[scratchie]

Originally Posted by beerisgood02

exactly.

Might as well sleep in a dumpster.

[beerisgood02]

Originally Posted by scratchie

Might as well sleep in a dumpster.

Yep.

[JayCT]

Originally Posted by tax_tax_tax_tax

Sure, Darien is desirable. It's a utopia for ice-cold people, miserable traffic, and a sense of entitlement unparalleled anywhere in this country.

But yeah, keep drinking that kool-aid. It's a 'beautiful' and 'highly desirable' town, for sure.

Do you even really know Darien? Yes it is very affluent and has some people who think they are "entitled" but that is true of any affluent suburb in this country. The people I have met from Darien though were very nice and not what you describe so stop generalizing. Jay

[John Doh]

I lived in Darien for almost 10 years. It is a lovely place to live in, great beaches and parks. The location is great with a decent commute to NYC.

A lot of what has been said here is true. Traffic is miserable, trying to get out of town on a Friday night to go to the Cape or VT was miserable but,you will find that on any FFC town.

As for the lack of inclusion, I guess my answer is that depends. I'll start by school district as that is how the town likes to define itself. My younger daughter went to Tokeneke school but I did not live in the Tokeneke Association. At a PTO event one parent asked where we lived and when she found this out she just stopped talking to us and turned around. She literally turned around and went to talk to someone else. From friends in other parts of town we learned that Ox Ridge had a similar environment. Hindley, Holmes and Royle parents weren't as exclusive.

The majority of our friends were made at church, we weren't very religious but our realtor basically ordered us to go and join a church, first thing you do! (Second is get on the list for parking @ trains, third is join the boat club). We joined one, went to a new member class and made some good friends. Here is where it gets tricky because they are all Christian. (unless something new has popped up in the last year).

Country clubs are opening up more but they are still a lot of barriers. Never saw a POC at CCD.

I don't think people are as overtly racist as they are classist, if you are a minority and have a lot of money you will be welcomed but, at arms length. If you are poor and a minority forget it.

[mmbma]

Originally Posted by John Doh

I lived in Darien for almost 10 years. It is a lovely place to live in, great beaches and parks. The location is great with a decent commute to NYC.

A lot of what has been said here is true. Traffic is miserable, trying to get out of town on a Friday night to go to the Cape or VT was miserable but,you will find that on any FFC town.

As for the lack of inclusion, I guess my answer is that depends. I'll start by school district as that is how the town likes to define itself. My younger daughter went to Tokeneke school but I did not live in the Tokeneke Association. At a PTO event one parent asked where we lived and when she found this out she just stopped talking to us and turned around. She literally turned around and went to talk to someone else. From friends in other parts of town we learned that Ox Ridge had a similar environment. Hindley, Holmes and Royle parents weren't as exclusive.

The majority of our friends were made at church, we weren't very religious but our realtor basically ordered us to go and join a church, first thing you do! (Second is get on the list for parking @ trains, third is join the boat club). We joined one, went to a new member class and made some good friends. Here is where it gets tricky because they are all Christian. (unless something new has popped up in the last year).

Country clubs are opening up more but they are still a lot of barriers. Never saw a POC at CCD.

I don't think people are as overtly racist as they are classist, if you are a minority and have a lot of money you will be welcomed but, at arms length. If you are poor and a minority forget it.

exactly the kind of answer i'm hoping for. Thanks very much.

I get the parent conference experience. Having worked and lived in the city and sending my kids to private school here, I must admit that I've not been immune from that type of behavior either (not as abrupt or rude, but same attitude).

The church thing though is crazy. we are not religious (not against it, but would hate it if felt pressure to get baptized!) Also don't want to live a place where I'd have to jump through hoops to play some golf or go boating.

appreciate it.

[WouldLoveTo]

Originally Posted by John Doh

The majority of our friends were made at church, we weren't very religious but our realtor basically ordered us to go and join a church, first thing you do! .

And if you have no desire to join a church?????? If a realtor told me to do that, it would be the last time we spoke!

[beerisgood02]

Originally Posted by WouldLoveTo

And if you have no desire to join a church?????? If a realtor told me to do that, it would be the last time we spoke!

Agreed. This is insanity.

[Stylo]

Wouldn't worry about race at all. The competitiveness in Darien that exists will be more about money than anything. It's a good option for an NYC commute if you don't want to spend Greenwich prices, and Stamford schools won't do.

[John Doh]

Originally Posted by WouldLoveTo

And if you have no desire to join a church?????? If a realtor told me to do that, it would be the last time we spoke!

Don't join then, it is your choice. We wanted to meet people and weren't hell bent against going to a church. It's not just about religion, its also about community.

Also, if you live in Darien the first two questions you are likely to be asked:
1) Where do your kids go to school
2) What church do you go to

Darien isn't for everyone.

[John Doh]

Originally Posted by mmbma

exactly the kind of answer i'm hoping for. Thanks very much.

I get the parent conference experience. Having worked and lived in the city and sending my kids to private school here, I must admit that I've not been immune from that type of behavior either (not as abrupt or rude, but same attitude).

The church thing though is crazy. we are not religious (not against it, but would hate it if felt pressure to get baptized!) Also don't want to live a place where I'd have to jump through hoops to play some golf or go boating.

appreciate it.

The Church thing is a quirk about town, you don't have to be super religious but that is how we met many people. As a young couple that knew no one this is how we met many of our best friends. This was 11 years ago and some things may have changed but Darien is still pretty conservative.

I think all country clubs in lower FFC are pretty elitist. Burning Tree wouldn't let Obama play because it would interfere with their members playing time.

The boat club is a great perk to being a town resident. It's only open to residents and there is a waitlist of about 7-8 years for a slip. They throw a killer lobster bake and a few other parties through the year.