[bomgd3]

Hey everyone,
A little background. I'm 34 and grew up mostly in the Midwest, but we moved here to Avon in high school in the early 2000's. Avon was a pretty miserable place for a teenager with no car, and my neighborhood was basically lifeless houses without even a sidewalk. Since then I've lived in New Hampshire for many years (very rural areas, don't see many folks) and then Shaker Heights Ohio for 3 years. Shaker Heights was one of the best places I've ever lived. It reminded me of growing up in Clayton MO, with kids roaming all around the streets and neighbors always out and about. For family reasons we recently moved back to CT. I really didn't want a cold lifeless car-dependent suburb like Avon so we ended up moving to West Hartford. We found a really ideal location with lots of little kids on the block, about 2 blocks from West Hartford Center.

I thought this would be an incredible place to raise my family, and in many ways it is. But one of the weirdest things I've noticed is - WHERE ARE THE KIDS??? My street supposedly is filled with dozens of children. But you'd NEVER know that by walking down the street at any time of the day. Sometimes I walk by and see a few neighborhood kids in their backyard. But there are essentially no kids playing in front of their houses, playing in the street, walking to each others' houses, or really doing much of anything.

About a week ago we had our first real snow. My 4 year old daughter and I put on our gear and went out to build snowmen, make snow angels, throw snowballs, etc. This was a Sunday afternoon. We were the ONLY people out on our street. There were no children playing in the snow except us!

I know that compared to Midwesterners, New Englanders tend to keep to themselves more and are less openly neighborly. But it's downright eerie that I live on street full of young children but there is hardly any life on the street. I worry about the rise of screen addiction, anxiety, depression, obesity, and suicidality in children, and I think many of these problems are rooted in kids lacking free play, the freedom to build independence, and spontaneous social networks. When I grew up in Clayton in the 90's, us children practically had our own adult-free society. We had the run of the entire neighborhood, walked to school and back on our own, and stayed out til dusk most days. We didn't even have cell phones so our parents just trusted that we'd make it home. Most of us didn't even have wristwatches. I'm not saying that this parenting style is common anymore to that extreme, but MANY young children in Shaker Heights still walk around the neighborhood independently today, so it's surprising to me that hardly any are outside in West Hartford, either independently or with their parents.

Why is this? Is it cultural that New Englanders just don't go out? Is it because West Hartford is more affluent than Shaker Heights so people are workaholics, perhaps more status-conscious (check out the cars with Yale, Harvard, Princeton stickers!), and therefore over-scheduling their kids? Are people here more concerned about children's safety so they don't play outside, even though West Hartford is likely much safer statistically than (for instance) Shaker Heights, an inner ring suburb that is mere blocks away from the worst neighborhoods in Cleveland? Are you all worried about the kids not going outside and playing in their neighborhood? Is my neighborhood in West Hartford an outlier and in fact Connecticut children are out and about?

[BobNJ1960]

Its 2022 cultural.

I am a Milford native, and decades back, played with many kids on my street plus nearby neighborhood several days a week.

The changes you mentioned are not healthy, but when I was growing up, less than 10% of the houses changed owners in twenty years.

We have become a detached state in a detached nation. My nephew and nieces in Illinois interact with kids only at sporting events, more focused on how the extracurriculars will look on a college application.

I share your concerns 100%.

[htfdcolt]

Originally Posted by bomgd3

Why is this? Is it cultural that New Englanders just don't go out? Is it because West Hartford is more affluent than Shaker Heights so people are workaholics, perhaps more status-conscious (check out the cars with Yale, Harvard, Princeton stickers!), and therefore over-scheduling their kids? Are people here more concerned about children's safety so they don't play outside, even though West Hartford is likely much safer statistically than (for instance) Shaker Heights, an inner ring suburb that is mere blocks away from the worst neighborhoods in Cleveland? Are you all worried about the kids not going outside and playing in their neighborhood? Is my neighborhood in West Hartford an outlier and in fact Connecticut children are out and about?

Also from the Midwest. Lived in WH for 9 yrs with children who attended elementary through high school, and observed the same. Kids made friends through school, but would never see them playing in the street. I think it's typical New England aloofness.

[Charlie&Rose]

Same here in the south. Kids would rather be playing video games.

[Stylo]

I think part of it is cultural. I grew up in a rural-ish area and we rode our bikes, played in the woods, etc. We also played video games, but there was balance.

It’s so much worse now. Kids are glued to screens.

That said, where I live in Milford, you do see a lot of kids out playing. Way more than where I grew up now, where seeing any neighborhood kids would be RARE.

I’m near the water in a fairly dense area, so that probably helps. And lots of people are usually out biking, running, etc when the weather is nice. We have little parks with basketball courts, beaches nearby that kids convene at too. It’s actually an issue with young kids riding their bikes in traffic. They can be pretty unsafe about it. We were always smart about it as kids.

[Cambium]

Originally Posted by bomgd3

About a week ago we had our first real snow. My 4 year old daughter and I put on our gear and went out to build snowmen, make snow angels, throw snowballs, etc. This was a Sunday afternoon. We were the ONLY people out on our street. There were no children playing in the snow except us!

That was my favorite part of the post.


I agree, kids nowadays are not outside as much as the past. Thank video games for that and parents who have anxiety about it not being safe anywhere

[malcorub16]

It's a bad trend but at least it has its pluses though, at least kids (young teens) aren't running wild like they were in 80s and 90s. Compared to what I was doing at 14, my nephews and nieces are saints just glued to their screens.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBy9VDEWKOE

[SteveM85]

Strange question, it's a layup, everyone knows it's due to Big Tech screens and devices, Roblox, online gaming, creeps driving slowly canvassing neighborhoods. Times change.
It's nothing to do with New England aloofness. Tens of Millions of kids played outdoors throughout CT and NE in decades prior to tech advances and creepy drivers.

[bomgd3]

Originally Posted by SteveM85

Strange question, it's a layup, everyone knows it's due to Big Tech screens and devices, Roblox, online gaming, creeps driving slowly canvassing neighborhoods. Times change.
It's nothing to do with New England aloofness. Tens of Millions of kids played outdoors throughout CT and NE in decades prior to tech advances and creepy drivers.

As I said, it's dramatically different here compared to Shaker Heights where I moved from. Shaker is teeming with kids. They are always outside and it adds a lot of life and sociability to the experience of living there. So screens are probably a part of it, but my experience in WeHa is much different that I experienced in Ohio. It seems like you are... really worried about creeps, since you mentioned them twice. But the overall crime rate here is extremely low. Certainly much lower than Shaker.

[SteveM85]

Originally Posted by bomgd3

As I said, it's dramatically different here compared to Shaker Heights where I moved from. Shaker is teeming with kids. They are always outside and it adds a lot of life and sociability to the experience of living there. So screens are probably a part of it, but my experience in WeHa is much different that I experienced in Ohio. It seems like you are... really worried about creeps, since you mentioned them twice. But the overall crime rate here is extremely low. Certainly much lower than Shaker.

I hear the food is great in West Hartford. I hate when people say "Weha" or "Cali"
CT is 4th in the nation in porch piracy this year, always be on alert for cars drivng slowly through neighborhoods, sometimes they park and stop randomly for a few minutes, then take off.

Most CT kids are at sports, after school programs and clubs, gymnastics, dance, ballet, theatre. When they get home their too tired out and hangry for the streets so it's right to the frig folllowed by the couch with a joystick or an Ipad. As they like to say these days, it is what it is.