but there are several computers here, which one is it?”

Steve: “your computer have been sending us a signal that it is infected with many wiruses.”

Me: “but which computer was sending you the signal? You just said one, so it can’t be all of them. Which one is it?”

Steve: “ma’am, it will be the computer you use for the internet.”

Me: “but I use all of them for the internet. Which one has the problem?”

Steve: “ma’am, if you will just be going to your computer I will tell you how to fix the problem.”

Me: “but you still haven’t told me which computer it is. If it’s sending you a signal, you must know which one it is.”

Steve: “it’s the one you are on right now.”

Me: “I’m not on a computer right now, I’m eating supper. Which computer was sending you a signal?”

<pause>

Steve: “ma’am, if you will just be going to your computer…”

Me: “but which one? Why can’t you tell me which one? If it sent you a signal, you must be able to tell from that.”

Steve: “ma’am, we just have the report that your computer is infected with wiruses.”

Me: “well, your report must tell you which computer it is, too.”

Steve: “ma’am, if you will just be going to your computer….”

Me: “but you still haven’t told me which one it is. Are you trying to fool me? Which computer has the problem?”

<pause>

Steve: “it will be the one with Windows 7.”

Me: “but they’re all Windows 7 computers. Which one is it? Why can’t you tell which one it is? I think you’re trying to play a trick on me.”

<pause>

Steve: “never mind, the new report says your computer is fine, good bye.”

<click>

Score!
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Old 10-17-2013, 07:24 AM
 
18,845 posts, read 34,800,908 times
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Forget technical support! Last time I spoke to them, they barely speak English.
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Old 10-17-2013, 07:29 AM
 
1,420 posts, read 2,910,800 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Forget technical support! Last time I spoke to them, they barely speak English.
"[The] Last time I spoke to them, they barely spoke English."
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Old 10-17-2013, 07:41 AM
 
5,683 posts, read 9,733,940 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Forget technical support! Last time I spoke to them, they barely speak English.
Ah, but you see, that call didn't come from anything related to Windows or technical support. This is a well-known identity-theft phishing scam, where a caller will get a gullible person to make changes to their computer's firewall to give the caller full access to all your private data (credit cards, PINs, passwords, etc.).

My elder kid is a network admin/security guru, and she's dealt with calls like that many times. She can get them going even better than I can, since that's her field anyway. But I didn't do half badly for an old coot. And it was sure fun to hear Rajneesh getting steadily more and more frustrated, after starting out just certain that he had found another willing victim!
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Old 10-17-2013, 09:41 AM
 
20,820 posts, read 62,303,732 times
Reputation: 40078
Heh. Nicely done.

You might try agreeing to go to the computer, then saying
"OK, the computer says "ready" "
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Old 10-17-2013, 11:55 AM
 
Location: Matthews, NC
14,693 posts, read 24,754,794 times
Reputation: 14378
I just got one of those calls to my work number the other day. After a few minutes of just rambling, I thought of a good tack to take.

I let him go on about Windows for a while and then started asking how he cleaned Windows. I told him he should use a newspaper instead of paper towels since it leaves less streaks.
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Old 10-17-2013, 12:06 PM
 
1,420 posts, read 2,910,800 times
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I start asking them what they're wearing.

Lots of neat ideas from listening to Tom Mabe.

tom mabe telemarketer prank - YouTube
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Old 10-17-2013, 07:57 PM
 
Location: Reno
843 posts, read 2,055,612 times
Reputation: 585
Got one of these a long time aga, trolled him a bit he hung up fairly quick.

What's crazy is this works.. they must get takers...
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Old 10-17-2013, 07:58 PM
 
24,497 posts, read 38,484,422 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Forget technical support! Last time I spoke to them, they barely speak English.
Do you work for them? You seem to have expertise in this area.
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Old 10-17-2013, 09:46 PM
 
1,156 posts, read 1,809,268 times
Reputation: 2135
I think I might have had a call like this earlier, not too sure. The accent I heard was so damn thick I only barely understood the word "computer." I told him learn english before trying to call people, then hung up. No idea what it really was, but I guess it could have been this.
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