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Old 11-06-2015, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Hamburg, Deutschland
1,248 posts, read 823,397 times
Reputation: 1915

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Also, why is it necessary to enroll the kids into something competitive as early as possible? Baseball, football, competitive swimming etc. They will have plenty of competition all their life - in academics, in the workplace, even in dating. Personally, I would rather teach my (future) kids the joy of physical activity for its own sake. Swimming, cycling, running, skating, even a casual game of football can be relaxing and fun without the added stress of competition and running for No.1 in everything.
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Old 11-08-2015, 02:28 AM
 
Location: Chandler, AZ
5,800 posts, read 6,564,796 times
Reputation: 3151
Why do folks want to live out in the suburbs? In many cases for better schools and a much higher quality of life.

That's been the case here in LA for well over three decades minimum.
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Old 11-08-2015, 08:26 AM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
33,942 posts, read 22,512,088 times
Reputation: 25816
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marv101 View Post
Why do folks want to live out in the suburbs? In many cases for better schools and a much higher quality of life.

That's been the case here in LA for well over three decades minimum.
And is also the case where we live. It's either the burbs or pay for private school.
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Old 11-08-2015, 04:18 PM
 
17,815 posts, read 25,624,242 times
Reputation: 36278
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
Working full time and taking care of a house and children along with being active members of your community tends to take a lot of time. It has nothing to do with our position in the pecking order because that means **** in real life. It has everything to do with trying to take care of all the responsibilities many adults have, especially once they have children.
People have been doing it for decades Magritte. Especially since WW2.

You make it sound like this type of life just started, it has been going on for more than 60 years since people started moving out to the suburbs.

It's been more than 40 years since it was common to have mothers working outside the home. How did people manage this in the 70s and 80s?????

Why now has it become so stressful? IMO bad time management( kids with too many activities) and too preoccupied with that device in their hand. Focus on what you need to do, you don't have to check every text, see your friend's latest post on FB, if you're in the supermarket.....SHOP.

Many people do this to themselves.

Now with the Holidays coming up you get the ones "I'm so stressed about the Holidays", why? Why can't you just enjoy them and if Christmas shopping is too much for you than cut back on it. I have a friend who every year does, buying gifts for some relatives she can't even stand(and people who really don't need anything), I have suggested do a charitable donation in their name. It benefits someone who needs it and relieves you of your "holiday stress", of course that would be too easy.
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Old 11-09-2015, 12:32 AM
 
Location: Planet Woof
3,222 posts, read 4,567,541 times
Reputation: 10239
Having kids or not has nothing to do with the issue, first of all, so why mention that?
Anyway, like others said, make different choices to make your life what you want it to be. It's always been this way.
Cut back on activities. Move closer to work. Spend less time fretting over hand held devices that sap up time and attention, narrow down your daily focus, cultivate ways to relax and enjoy your life. Read, garden, cook, bird watch, take a hike in nature, bike with your kids, go to a movie. Get yourself out of the rat race.
''Life is not a dress rehearsal'' applies here.
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Old 11-09-2015, 03:47 AM
 
28,164 posts, read 25,289,646 times
Reputation: 16665
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
People have been doing it for decades Magritte. Especially since WW2.

You make it sound like this type of life just started, it has been going on for more than 60 years since people started moving out to the suburbs.

It's been more than 40 years since it was common to have mothers working outside the home. How did people manage this in the 70s and 80s?????

Why now has it become so stressful? IMO bad time management( kids with too many activities) and too preoccupied with that device in their hand. Focus on what you need to do, you don't have to check every text, see your friend's latest post on FB, if you're in the supermarket.....SHOP.

Many people do this to themselves.

Now with the Holidays coming up you get the ones "I'm so stressed about the Holidays", why? Why can't you just enjoy them and if Christmas shopping is too much for you than cut back on it. I have a friend who every year does, buying gifts for some relatives she can't even stand(and people who really don't need anything), I have suggested do a charitable donation in their name. It benefits someone who needs it and relieves you of your "holiday stress", of course that would be too easy.
People have not historically had to hold down two full time jobs, maintain a house, volunteer in their community, etc and so forth. Many people work 10-14 hour days now while in the 1940s-1970s many worked 8-10 hour days with one spouse at home and they were able to afford a middle class lifestyle.
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Old 11-09-2015, 05:37 AM
 
Location: New Albany, Indiana (Greater Louisville)
11,974 posts, read 25,462,489 times
Reputation: 12187
There are problems today but don't tell me it's soo much worse today. I was unemployed in the great recession and stayed home watching Youtube in a kitchen overflowing with food. During the Great Depression my grandpa hobo'ed on train cars for 100 miles (in weather that could be 105 F or -10F ) to find work. And back then there was no anti biotics or air conditioning. My family in the GD lived meal to meal, not pay check to pay check


--signed, a Millennial
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Old 11-09-2015, 06:50 AM
 
937 posts, read 743,177 times
Reputation: 2335
Even with me working part time while my husband works full time, I can attest that youth sports for our 2 kids impedes too much on our time and energy. These organizations are businesses trying to make a lot of money off kids with their constant offerings. I'm trying draw boundaries with it, and de emphasize the importance of it to my kids. My message is play, have fun, get in shape, but don't worry about being the best or winning all the time. Forget a college scholarship...it would take up too much time in college and few go pro anyway.

After 3 days of soccer practice and games on the weekends sometimes being 2 hours away since early August, I was so relieved when the season was finally over. The coach then emailed all the parents recently and invited the team to play in an extra 7 games on 7 weekends until Dec. with an indoor league. Most of the parents agreed to it, but I took a pass wanting to enjoy the holidays. Some of my son's friends literally play their sport year round with constant rounds of practice, games, and out of state tournaments and the parents are constantly shuttling these kids around. We are constantly getting barraged with emails to participate in clinics, camps, indoor leagues for both soccer and lacrosse, and one feels the pressure to compete with the many other kids who are constantly playing. We've consciously decided to just go moderate with the sports by drawing boundaries with time and money because I find the level of intense devotion to it to be oppressive and exhausting, and I see many families with 2-3 kids run ragged by it.
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Old 11-09-2015, 01:41 PM
 
Location: Nebraska
1,481 posts, read 1,377,819 times
Reputation: 1532
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
People have been doing it for decades Magritte. Especially since WW2.

You make it sound like this type of life just started, it has been going on for more than 60 years since people started moving out to the suburbs.

It's been more than 40 years since it was common to have mothers working outside the home. How did people manage this in the 70s and 80s?????

Why now has it become so stressful? IMO bad time management( kids with too many activities) and too preoccupied with that device in their hand. Focus on what you need to do, you don't have to check every text, see your friend's latest post on FB, if you're in the supermarket.....SHOP.

Many people do this to themselves.

Now with the Holidays coming up you get the ones "I'm so stressed about the Holidays", why? Why can't you just enjoy them and if Christmas shopping is too much for you than cut back on it. I have a friend who every year does, buying gifts for some relatives she can't even stand(and people who really don't need anything), I have suggested do a charitable donation in their name. It benefits someone who needs it and relieves you of your "holiday stress", of course that would be too easy.
I think too many people are trying to have it all. We suffer from affluenza. Honestly the way people live now is how I envisioned rich people living.
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Old 11-09-2015, 02:21 PM
 
Location: Londonderry, NH
41,479 posts, read 59,756,720 times
Reputation: 24863
Back in the early Neolithic (late 1950's) my family operated an amusement park. The miniature railroad was mostly started by my step father but later on built by me and some paid help. He was way too often too drunk to be very helpful. You talk about stress. That train and Carousel had to be operation by 6 pm every night and 3 pm every weekend no matter what. and I was 12 years old. Fortunately I was a damn good mechanic and, knowing no better, thought this was "normal".

I look around some 50 years later and see so many people running around trying to teach their kids to be perfect little angels by playing sports, being in the band or, Hallelujah, being on the FOOTBALL team. All apparently to show their equally frantic neighbors how much they care and what good parents they are. I feel sorry for the kids.

Fortunately for me, so long as I had the damn train running I could do pretty much what I pleased. What I pleased would have given them apoplexy if they ever figured it out.
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