[convextech]

After hearing this, it sounds like you gave them the right advice, considering neither one of them is smart enough to hang onto a job until they find another one. It doesn't matter how much education they have, they aren't even using their degrees.

[todd00]

Sad for him, as it sounds like rather than them being in it together she is thinking what's easier for HER. So selfish, I hate people like that. And if her daddy is a lawyer and lives in Westchester, probably life would be pretty easy if she moved home. And chances are she would blame everything on him and take no responsibility for her own mistakes. So now if he doesn't figure things out she will leave, that's some partner he has there. People bail out far too quickly these days. A little stress, oh too bad, she still doesn't know how lucky she has been in life compared to others nor does she seem to appreciate her husband. It's really too bad they had a kid when their marriage is not solid. And she can make him pay dearly in many ways if they do divorce. The worst part of being in a bad situation is when your partner jumps ship and you're in it alone. That hurt is worse than money woes, if ya really loved that person. I think you gave him good advice, but sounds like he may need more help reference his marital situation.

[newerabuzz]

Blaming Malloy for all the problems that started under the last few Administrations seems a bit partisan. Just MPO.
The taxes that are 'high' in this state are local real estate, and gasoline. The sales tax is about average, as well as the income tax. Another 'high cost of living state' with many taxes, California is seeing strong job growth. The problems in Connecticut may be more of a 'psychological' eversion to risk and change, rather then 'taxes'. California is no longer a manufacturing state, neither is Connecticut, yet the 'Golden State' is thriving again with new and innovative industries.

Also while the job market has improved throughout the country, many of the jobs are lower paying. The couple referred to in the OP , have their set of issues. It seems they should seek counseling to find the underlying problems in their marriage, and perhaps in each other. Mental illness can be a huge hindrance to finding a job and keeping it.

[andthentherewere3]

Originally Posted by eschaton

My friend and his wife are not from poor backgrounds. We grew up middle class in Trumbull. He has a double BS in Geology and Astronomy. He was a pretty good student, but he was the kind of guy who always took 21 credits and had two incompletes at the end of a semester - always biting off more than he could chew. He started a bunch of graduate programs later on, including an MBA, but I'm unsure if he finished any of them.

After college, he ended up sort of backing into quality control testing for food manufacturing companies, which he did for around seven years. I never asked how much he made, but I presumed it was somewhere above $50,000, but under $100,000, because at the time he considered my salary (I work in a nonprofit type job) as being "too small." The last job involved a two-hour commute to Northern New Jersey, and he was slowly being retrained to be a manager, and he decided he hated management. He quit right around when his wife was pregnant, thinking he'd be able to find something better closer to home, which he hasn't.

Honestly, he's always been the kind of guy who changes his mind frequently about what he wants to do. In recent years he's considered joining the Coast Guard, becoming a landscape architect, and being adjunct faculty somewhere (which I explained was an awful job). But he is pretty highly educated.

I don't know the educational background of his wife, but her father was a lawyer and lives in Westchester County, so I'm sure she got a pretty good degree from somewhere. As I said, she had some sort of law-related job at a venture capital firm when they first married, but she hated it and quit. At one point she wanted to go back to school to be a vet, but that didn't work out.

Just as I thought, there is more to the story. And if we heard her side we might be even more enlightened. It's time one or both of them made up their minds on what career path they want to take. They have a newborn, which require a lot of care, maybe the wife is feeling frustrated that the husband is not serious about finding a suitable job. The wife is still recovering from pregnancy, childbirth etc. Childcare is expensive, but eventually the wife will have to get serious herself and find a good-paying job. It sounds like a maturity issue for them both, but for the moment I'm more sympathetic to the wife.

It's funny how the male posters often side with the husband and the females with the wife.

[CTartist&musician]

Originally Posted by eschaton

My friend and his wife are not from poor backgrounds. We grew up middle class in Trumbull. He has a double BS in Geology and Astronomy.

STEM teachers are in demand not only in CT but everywhere. With your friends education he could be a Science teacher. I have a friend whose husband lost his job in finance on Wall Street in 2009 and he went back to school to be a science teacher. Now he has a stable job and he does not have to travel to NYC.


Much-Needed STEM Teachers are Focus of Accelerated Certification Program Expansion | UConn Today

[dazzleman]

Originally Posted by eschaton

My friend and his wife are not from poor backgrounds. We grew up middle class in Trumbull. He has a double BS in Geology and Astronomy. He was a pretty good student, but he was the kind of guy who always took 21 credits and had two incompletes at the end of a semester - always biting off more than he could chew. He started a bunch of graduate programs later on, including an MBA, but I'm unsure if he finished any of them.

After college, he ended up sort of backing into quality control testing for food manufacturing companies, which he did for around seven years. I never asked how much he made, but I presumed it was somewhere above $50,000, but under $100,000, because at the time he considered my salary (I work in a nonprofit type job) as being "too small." The last job involved a two-hour commute to Northern New Jersey, and he was slowly being retrained to be a manager, and he decided he hated management. He quit right around when his wife was pregnant, thinking he'd be able to find something better closer to home, which he hasn't.

Honestly, he's always been the kind of guy who changes his mind frequently about what he wants to do. In recent years he's considered joining the Coast Guard, becoming a landscape architect, and being adjunct faculty somewhere (which I explained was an awful job). But he is pretty highly educated.

I don't know the educational background of his wife, but her father was a lawyer and lives in Westchester County, so I'm sure she got a pretty good degree from somewhere. As I said, she had some sort of law-related job at a venture capital firm when they first married, but she hated it and quit. At one point she wanted to go back to school to be a vet, but that didn't work out.

Their jobs or the state they live in isn't their problem. They need to grow up and start acting like adults. Until that happens, they won't succeed anywhere.

[andthentherewere3]

Originally Posted by eschaton

My friend and his wife are not from poor backgrounds. We grew up middle class in Trumbull.

The above was part of your response to my question about their higher education. Just FTR, I never suggested that they might be from poor backgrounds. I just asked if they had college degrees. Nowadays most kids go onto college after graduating high school, but back when I graduated high school the percentage was not nearly as high as it is now. I came from a wealthy, well-educated family but didn't go to college myself. Just something for younger people to consider when they come across older people without degrees, I didn't realize that such an assumption might be made.

[Armyvet1]

Do what I did and become an entrepreneur. It's not as hard as people think it is if you have a business plan and at least 5,000 to invest, I did 3,000 for start up costs and additional 2,000 in a secured credit line to generate some buying power.

When I partnered with this guy he and his wife needed a little push to get things going again. The first week I was in business with this other couple I motivated the younger guys, got them excited about the place again, finished up 4 jobs that were just sitting in the shop not collecting any money, got customers to pay, put some money on the bottom line, and saw the potential of the place.

I cannot believe that people still insists on working for large companies that will lay you off at the first sign of financial trouble. When I worked for companies my whole future and security was relying upon someone else who decided what my salary would be, when I could work, when I couldn't work, to hell with all that, I'm controlling my own future now.

We live in an economy that is very unstable, long term positions with companies seem to be a thing of the past, and you have to be really adaptive to change in today's work environment.

And as far as the wife going back to college that would be another financial mistake because if the first degree didn't work out for you why would you think the second one would? She would be just wasting more money causing more financial stress and generating student loan debt which obviously according to this post they would never be able to afford to pay back.

My analysis of this situation would be that it sounds like the wife was pampered, the husband tried to hard to keep her happy with material things, and as a whole they appear extremely book smart without a lick of common sense.

[Armyvet1]

Originally Posted by andthentherewere3

Just as I thought, there is more to the story. And if we heard her side we might be even more enlightened. It's time one or both of them made up their minds on what career path they want to take. They have a newborn, which require a lot of care, maybe the wife is feeling frustrated that the husband is not serious about finding a suitable job. The wife is still recovering from pregnancy, childbirth etc. Childcare is expensive, but eventually the wife will have to get serious herself and find a good-paying job. It sounds like a maturity issue for them both, but for the moment I'm more sympathetic to the wife.

It's funny how the male posters often side with the husband and the females with the wife.

Sympathetic toward the wife? She tends to bail at the first sign of trouble, what kind of soldier is that? She left cause she hated it, translation I had to work so I left cause it was too hard.

My husband needs me more then ever to help him through this but instead I'm gonna bail because he don't make bank anymore and I can't sit around on my butt pretending to sell Avon and chat it up within girls all day.

This woman is your typical affluent background my daddy always took care of me and now I'm looking for a man to do the same.

Tell your friend to drop the dead weight cause she is going to slow him down on his objectives.

[andthentherewere3]

Originally Posted by Armyvet1

Sympathetic toward the wife? She tends to bail at the first sign of trouble, what kind of soldier is that? She left cause she hated it, translation I had to work so I left cause it was too hard.

My husband needs me more then ever to help him through this but instead I'm gonna bail because he don't make bank anymore and I can't sit around on my butt pretending to sell Avon and chat it up within girls all day.

This woman is your typical affluent background my daddy always took care of me and now I'm looking for a man to do the same.

Tell your friend to drop the dead weight cause she is going to slow him down on his objectives.

LOL the wife is not a soldier. And what "objectives" of the husband's are you referring to? The husband can't make up his mind what career path he wants to take. Neither can the wife. They need to realize they have serious responsibilities now, it's not just them anymore, they have a child. And we really have too little information to be wildly insulting either of them.

This is going to keep me laughing all day, thank you.