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The reality of this is that it just lack class and empathy for those who really lost. Yes, she lost money and her "special day" and I don't blame her for being upset about that that; but she seems blind to the larger issue - people are dead.
I think a normal person would realize that the people who were murdered were still not even settled into their resting place when she wanted to raise money to compensate herself. What she should have done is created a page expressing sympathy for those people murdered by her brother and asked that any donations be sent directly to the church and the families of the dead, and been done with it.
What one or more of her guests could have done (IMO), is realize that through no fault of her own, she is now in a financial bind for the cancelled wedding plans and:
waiting until those killed were respectfully burried and SOME healing time had passed
asked to catering company, the venue, and other creditors associated with the wedding to cut or lower their bills to cover cost only
created a fund-me page directed specifically at all those who were planning to attend the wedding, asking that the guests of the cancelled party send a donation to cover the cost of the reception - the costs that were not reduced by creditors. It might not have covered all of her cost, but it may have covered some.
worded that funding page to acknowledge that the people killed were the primary victims and ask that donations also be sent to those families care of the church.
indicate on this funding page that any donations OVER the recouped cost of the wedding would be sent to the families of the dead. Indicating too that no funds would be used for any rescheduled party or honeymoon.
But the way she did it just seems to me to be about her. I don't know the woman or her family but after seeing how she handled this, I am not too sure her views are that far from her brothers - I am not sure how else this insensitivity could be explained.
Status:
"Mistress of finance and foods."
(set 21 days ago)
Location: Coastal Georgia
50,036 posts, read 63,384,408 times
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It seems icky to me.
Maybe if the sister, and the rest of the family put as much time into getting their brother/son mental health help, as they did thinking about a wedding, the tragedy wouldn't have happened.
I cannot believe this is even getting covered. Their wedding day is not the issue. The issue is that a close relative killed 9 innocent people. News flash: This could have negative consequences for any upcoming social events. I think that they should cancel things for now or at least substantially delay any displays of celebration in respect to the families of those who lost their lives in this atrocity.
The problem is... it can't be planned for.
"Oh, my brother's going to ruin his reputation and murder innocent in two weeks. I guess I should move up the wedding?"
They DID cancel the wedding the moment the bad news came out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WeHa
I'm not sorry her "special day" got ruined. Weddings are fun and great but in our society it's become more about having an awesome party than it is about the marriage and the love and lifelong commitment of that day.
If she had contributed to Dylan Roof's condition you would be right. Unless evidence of that appears, I will say: you are wrong. You should feel sorry for her and you must acknowledge that your feelings are wrong. I know you can't make yourself feel a certain way towards something, but you should say "I feel XXX, but I know it's wrong."
I agree that canceling a wedding is not on the same magnitude as having a relative die. However it's a very severe thing to have your very special day ruined because your brother committed a hate crime murder. That's still incredibly messed up and she doesn't deserve that.
In my view it's not "Oh poor me my suffering is at the same level as the people he shot and their families." It's, "I did nothing wrong and my brother ****ed up what was supposed to be my special day!"
Hey, I'm not going to dump on this woman. I don't think that what she is asking is so outrageous or disrespectful of those whose lives were lost. She identified her brother to police, I am sure the media was camped out all over her house, I know that by canceling her wedding she is out a goodly some of money. She has promised to use the money to pay bill finance a decent honeymoon and to donate 10% to Emanuel Church. Like I said, I'm not going to dump on her.
I agree.
FWIW, it's horrific what her brother did, but life goes on. Do you expect her to mourn the dead for a year before she can go back to her regularly scheduled plans? A day that was supposed to be full of joy and new beginnings was hijacked by her stupid brother. At this point, she probably wants to go on her honeymoon to take her mind off the sadness and reality of how much money just got flushed down the toilet for a while. Can you blame her?
"Oh, my brother's going to ruin his reputation and murder innocent in two weeks. I guess I should move up the wedding?"
They DID cancel the wedding the moment the bad news came out.
If she had contributed to Dylan Roof's condition you would be right. Unless evidence of that appears, I will say: you are wrong. You should feel sorry for her and you must acknowledge that your feelings are wrong. I know you can't make yourself feel a certain way towards something, but you should say "I feel XXX, but I know it's wrong."
I agree that canceling a wedding is not on the same magnitude as having a relative die. However it's a very severe thing to have your very special day ruined because your brother committed a hate crime murder. That's still incredibly messed up and she doesn't deserve that.
In my view it's not "Oh poor me my suffering is at the same level as the people he shot and their families." It's, "I did nothing wrong and my brother ****ed up what was supposed to be my special day!"
I wouldn't give two ****s about ANY of this if she hadn't started a GofundMe page when all of the victims her brother slaughtered hadn't even been buried yet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vicman
You should feel sorry for her and you must acknowledge that your feelings are wrong.
Please don't tell me how I should feel or that my feelings are wrong.
This woman turned her brother in to the police. If she had not called the Charleston PD to let them know who the shooter was, he would not have been caught so fast, if at all. She did the right thing. Anyone dumping on this poor woman should hope they are never put into a similar situation.
So I won't criticize her for what she does with her private life. She deserves to be left alone.
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