[exblevi]

Hi, I'd like some help deciding whether to relocate to Connecticut from Virginia. I live in the suburbs of Midlothian outside of Richmond, and would be looking to move with my partner and our baby to southern CT. He's from Waterford/New London area and has family there, so we would probably want to be nearby to them. We recently visited CT and I loved Mystic and Niantic areas, but I know they're more expensive, so that may be a goal for later on. New London or Groton or similar places may be more realistic for now. Currently we're both 24 years old with a 1 month old son. I've lived in VA my whole life- from the southwest Appalachians, then spent 6 years in Hampton Roads (Norfolk) with some time in Richmond metro area, where we recently moved to for my job. I'm a recent graduate starting my career in mental health (masters level, art therapy and counseling) and he's a security guard with prior experience in restaurants. At my current job I make 41,500 a year, and would need to make more in CT to afford the cost of living. Jobs for him are more like 10-15 an hour until he's certified in armed security. Rent for us here is 1,000/month. We're both independent leaning liberal, laidback, and openminded. He makes music and I'm an artist. We love nature, being close to the coast, and live music, and we are turned off by Virginia being so crowded, conservative and commercialized. I would like to feel more of a sense of community, which southern CT seems to have. The towns there are charming and cute. Also, CT has a state licensure for my field, whereas VA does not. I would want to continue working in the public/nonprofit sector to be able to pay off my student loans with PSLF, so I'd be looking for a job with state or city government or public schools. My concerns are affordability, suitability to raise a child, culture, and things I may not know about CT that could persuade me against it. I've heard winters are harsh there and I love my hot VA summers, but could maybe settle for a little less heat. I am really just tired of VA and want something new and different that could feel like a home for us, but want to be sure that it's a good fit. My partner is very homesick for CT and want to make sure that he's not overhyping it because of how he feels. Opinions?

[Stylo]

New London public schools aren’t great, so that’s something to keep in mind.

It sounds like you’d like the coastline from New Haven to about East Lyme.

Here’s why:

- New Haven is the live music capital of the state. Tons of venues. Big and small, symphonies to local rock shows, and even a new outdoor venue coming soon, Westville Bowl. A strong arts and culture scene in general
- New Haven is also the healthcare capital of the state for your work opportunities
- The shoreline towns are all incredibly charming and aren’t as dense as towns west of New Haven, yet still have a good community vibe
- While the schools aren’t the best, they are still good in Clinton, which is a great value
- Other towns to consider: Branford, Guilford, Madison, Westbrook, Old Saybrook, Old Lyme, East Lyme

[MrGompers]

I would like to add that it is extremely difficult to get a State of CT or city/town Govt job. I wouldn't waste any time pursuing those, but if something fell into your lap might as well check it out.


As for your boyfriend if he isn't invested in a career yet and/or attending college check out US postal service. They are always hiring. Start around $17 an hour. He will need clean driving record though if he wants to be a mail carrier.

[nico7]

East Lyme is nice but could be pricey and not very many rentals.

Branford is about a 45-min drive from Waterford and is a popular choice. The area has something for everyone and is commutable to New Haven. Rent might be higher than you'd want.

You might find a bargain in Clinton, but I don't know if there are very many rental units... there is less happening, but it is does have the shoreline CT vibe. Not very close to job centers, but could be a good value.

For more rental options, you might look at Middletown, which has good commuting options and could get you to New London via Route 9->95.

If you want something relaxed with not a lot of action, you might like the CT river valley, e.g., Deep River -- it's off the beaten path a little bit, but you may save money for that reason (maybe not very many rentals, though -- but you could get lucky and find something where nobody is looking).

[JayCT]

Connecticut is one of the best states to raise a child. It has one of the best quality of life’s in the country. Our public schools are among the best in the country as well as access to healthcare.

I agree with the suggestion to consider the New Haven area. It would have more opportunities for work than New London. According to Sperlings Cost of Living Calculator a comparable salary in New Haven to $41,500 would be $44,415. Not a big difference. New London would be less so pretty similar to Richmond.

Moderator cut: link removed, competitor site

Arguably the suburbs are the best place to live. Unlike other parts of the country, Connecticuts cities are small in area and their suburbs are independent towns. We do not have unincorporated areas and there are no county governments. It’s just town governments and the state.

Schools are mostly run by each town but there are several regional school districts for very small towns. I know you have a small child but if you want a town with good schools I would consider the towns Stylo mentioned.

One thing you should be aware of is in Connecticut you will pay property taxes on your cars even if you rent. Each town is different so be careful which town you select. Look for a town with lower mill rates to save money. Good luck and welcome. Jay

[DairyGodmother]

Please think long and hard about moving from VA to CT if you don't have a network/family here. Spend some time here, talk to people, see if you could be comfortable before you take the plunge. Who knows, maybe it will suit you just fine. I find people here cold and unwelcoming - whenever I travel to other parts of the country I'm always startled when random people in stores, etc are friendly and cordial...I"m like, OH YEAH that's how you treat people!! I moved here when I had my first baby and it was a lonely place. If you are outgoing and/or don't care about socializing maybe you'd be fine. The schools are indeed amazing and there are a lot of recreational options...not to mention some proximity to Boston/NYC. Good luck.

[nico7]

Originally Posted by DairyGodmother

I find people here cold and unwelcoming - whenever I travel to other parts of the country I'm always startled when random people in stores, etc are friendly and cordial...I"m like, OH YEAH that's how you treat people!! I moved here when I had my first baby and it was a lonely place.

A lot of people, especially from the South and parts of the Midwest experience this, and I even noticed the difference when I lived in Cincinnati for a few years. The people in CT are reserved, and unfortunately, the friendlier someone tries to be, the more it may seem insincere to people here (probably true anywhere from New Jersey to Maine). It can take a long time and regular participation in routine activities before people form friendships. That’s the major difference really, that in CT people are friendly with their friends, and otherwise they do not expect much interaction with “strangers” (or new residents, until they are familiar). There are exceptions of course, but often it takes some time for people to get to know you.

[Stylo]

Originally Posted by DairyGodmother

Please think long and hard about moving from VA to CT if you don't have a network/family here. Spend some time here, talk to people, see if you could be comfortable before you take the plunge. Who knows, maybe it will suit you just fine. I find people here cold and unwelcoming - whenever I travel to other parts of the country I'm always startled when random people in stores, etc are friendly and cordial...I"m like, OH YEAH that's how you treat people!! I moved here when I had my first baby and it was a lonely place. If you are outgoing and/or don't care about socializing maybe you'd be fine. The schools are indeed amazing and there are a lot of recreational options...not to mention some proximity to Boston/NYC. Good luck.

The OP did state they have family here

[Stylo]

Originally Posted by nico7

A lot of people, especially from the South and parts of the Midwest experience this, and I even noticed the difference when I lived in Cincinnati for a few years. The people in CT are reserved, and unfortunately, the friendlier someone tries to be, the more it may seem insincere to people here (probably true anywhere from New Jersey to Maine). It can take a long time and regular participation in routine activities before people form friendships. That’s the major difference really, that in CT people are friendly with their friends, and otherwise they do not expect much interaction with “strangers” (or new residents, until they are familiar). There are exceptions of course, but often it takes some time for people to get to know you.

On the other hand, phony/fake friendliness is rare.

[CTartist]

Originally Posted by DairyGodmother

Please think long and hard about moving from VA to CT if you don't have a network/family here. Spend some time here, talk to people, see if you could be comfortable before you take the plunge. Who knows, maybe it will suit you just fine. I find people here cold and unwelcoming - whenever I travel to other parts of the country I'm always startled when random people in stores, etc are friendly and cordial...I"m like, OH YEAH that's how you treat people!! I moved here when I had my first baby and it was a lonely place. If you are outgoing and/or don't care about socializing maybe you'd be fine. The schools are indeed amazing and there are a lot of recreational options...not to mention some proximity to Boston/NYC. Good luck.

Do you live in Fairfield County? What town or area of CT are you in?