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Whoa, so now handling a mixed race child is somehow different than handling a white child? Seriously?
This isn't a difference in the level of care the child needs, like a handicapped child. So yes, it DOES make her a racist. She had a problem with her perfectly happy and healthy child once she found out it wasn't white. Yup, that's racist.
To someone who has zero experience with people of color, how to have relationships with them, how to interact, no cultural knowledge, and no idea how to do their hair, yes it is different. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I'm saying it is outside her realm of experience and she knew she was not equipped to handle it.
Knowing what you are able to handle and not able to handle does not make one a racist. I have thought about doing foster care for years, but I know I can't handle kids with severe special needs. I know that's out of my realm of experience and comfort. Does that make me a bigot?
Dear lord, you're comparing skin color or hair texture to a handicap???????
She's an admitted racist. This was her statement: "But she said that she was raised around stereotypical attitudes toward minorities and that she has 'limited cultural competency' with African-Americans."
I'm not sure how that can be true, however, since we all know only white, heterosexual men can be racists......
I just find it incredibly ironic that she's a lesbian who expects people to treat her without discrimination and yet she's also a self proclaimed racist.
Wow. Just WOW.
Karma, karma.
I just wish her karma didn't involve an innocent child.
To someone who has zero experience with people of color, how to have relationships with them, how to interact, no cultural knowledge, and no idea how to do their hair, yes it is different. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I'm saying it is outside her realm of experience and she knew she was not equipped to handle it.
Here's how you "have a relationship with" and "interact with" a child - ANY child, regardless of skin tone or hair texture:
You accept them as they are.
You love them unconditionally.
You encourage them to love what's unique and special about themselves.
You make sure they're in an environment that's safe and loving.
You don't have to treat kids with varying skin colors any differently just because their skin is darker or lighter than yours.
All kids need love, acceptance, and encouragement and with those basic building blocks in place, everything else tends to line right out.
I know what I'm talking about by the way. My family is very multicultural and includes several kids of different races adopted from other countries. Guess what - we had no prior experience with Korean people, "how to have relationships with them, how to interact, no cultural knowledge, no idea how to do their hair" yada yada yada. Guess what we found out very quickly - kids are kids. They all have the same basic needs. And we don't have to treat Korean kids any differently from any other kids just because they are Korean for pete's sake.
To someone who has zero experience with people of color, how to have relationships with them, how to interact, no cultural knowledge, and no idea how to do their hair, yes it is different. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I'm saying it is outside her realm of experience and she knew she was not equipped to handle it.
You've certainly earned your screen name. That's all I've got to say about that.
Here's how you "have a relationship with" and "interact with" a child - ANY child, regardless of skin tone or hair texture:
You accept them as they are.
You love them unconditionally.
You encourage them to love what's unique and special about themselves.
You make sure they're in an environment that's safe and loving.
You don't have to treat kids with varying skin colors any differently just because their skin is darker or lighter than yours.
All kids need love, acceptance, and encouragement and with those basic building blocks in place, everything else tends to line right out.
I know what I'm talking about by the way. My family is very multicultural and includes several kids of different races adopted from other countries. Guess what - we had no prior experience with Korean people, "how to have relationships with them, how to interact, no cultural knowledge, no idea how to do their hair" yada yada yada. Guess what we found out very quickly - kids are kids. They all have the same basic needs. And we don't have to treat Korean kids any differently from any other kids just because they are Korean for pete's sake.
Sheeze!
Look, *I* know that, but to someone who has no multicultural experience, *they* don't know that. I don't treat children any differently - I'm not agreeing with the woman in this case.
Look, *I* know that, but to someone who has no multicultural experience, *they* don't know that. I don't treat children any differently - I'm not agreeing with the woman in this case.
But you're certainly defending her... I don't think anyone blames this woman for wanting a white baby from the white male sperm donor that she was assured the baby would be the result of-most people have babies that are the same race and so her request is not the issue.
Once the child was born and it was apparent that the child was not white, I don't blame the woman for being shocked, momentarily upset, and angry with the clinic for promising something that was not delivered. Her reaction and her "request" are not unreasonable.
However once it was clear that this was her "child" and that things went wrong she ultimately needed to come to a decision-is she going to put this baby up for adoption and sue this clinic for not abiding by what she was promised or is she going to keep the baby, learn to love her regardless and accept some of the additional obstacles that come with raising a child that is not white like her?
But what she did that many of us have issue with is that she kept this child AND sued this company for not giving her the white baby she desired then listed a series of reasons as to what she has endured and what she will have to endure raising this child. Meanwhile the picture of the child is posted for the public to see as is this law suit and this poor child will grow up and if she ever is curious about her background will find this suit by her parents. Parents that made the decision to keep her and should love her unconditionally but instead seem to indicate(based on the arguments in the article) that her presence is an inconveniance and that they should have gotten that white baby.
Not to mention as a woman of color that grew up in dupage county I can certainly say that some of what she said is not necessarily accurate. There are diverse locations in dupage county that have plenty of AA salons-I never had to travel far and into different counties to get my hair done at all. I also went to different schools in dupage county and while the schools did have a large population of white kids there were decent percentages of black and brown kids-to the point where this girl would hardly be an outcast or a lone shark in a sea of only white faces. The only thing I cannot comment on entirely is how she is treated as a white woman in a black salon. I've been to many black salons where white women brought their biracial children and I never witnessed anyone treat a biracial Client or a white client poorly. But I also realize that this does not mean that this has not happened to her. Still, I'm sure she's been treated poorly as a lesbian-yet I know that this did not detour her from living her life and loving her partner? Why would bad experiences at a hair salon be used as indications that it's too hard to parent this child?
Really what it sounds like is a woman that as a result of her child is now in an unfamiliar territory where she's had to look at her privilege as a white woman in an entirely different light. She now has to be aware of race in a way that is very uncomfortable for her. The very fact that she still has this child yet made the decision to sue is problematic to me. I won't say she is racist but based on her decision to pursue this "case" doesn't really sound like a loving mother that wants her child. And if her main source of distress is because of the child's race, surely you can see how once it's all added up it sure does appear to those on the outside, that she is racist and does not really want this child?
That I believe is why many of us cannot defend her the way you are.. But the fact that you are defending her the way you are is a little strange but whatever. Looks like the case was thrown out and this woman will now have to come to terms with this child. I only hope that she treats the child right.
Last edited by Faith2187; 09-09-2015 at 01:26 PM..
To someone who has zero experience with people of color, how to have relationships with them, how to interact, no cultural knowledge, and no idea how to do their hair, yes it is different. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I'm saying it is outside her realm of experience and she knew she was not equipped to handle it.
Other than "hair", what does any of the rest have to do with raising this child?
What kind of person pays to select the race of their child?
White people, Black people, Indian people, etc. Anyone that wants a child who looks like them.
Anyway, our government is the largest contributor to our current views on race. Who else is creating racial categories for people who aren't even different racially. No surprise that people are following suite.
If people would READ before making stupid comments(such as racism, biracial is a mistake etc etc) you will find that shespecifically asked for a particular type of child....that is her prerogative. No different then people choosing their spouse, boyfriendetc. The wording of the lawsuit is what cause the dismissal, the judge says shecan re-file her civil case under aclaim ofnegligence; which should have been the approach taking in the first place. I have never been to Sperm Bank either as apatient or a provider, but I would suspect that the basic in terms of spermclassification would be race, ethnicity, age at the least.
Last edited by rancenc; 09-09-2015 at 05:27 PM..
Reason: content
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