[ryanthegoldengod]

Originally Posted by WestRiverTraveler

We relocated to shoreline CT 2 1/2 years ago. We've made plenty of friends. The main sources have been a newcomers group and parenting connections, with a lot of overlap between the two. Even in Boston before we moved, parenting groups were the main source of new friends. I also joined volunteer fire, but so far, those have been more casual connections. I've socialed with those guys much beyond fire related stuff.

When you're a kid this never dawns on you: that you are actually responsible for helping your parents make friends. Or, for that matter, you don't realize how society is practically organized around you.

[SteveM85]

Originally Posted by Adam Warlock

Are you in the Hartford area experiencing outgoing people?

No, party animals in Gold Coast County.
From what I hear, people in West Hartford, Guildford and Madison have what I like to call Head Money. That's when you're ego and head grow exponentially larger due to moving in to a certain town with perceived affluence. It's not an issue in Gold Coast County because it's assumed up front that you already have the larger ego.
My best advise would be just go with the flow.

All the best

[Lincolnian]

Originally Posted by Adam Warlock

This is helpful insight. I wonder.. are the quiet and reserved people around Hartford, CT so reserved that they do not want to meet new people, unless they know you for the last 20+ years?

That has not been my experience and i have lived in several different communities in and around the Hartford area. I have gotten to know my neighbors in each area, even the reserved ones warm up if you treat people well. In some cases it something as little as snowblowing the end of someone's driveway and doing their sidewalk when you see that they are away. Before you know it the whole culture around you changes. All it took was an ice breaker.

[JayCT]

Originally Posted by Adam Warlock

Are you in the Hartford area experiencing outgoing people?

No, Steve lives in Fairfield County. Jay

[MikefromCT]

Originally Posted by SteveM85

From what I hear, people in West Hartford, Guildford and Madison have what I like to call Head Money. That's when you're ego and head grow exponentially larger due to moving in to a certain town with perceived affluence. It's not an issue in Gold Coast County because it's assumed up front that you already have the larger ego.

Oh, I've encountered what you described in Fairfield County. Not often, but I've seen it. It ain't all old Yankee money down there. There's plenty of people downstate who need to learn to check their egos at the door — just as they need to in West Hartford, where I used to live and (relievedly) have since left. Where I now live, there's muted affluence here (if that makes sense), at least where I live.

IMO this map succinctly sums up Connecicut:
https://i.redd.it/s95erkjdssk01.png

To the OP: Connecticut is typical Yankeedom. Aloofness is endemic here, more frequent is some towns than others. Not saying that coldness is unique to the Northeast, but this seems to be the one part of the country where such behavior is considered a virtue.

Living here, the emphasis is less on attracting and retaining young talent in various sectors, and more on above-average schools and being family-oriented. In short, nobody moves to Connecticut for the nightlife — they move here for the quality of life. CT scores high marks in this latter category, but for anyone seeking fun weekend activities other bars with cover bands, events are few and far between. We have activities and events, but they aren't always well-publicized. A handful of cities provide most of the state's arts and entertainment (Stamford and New Haven, to a lesser extend Middletown and Hartford). Some suburbs pride themselves on their "nightlife", but this is comprised almost entirely of eateries, and that gets old real fast.

If move here, I suggest getting involved in a group you're passionate about, be it a nonprofit or support group, church or synagogue, or a sports league or civic club. Some towns even have newcomers groups where people connect via social media. I have a PT weekend job (in addition to my FT job) where I work in the beer industry, and I've made several friends through here, so this is another possibility.

[WestRiverTraveler]

Originally Posted by SteveM85

No, party animals in Gold Coast County.
From what I hear, people in West Hartford, Guildford and Madison have what I like to call Head Money. That's when you're ego and head grow exponentially larger due to moving in to a certain town with perceived affluence. It's not an issue in Gold Coast County because it's assumed up front that you already have the larger ego.
My best advise would be just go with the flow.

All the best

I feel attacked.

Just kidding, but we did encounter one person who had a big case of this - a new money Karen who married well and didn't like to admit she's a just middle class girl from Waterford. Thinks Madison is Westport and she's arrived. She made a crack to my wife, "Your husband is teacher, I'm surprised you can afford Madison." My wife just responded, "well, our house here is much less expensive than the one we owned in Boston. Madison was cheap for us."

[Stylo]

Originally Posted by WestRiverTraveler

I feel attacked.

Just kidding, but we did encounter one person who had a big case of this - a new money Karen who married well and didn't like to admit she's a just middle class girl from Waterford. Thinks Madison is Westport and she's arrived. She made a crack to my wife, "Your husband is teacher, I'm surprised you can afford Madison." My wife just responded, "well, our house here is much less expensive than the one we owned in Boston. Madison was cheap for us."

Woof. Well, for whatever reason Westport seems to be the model for nouveau riche snootiness in CT. Maybe some in Madison are inspired.

[MikefromCT]

Originally Posted by WestRiverTraveler

I feel attacked.

Just kidding, but we did encounter one person who had a big case of this - a new money Karen who married well and didn't like to admit she's a just middle class girl from Waterford. Thinks Madison is Westport and she's arrived. She made a crack to my wife, "Your husband is teacher, I'm surprised you can afford Madison." My wife just responded, "well, our house here is much less expensive than the one we owned in Boston. Madison was cheap for us."

This is West Hartford in a nutshell. It's reached a level of pretentiousness that's of biblical proportions. Again, it exists elsewhere throughout greater Hartford, but it's here where it's most rampant. I also met some lovely people who are on the level and friendly, even formed some lasting friendships with people in town, but they're not the majority. More often than not, people here tend to get swept away by their own vanity and there's little regard for others. The cognitive dissonance between their liberal-leaning, social justice ideals and their unwillingness to treat everyday people with minimal respect or civility is breathtaking.

[SteveM85]

Originally Posted by MikefromCT

This is West Hartford in a nutshell. It's reached a level of pretentiousness that's of biblical proportions. Again, it exists elsewhere throughout greater Hartford, but it's here where it's most rampant. I also met some lovely people who are on the level and friendly, even formed some lasting friendships with people in town, but they're not the majority. More often than not, people here tend to get swept away by their own vanity and there's little regard for others. The cognitive dissonance between their liberal-leaning, social justice ideals and their unwillingness to treat everyday people with minimal respect or civility is breathtaking.

These are the people who love and revere CT. Lamont is a mythical hero. I hear from them all the time. You should see the texts and photos they send.
They're out protesting with signs on the bridge in Westport center.

"We're so blessed to live here" (pics of kids and dogs frollicking on beach)
"Another amazing day in CT with the team" (video or pic of kid scoring TD or hitting home run)
"OMG!! what a day. Love.Love.Love CT (heart emojis)"
"We are sooooo lucky" (with a closeup pic of a glass of wine and a sunset in the background)
It's neverending

[WestRiverTraveler]

Originally Posted by MikefromCT

This is West Hartford in a nutshell. It's reached a level of pretentiousness that's of biblical proportions. Again, it exists elsewhere throughout greater Hartford, but it's here where it's most rampant. I also met some lovely people who are on the level and friendly, even formed some lasting friendships with people in town, but they're not the majority. More often than not, people here tend to get swept away by their own vanity and there's little regard for others. The cognitive dissonance between their liberal-leaning, social justice ideals and their unwillingness to treat everyday people with minimal respect or civility is breathtaking.

It's funny you assume that women is a liberal and cares about social justice. She's not and she doesn't. Not everything needs to be political, and there is plenty of snobbery and douchbaggery to go around in all political leanings.