[CTJane]

Hi all,

I currently live in one of the "W" towns in Fairfield County and am in the process of divorcing. I won't be able to keep my home and perhaps that is not such a bad thing because I live in a very family-oriented town. I'd like to move to a place that is safe, quiet, and closer to the city and airports (I travel frequently for work), and also have enough space for any of my children (two in college, one graduated and in the working world) to come and stay with me whenever they would like. I'm not sure I can find all of these things within my price range though -which is probably around $550k for a house or condo or $3,000 per month for an apartment. (I earn $180k per year - maybe I can afford more than that...not sure. It's a bit overwhelming to think about this all!) I looked into Harbor Point in Stamford (I have quite a few friends in Stamford so it might be good to be close to them) but it seems like it's for a much younger population and the largest apartment is a two bedroom.

To be honest, I'm terrified of moving - not because I love my house so much (although I do quite like it) but because I know what I have here - whatever faults my house has, I'm aware of them, and it's comfortable and there aren't any big issues. I'm worried about moving somewhere and having something big be wrong with the location or the home. I'm sure I'm projecting a little since divorce is hard anyway. I would like a place where I'm not surrounded by young families - where I might feel more comfortable as a single person and might be around some people my own age - but where it would be safe and quiet and where it would be comfortable for my college kids to stay as well. Maybe I should be leaving CT...but Westchester seems way more expensive.

Any advice appreciated on best neighborhoods to consider.

Thanks!

Jane

[dazzleman]

First, figure out exactly what you can afford. At your life stage, this is more complex than for a person starting out. How much equity will you get from you'd current house? That will surely affect what you can spend on your next place.

What about retirement? In light of your divorce and whatever the settlement might be, you need a retirement analysis and need to know how much you will need to out away every year to achieve your retirement goals.

Once you get the finances straight, then you can start deciding where you want and can afford to live.

[JayCT]

I agree with dazzleman. You need to get a sense of your finances before committing to a permanent move. You might consider a rental in downtown Stamford or Norwalk until you get that. Once you are more comfortable with things then buy. Good luck. Jay

[Raider111]

Condo is the way to go for sure and there are a gazillion in the area and for sale. They tend to be more geared towards retirees, divorcees, have less families, and are maintenance free - you just write a check every month for common charges. With a 550K budget, safety is not an issue. This should all be common knowledge.

[Stephy0519]

I agree with everyone else, get your finances more in order. Making 180K a year, you can actually afford more rent. There are ways to calculate rent-I make less than you, and I pay 3K a month and that is considered the "median" rent I can pay.

Figure out finances, then the rest. Three bedroom apartments are also going to run you WAY more than a 2-one of your kids (especially since they are adults) may need to deal with a couch, if they both show up at the same time.

Good luck to you and hope everything works out.

[Harpaint]

Maybe renting for a while would be better than buying. It sounds like you may not be quite ready yet to make commitments that are not easily reversed. It takes a while to begin thinking clearly after traumatic life events, so give yourself time. Your income should allow you to have a nice lifestyle, but try not to make permanent decisions until you are sure you are thinking clearly and not afraid. Best Wishes in your new life!

[SailCT]

Originally Posted by CTJane

Hi all,

I currently live in one of the "W" towns in Fairfield County and am in the process of divorcing. I won't be able to keep my home and perhaps that is not such a bad thing because I live in a very family-oriented town. I'd like to move to a place that is safe, quiet, and closer to the city and airports (I travel frequently for work), and also have enough space for any of my children (two in college, one graduated and in the working world) to come and stay with me whenever they would like. I'm not sure I can find all of these things within my price range though -which is probably around $550k for a house or condo or $3,000 per month for an apartment. (I earn $180k per year - maybe I can afford more than that...not sure. It's a bit overwhelming to think about this all!) I looked into Harbor Point in Stamford (I have quite a few friends in Stamford so it might be good to be close to them) but it seems like it's for a much younger population and the largest apartment is a two bedroom.

To be honest, I'm terrified of moving - not because I love my house so much (although I do quite like it) but because I know what I have here - whatever faults my house has, I'm aware of them, and it's comfortable and there aren't any big issues. I'm worried about moving somewhere and having something big be wrong with the location or the home. I'm sure I'm projecting a little since divorce is hard anyway. I would like a place where I'm not surrounded by young families - where I might feel more comfortable as a single person and might be around some people my own age - but where it would be safe and quiet and where it would be comfortable for my college kids to stay as well. Maybe I should be leaving CT...but Westchester seems way more expensive.

Any advice appreciated on best neighborhoods to consider.

Thanks!

Jane

Hi Jane,
I was in a similar situation and after much research and thought i moved out east of New Haven. I am close to New haven and it has tons to offer and to Bradley if I want to use it. i couldn't really envision going closer to NYC; so I came up here and not only is it gorgeous visually but there are lots of singles and it is very affordable! I think it is really the perfect area for those in their early 50s starting over after a Divorce. I found Stamford to be way too congested and expensive after living there for a couple of years after downsizing. Good luck!

[NewJeffCT]

agree with the above - how much you can afford really depends on how much equity you have in your current home. Break even, 50% equity or close to owning it outright makes a huge difference. Also, it depends on other factors as well - do you owe money on your car, did you borrow money for your kids in college, do you have a lot of other assets/debts, are you going to be receiving or paying alimony, etc.