[WILWRadio]

riteshb. I am originally from Simsbury and I can clearly recall during my high school years that Midwesterners that recently came into the school system had a very difficult time adapting to the New England way of life. Unless these students came in during Grade School, most couldn't adjust very well. By contrast, southerners and even people from other countries seemed to do fine here. New Yorkers and other New Englanders also had little difficulty. Ohioans seemed to be the one notable exception to this rule.

Since 1990 I've lived in the Midwest off and on for several years and aside from Minnesota and Ohio I've found it to be a foreign land. Here in Kansas City I've noted the people are exactly the opposite of what I am accustomed to and it has led to real problems. I can identify with your situation and I suspect if we could trade places we'd both benefit. :-) I'll be moving out of here within the year and will be returning to a New England state or possibly NY, PA or OH. Friendlier and more familiar territory for me.

[hfd]

Trumbull Kitchen is also fun at night along with Crush at the Convention Center. I find Hartford nightlife to be pretty good, except during the summer when it seems every single person around goes to Newport for the weekend. The bars there are packed and you will meet Connecticut people everywhere. Also if you stay in the city, check out Spris. They have some cool parties during the summer out on the plaza

[hfd]

In fact I know many people who love the Hartford nightlife from September to May, and then when the region comes to a standstill for the summer they become part of a share house in Newport with other young professionals for June, July and August.

[Babydoll9983]

I have lived in Hartford for about 20 months and I knew it would take over a year to get comfortable. After the first year I became more acquainted with the area but can definintely agree. There is a lack of things for people to do. I am 24 and just have a hard time finding a consistent crowd. Personally I prefer artsy, urban, or lgbt friendly crowds.

Aside from that, the people in CT do not let others into their circles easily. I almost always have to have something in common with someone first before I can be accepted (i.e rugby, basketball, or my job). Those are the 3 ways I have most successfully met people. You have to find something in common besides having fun and drinking or else you're just another person they don't know and don't care about. The outgoing personality type is rare in CT.

In the past 5 years I've lived in minneapolis, Ann Arbor, Atlanta, and San Diego so I am familiar with lots of different types of regions/personality types.

Anyone know a good connection in Boston? I gotta move there!!

(Recent grad brought here for work, 24)

[WILWRadio]

Babydoll9983. Yes, Connecticut and MOST of New England is not the easiest place to make friends if you are an outsider. It gets more difficult as you get older.

There are legitimate reasons why we prefer to have friends that share similar interests and have friends dating back decades to our childhood. It's far easier to trust someone you have known for years and years and have shared a variety of experiences. And when you share the some of the same interests then you have a common ground that can cement a real relationship. In essence, I think many of us prefer to have a relationship with friends built on mutual trust and some substance than a rather plastic, fair weather friendly styled relationship.

Right now I live in Kansas City and I don't really have any friends. It does not matter because I have quite a few friends in the Northeast and some other areas of the country. I Gave up on that here a long time ago because I don't believe many Kansas Citians have a clue as to what real friends really are. They prefer to be around only like minded people from the same socio-economic background and shun people that don't act just like they do. In contrast, I have friends in New England and NY from a number of different income levels and cultures. Some have money and others don't. But we have common interests that bind us as friends. This is also one of the primary reasons divorce rates are lower in the New England states (and Wisconsin of all places) than the rest of the country.

If you just want to go out and have a couple of drinks and bat the breeze with a few people and don't desire more of a relationship then try a few of the area bars in local Hotels or by Bradley International Airport. If the Cloud Nine is still at Bradley that would be a good place to find people that probably are just passing through along with a few regulars that hang out at the place.

[paper doll]

For all its unfriendly reputation, I for one think it's fairly easy for New Englanders to make friends if, say, you're dating their friend. That's not an option for a married gal, though... which leaves me with little options. I'm in school which gives me plenty of opportunities to meet people, and I do know people, but I wouldn't call them my friends. As an outsider, I'm not appreciating this New Englander attitude, though. Lighten up, people. We don't have cooties.

[WILWRadio]

paper doll. It's really not a question of lightening up but one of whether or not people are going to want to change their habits. New Englanders are very clique-ish and basically just hang out with a few people. Essentially you may have half a dozen good friends, another dozen or so that you might rub elbows with at various social functions and then a couple dozen acquaintances that you simply say "hello" to and little else.

A woman that I am acquainted with from my school days in Simsbury reinforced this way of life very recently. She currently lives in Ohio (employed as a School System Psychologist) but said she is still very much a New Englander. She told me she has about 2 really good friends (one in NY and from Simsbury) and then a few others that she knows and that is about the extent of her social circle. She's comfortable with that.

I also have a friend in Minnesota that is currently a VP for NW Airlines. He's from Canton. He has a few acquaintances up there but no real friends despite having been there for 20 years. No big deal to him because he has his family and most of his real friends are in New England.

Kansas City has been a real experience for me. If you think it is bad there? Try the jerks out here on for size. I've never made any friends here beyond the casual acquaintance here and there. They've got bigger issues than people in ANY other place I've lived. I've actually had a number of women tell me to my face that they don't like me or don't want to go out with me etc. And with some men I hear "I don't like you". I've never been to a place where if I simply say hello to a woman that she thinks I am hitting on her and want to go out with her. No wonder I get rejected when I am not even asking them out. I've never wanted to date the women here and that makes it all the more wild! I've talked to outsiders like myself about these problems and I was assured I am NOT the problem.

I don't give a damn because I am not trying to win a popularity contest out here. I've got friends in other parts of the country and plenty in New England and I certainly don't need the kind of phony, shallow people that I meet out here in my social circle. What's amusing about all this is that when these people say these things to my face they honestly believe they are hurting my feelings. In reality it is like music to my ears. New England culture is a complete 180 degrees from there own and they'll never even comprehend that I don't care whether or not I want them as friends or to be liked here.

Essentially, I don't think anyone believes you have cooties. Our culture is different than most in the country and it takes a long time for some people to adapt to new ideas or things or to accept outsiders. Your best bet at making some friends is probably with other newcomers that share common interests. I hope my experiences and that of my friends will help you to see this in a different light.