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Dude, I want a gun-firing drone!! Does a drone need a license to carry in CT?
Anyway, pretty bad example for 2 reasons. 1, the feds got involved too, which means it wasn't just CT. Although I'm not sure why feds (presumably ATF) would be involved since there doesn't seem to be any federal crime involved, but that getting off topic. 2, it seems pretty reasonable to me that community-level police would be concerned at the very least by a 19 year old testing drone-gun prototypes in the backyard. FWIW, I am one of the more extreme "small government" types and one of the most pro-gun members on this forum, but Forest Gumps sage mother said it best "stupid is as stupid does"
Single guy, early 30's. Finding Connecticut to be really depressing and unpleasant. The traffic is miserable, the cities are ghettos, ugly congested strip mall corridors and industrial decay are everywhere.
Worst of all, it's just isolating and lonely. Dating is pretty much non-existent. Most people are either married with children or merely here for school or some kind of transitional phase. Even a place like New Haven is populated by students who can't wait to finish their degrees and get the hell out of CT, and I don't blame them.
The cost of living is outrageous for such a low key and unappealing state. I'm trying to save to move out of here, but with rent and taxes and all the day to day expenses I feel like I'm in a prison I'll never escape.
Just wondering if there's anyone else out there who can sympathize.
I'm in my late twenties. Single and been here for 6 + years. I can provide some insight into your situation and what its like to live here. Some of what I say is generalization, but it does come from my discussions with many others.
There are two types of groups of young people in the state for the sake of discussion. Group one is the people who grew up here and went to school locally and possibly at the college level. The second group is people like myself who came into the state for job and relocated. The two groups usually have two very distinct and different outcomes from what I have seen. This is true of many other places as well, but CT is not exception and worse in many respects for the reasons I will outline.
Group one, the people who grew up here and have maintained friends from high school are often in a close social circle. It's fairly easy to see this playout in places like West Hartford Center. Breaking into those social circles is not easy. And to be completely fair, why would many of these people look to welcome new comers when its easier to chill with people you knew for years and bonded with for a long time. This doesn't even take into account the sheer volume of people who are in deep relationships, engaged or married. It's also worth noting that many of the young CT people who grew up here that remain are those who are not your risk takers, adventurers and big city people (not saying these are bad people for remaining, just different).
Group two, is your transplants and people maybe working on an extended grad degree. Most came here for the job and are trying to make the most out of it. It's easy to tell when these people come in from another area especially on to the single scene. There just is not a large volume of transplants and the population growth data seems to indicate that too. As someone who is a part of this group I found it difficult to connect with people from group one who grew up here. Sure many of them might be single and attractive, but most often they are usually pretty closed off. It's easier for them to relate to the guy who went the high school or town over from them. Dating is largely a numbers game and when your dating pool isn't big. That's when the problems start. You start having to widen the area in which you look. In CT that means driving further and further (45 to 60 mins out). It starts to become harder to maintain a relationship and get something off the ground. Research has shown its easier to form relationships with people we are in close proximity to. From a time management standpoint its also more efficient. That's why as a single person the argument for CT being close to Boston and NYC as a plus is void.
It's definitely possible to make CT work. It just takes huge commitment. Joining clubs, online group activities, work events, maybe anything you can find with potential for singles. This assumes you have a job that provides decent balance since it will require a time commitment to get out there.
When I was in my early twenties. CT was definitely decent for going to clubs and nightlife as it was easy to fit in with the college crowd still. New haven was great for that. When you grow out of that. It's very difficult and I can understand where you are coming from.
Online dating is a waste in my opinion for people our age. It's a numbers game and the credibility you receive from online dates is about zero to negative. The same person you met online would value you that much more if you just had talked to them at a group activity or public place. It's something about meeting people online, it just never seems to hold value. I have confirmed this from talking with many other guys. It works for some, but if you have your stuff together I don't think you will ever be impressed.
In the end though, the question I face is..... is it worth all of the effort to make living here work? Or is it worth putting in the effort to get started somewhere else where there is more opportunity? It's hard not to see Boston as a good option. The whole economic picture of the state is pretty bleak and I cannot justify purchasing real estate here.
I am definitely in the first group. It's crazy how friends have come and gone in CT. Will agree being a local boy definitely avoidant of the big city atmosphere and crowds. Farther away happier I am. Been in Waterbury area 28 year's and trying to get out of this city escape to area's of CT less populated and more populated with woods.
I actually been a year working in a larger city in CT, larger then Danbury and Waterbury, I just can't stand the drive down. Not as bad as New Haven, but just too many cars/people.
Anyways back to meetups and singles...I am lucky to find an awesome gal. However, there are a few cool meetup groups for singles like Single Runners, Single Hiker groups, and a few other type groups in CT. Meetup is an awesome site to check out. Also Groupon, ha.
Size of a city doesnt matter. What matternis the people thats there. You can move to a city with 100,000 people and everybody there been there forever so they tend to not opening up to newcomers as much. Then you can go to a city with 80,000 people but its a new and upcoming city with a huge growth from people thats moving in. Now you are new and the 10 othrr people at the bar with you are new also and looking for the samething you are looking for.... i experienced people not opening up when i lived in nh
OP, I hear your frustration. I've lived in CT my entire life- mainly the middle of the state, down by Stratford, and in the NE Quiet Corner. We were all in for a move to TN (we have family there) and it seemed to be such a good decision. We found the smallest town outside Nashville we could find and fell in love. Then, some family issues and business opportunities arouse. Many, many discussions later (and A LOT of tears) we are staying. It is expensive to live here, that is true. However, as much as CT seems to suck, there are many positives. The seasons, Being in between big cities- hella a lot closer than the distance in other states!) and the BEACH.
I've figured out how to solve my problem, which is to move back to the NE corner where there is open space and nature and generally real,honest people. There's more drive time everywhere, but it's beautiful.
Before you give up on CT, branch out a little to the quieter areas and get a broader view of the state. And as for your social life- believe it or not, mine was better living outside the cities.
Good luck in your search for happiness
I'm in my late twenties. Single and been here for 6 + years. I can provide some insight into your situation and what its like to live here. Some of what I say is generalization, but it does come from my discussions with many others.
There are two types of groups of young people in the state for the sake of discussion. Group one is the people who grew up here and went to school locally and possibly at the college level. The second group is people like myself who came into the state for job and relocated. The two groups usually have two very distinct and different outcomes from what I have seen. This is true of many other places as well, but CT is not exception and worse in many respects for the reasons I will outline.
Group one, the people who grew up here and have maintained friends from high school are often in a close social circle. It's fairly easy to see this playout in places like West Hartford Center. Breaking into those social circles is not easy. And to be completely fair, why would many of these people look to welcome new comers when its easier to chill with people you knew for years and bonded with for a long time. This doesn't even take into account the sheer volume of people who are in deep relationships, engaged or married. It's also worth noting that many of the young CT people who grew up here that remain are those who are not your risk takers, adventurers and big city people (not saying these are bad people for remaining, just different).
Group two, is your transplants and people maybe working on an extended grad degree. Most came here for the job and are trying to make the most out of it. It's easy to tell when these people come in from another area especially on to the single scene. There just is not a large volume of transplants and the population growth data seems to indicate that too. As someone who is a part of this group I found it difficult to connect with people from group one who grew up here. Sure many of them might be single and attractive, but most often they are usually pretty closed off. It's easier for them to relate to the guy who went the high school or town over from them. Dating is largely a numbers game and when your dating pool isn't big. That's when the problems start. You start having to widen the area in which you look. In CT that means driving further and further (45 to 60 mins out). It starts to become harder to maintain a relationship and get something off the ground. Research has shown its easier to form relationships with people we are in close proximity to. From a time management standpoint its also more efficient. That's why as a single person the argument for CT being close to Boston and NYC as a plus is void.
It's definitely possible to make CT work. It just takes huge commitment. Joining clubs, online group activities, work events, maybe anything you can find with potential for singles. This assumes you have a job that provides decent balance since it will require a time commitment to get out there.
When I was in my early twenties. CT was definitely decent for going to clubs and nightlife as it was easy to fit in with the college crowd still. New haven was great for that. When you grow out of that. It's very difficult and I can understand where you are coming from.
Online dating is a waste in my opinion for people our age. It's a numbers game and the credibility you receive from online dates is about zero to negative. The same person you met online would value you that much more if you just had talked to them at a group activity or public place. It's something about meeting people online, it just never seems to hold value. I have confirmed this from talking with many other guys. It works for some, but if you have your stuff together I don't think you will ever be impressed.
In the end though, the question I face is..... is it worth all of the effort to make living here work? Or is it worth putting in the effort to get started somewhere else where there is more opportunity? It's hard not to see Boston as a good option. The whole economic picture of the state is pretty bleak and I cannot justify purchasing real estate here.
i tend to agree with this. Except in my circumstance, most of my friends moved out of CT so i felt like i was in group 2, till i made the move out myself.
Fortunately my career is such that it is easy to transition to another state. I'm in the tech field and have designs on either Boston, Seattle, Bay Area or L.A.
It is just so hard to save money here, I find myself having to live like a pauper. It is worth it in the long run to get out, but in the meantime I have to work through all this depression about being stuck in this rut.
The areas you want to move to are just as expensive if not more expensive.
In the end though, the question I face is..... is it worth all of the effort to make living here work? Or is it worth putting in the effort to get started somewhere else where there is more opportunity? It's hard not to see Boston as a good option. The whole economic picture of the state is pretty bleak and I cannot justify purchasing real estate here.
Great post man. I would answer your question as to whether it's worth it here with an emphatic "no" but I suppose every one has to find their own way.
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