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Old 03-04-2017, 12:18 PM
 
2,005 posts, read 2,072,887 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WILWRadio View Post
Yup, I"m a snob. LOL I have friends from all walks of life and different socio economic strata. Some I've made in recent years and others date back to when I was 4 years old. What's wrong with preferring the company of long time friend? To each his own.

This is one of the major issues I have with the Midwest. People are generally unaccepting of others that don't share the same lifestyle of behavior as they do. I've spent enough time in the Midwest to know about it too. It all boils down to ego driven people that have to be the center of attention. If they get ignored they become unhinged and behave accordingly.

Not all of us have a desire to be overly popular or need a lot of friends. Personally, I not a man of the people like Mao, Hitler, Stalin and so on. I don't need to be the center of attention, demand that others give me attention or behave a certain way to accept them.

I experience the same kind of rude behavior in places like Indiana (mostly the Indy metro area) as well as places like Kansas City, St. Louis and so on. Many people that work in service positions do not say "Hello" or "Thank You" and I got over it years ago. I still greet them even if they don't greet me and leave it at that.
Never said you were a snob, never said there was a problem with preferring the company of an old friend...

...but when you purposely ignore or refuse to befriend newcomers to your area (which everyone here is acknowledging is true...), you are rude. No ifs, ands, or buts about it...

 
Old 03-04-2017, 01:08 PM
 
6,295 posts, read 11,017,263 times
Reputation: 3085
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaDoo342 View Post
Never said you were a snob, never said there was a problem with preferring the company of an old friend...

...but when you purposely ignore or refuse to befriend newcomers to your area (which everyone here is acknowledging is true...), you are rude. No ifs, ands, or buts about it...
I deal with this all the time in some areas of the Midwest. Have gotten used to it. Don't waste my time that much trying to make friends out here these days. I do try to be cordial when dealing with people but leave it t that. I spend my time working, sleeping, working around the house and and on a radio project that I am working on.

I've lived in some places in the Midwest that are OK in that regard. Some areas of KC are OK while others are not. Same for some of the small towns in KS and MO. Indianapolis is not a very friendly place unless you have ties to the place. My brother has also found this out. But some of the other parts of Indiana seem OK.

Currently residing in a suburb of Cincinnati in northern KY. The jury is still out here. Have not been here long enough to determine the friendship potential or social scene. Not enough time or money for it right now. Acquainted with a couple of people which is fine. Most importantly they are least are not giving me much trouble unlike a couple of small towns near KC that I lived in a while back. People that lead boring and meaningless lives have nothing better to do than mess with you and your personal property and space. Had to deal with this in Indy as well.

I should add too that in some areas of the Midwest the people have fertile imaginations that border on delusional. Seeing things that don't exist. Both my brother and I have been viewed as unsavory elements simply because we don't fit the "mold" of how people behave and act in these parts. Pathetic if you ask me. I don't ever recall seeing that happen to anyone in New England regardless of where they originated in this country or abroad.

Last edited by WILWRadio; 03-04-2017 at 01:19 PM..
 
Old 03-04-2017, 01:40 PM
 
6,295 posts, read 11,017,263 times
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FYI to the transplants to CT.

Before you proceed to buy or rent a place when coming to the state, if making friends fairly quickly is important then it might be a good idea to find out which cities and towns have the most net in migration from other states. I know that both Simsbury and West Hartford have a good number of people from other states and countries and most seem to get along just fine. Cities and towns with fewer outsiders moving in will likely result in more closed social circles among the local people and will make it more difficult to find friends.
 
Old 03-04-2017, 02:16 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma
6,808 posts, read 6,903,077 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JayCT View Post
Funny you bring this up, I know someone who has to use a walker and they are amazed at how many people go out of their way to assist them. They say that people are always waiting to open or hold the door for them. People even will get up from their tables to open the door. And this person lives in your area. Not sure what you expect but I can see coming from the Midwest thinking people are rude since the Midwest is probably the friendliest part of the country. Jay
My mother was in a wheelchair and it was amazing how many people cut her off and practically plowed her over just to get ahead of her. Quite rude. Having lived in CT 40+ years, I have to agree with the OP. Although some neighborhoods are very friendly and community minded, the general public is not overly friendly or inclusive.

I remember cashiers ringing up the sale, and turning the total towards me, just to avoid having to speak. Forget eye contact.

CT-ers may not realize just how cold their reservedness comes off because they are used to it. For an outsider like OP, it must be pretty unpleasant.
 
Old 03-04-2017, 02:37 PM
 
6,295 posts, read 11,017,263 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aquietpath View Post
My mother was in a wheelchair and it was amazing how many people cut her off and practically plowed her over just to get ahead of her. Quite rude. Having lived in CT 40+ years, I have to agree with the OP. Although some neighborhoods are very friendly and community minded, the general public is not overly friendly or inclusive.

I remember cashiers ringing up the sale, and turning the total towards me, just to avoid having to speak. Forget eye contact.

CT-ers may not realize just how cold their reservedness comes off because they are used to it. For an outsider like OP, it must be pretty unpleasant.
I believe this kind of behavior is actually becoming more common in many areas of the country, not just CT. I don't ever really recall seeing this kind of behavior ever in service industries in the state though I moved out for good in 2003. But I do get back every couple of years to visit family and friends and I don't get treated like this at al. Get it in many areas of the Midwest though.

My niece in the area said a few years ago that people are becoming more miserable and nasty than at any time before. I have also heard this from a woman that I know in Kansas City. I think it may have something to do with the fact that people have been very upset about what has been going on socially and politically in this country for the better part of the new Millennium and they probably feel helpless to do anything about it. So, they lash out at others in frustration simply because they can't seem to deal with the problem. That is just my opinion but it must be the case since the problem is happening in more areas of the country and not confined to just New England.
 
Old 03-04-2017, 02:39 PM
 
2,005 posts, read 2,072,887 times
Reputation: 1513
Quote:
Originally Posted by WILWRadio View Post
I believe this kind of behavior is actually becoming more common in many areas of the country, not just CT. I don't ever really recall seeing this kind of behavior ever in service industries in the state though I moved out for good in 2003. But I do get back every couple of years to visit family and friends and I don't get treated like this at al. Get it in many areas of the Midwest though.
Sounds to me like, at least in the midwest, you're getting what you give... could be wrong though... *shrug*
 
Old 03-04-2017, 02:41 PM
 
6,295 posts, read 11,017,263 times
Reputation: 3085
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaDoo342 View Post
Sounds to me like, at least in the midwest, you're getting what you give... could be wrong though... *shrug*
Not really. I've been quite nice to people but in many cases, they do not reciprocate. Like I said, I don't worry about it. It's not every place and only a few places or areas that usually are notorious for being unfriendly.
 
Old 03-05-2017, 12:19 PM
 
35 posts, read 35,455 times
Reputation: 58
Wilw, ah yes, the passive aggressive long form insult served up as insightful feedback. Bravo.

I'll leave it to the reader to decide if you've helped make my point.
 
Old 03-05-2017, 12:29 PM
 
Location: Connecticut
34,700 posts, read 56,496,602 times
Reputation: 11162
Quote:
Originally Posted by aquietpath View Post
My mother was in a wheelchair and it was amazing how many people cut her off and practically plowed her over just to get ahead of her. Quite rude. Having lived in CT 40+ years, I have to agree with the OP. Although some neighborhoods are very friendly and community minded, the general public is not overly friendly or inclusive.

I remember cashiers ringing up the sale, and turning the total towards me, just to avoid having to speak. Forget eye contact.

CT-ers may not realize just how cold their reservedness comes off because they are used to it. For an outsider like OP, it must be pretty unpleasant.
I am not sure where your mother lived that she experienced this but the person I know with a walker experienced the exact opposite (yes, I specifically asked them). People go specifically out of their way to accommodate them, even allowing them to go to the head of the lines. And it is not just one person, there are often multiple people. And no one has ever cut them off or pushed in front of them deliberately. They are mostly in the Hartford area but often go to Fairfield and New Haven counties as well. Jay
 
Old 03-05-2017, 01:19 PM
 
6,295 posts, read 11,017,263 times
Reputation: 3085
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tompho View Post
Wilw, ah yes, the passive aggressive long form insult served up as insightful feedback. Bravo.

I'll leave it to the reader to decide if you've helped make my point.
I'm simply relaying my experiences. It is really starting to look like you are thin skinned and can't deal with anyone that does not share the same experiences as you in regards to living and working in the Midwest. Please note that I said "some" and NOT "all" parts of your former home region I've experienced problems. Simply put. I am too independent for the areas that have very conformist cultures. And you will find that many areas of New England still have some old time, independent Yankee types among the local population.
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