12 yr old Boy beaten in school by classmate` Chicago suburb
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I knew the parents of a bully.
They kept complaining that no matter what they did, their sophomore son was always getting into trouble and beating other kids up.
One day the mother said that the school called that their sophomore son had beaten up a senior boy real bad.
The mother repeated the word "senior " to me twice with a sparkle in her eye and her lip was quivering to hold back a proud grin.
Do you think that sophomore bully doesn't pick up on how proud his mom is of his bullying ?
False pride in raising a bully. Lawyers will enjoy these parents.
My son's took self defense class's. None approved or encouraged violence.
My eldest son was beaten up pretty bad by three young guys looking for trouble. The police took the report. I filed charges. Three days later a knock comes at the door ...It's the thugs mom. In tears! Not tears of compassionate for what her son did! It was to convince me to drop the charges. That my son got his medical care done, so why all the fuss??
I listened to her side.. she honestly justified her son's behavior saying.. he likes his territory (gang mentality) and my son was in the wrong for walking past them! I walked her to the door..And called the detective in charge of this investigation. I had to file another charge for the mother interfering . To this day...17 years later...I'm still waiting for that mother and son to apologize. Guess something hasn't froze over for that to happen!
I was thinking about how when I was in highschool (in the early 90's), we had fights in school, but I do not remember ever having something so violent like this happen in my school.
I went to high school in one of the toniest, most affluent communities in the U.S. During 9th grade, a kid named Charlie chased me down two flights of stairs and through much of the school, whirling a bicycle chain. I wound up being able to hold a set of doors against him. When authorities finally arrived, Charlie told them that I had just bitten a dog outside the school's front door. My parents were "recommended" to find a private school for me. My mother favored this approach, my father not as much. Needless to say, Charlie was not disciplined.
During the summer I indicated that I would not cooperate in the process of relocating to a private school given the obvious injustice. Literally during the first week of school, now 10th grade, Charlie yanked a high stool out from under me in the school's weather center. It was lucky I wasn't badly hurt. Given my near-expulsion from school the previous June, I wasn't about to take this one up with the school.
My father came home early from work that day, feeling the early stages of the cancer recurrence that would kill him almost four months later to the day. My father got on the phone with Charlie's father. I didn't get to hear the conversation but I heard not a word from Charlie from that September day in 1972 until his unlamented (by me) death 40 years later. Parental involvement has a part if the school won't help.
The point is that schools don't like to get involved, both because they feel that the underlying arguments are petty (they are) and by the age of 12 (the subject of the thread) some teachers may worry about physical retaliation from the child is is disciplined. Let's just say Charlie was the kind of kid who would puncture a teacher's tire. I was not.
================================================== ================================================== =================
Quote:
Originally Posted by phetaroi
Obviously there could be a negligence factor involved here, but not necessarily. School personnel can't watch every kid every minute. Students and parents often contentiously complain if gym locker rooms are being patrolled by PE teachers (often calling them perverts). You don't want teachers watching inside bathrooms. There are often odd hallways where supervision is difficult because teachers also have to watch the hallway by their classroom while also keeping an eye on their classroom. And there are plenty of areas around the school (on the outside) that can't be adequately supervised. Sometimes schools just have to do the best they can in supervising all of a building and property.
We should control the child more and the physical environment less. As the OP suggests:
Quote:
Originally Posted by CGab
....the child who beat him had previous problems at the school, so as a parent it's very concerning that schools are not more prepared to deal with children with behavioral problems.
In many cases the schools know perfectly well who would do this kind of thing and who wouldn't. In the same weather center where the "stool" incident occurred, in fact within weeks, I met another student I had never known (and is now my closest friend). He was an honor student, very well-behaved and very constructive. Surely the school knew that kid would never hurt anyone, and knew that the bicycle chain/stool person was a walking weapon.
This society has created an underclass that has different morals and behavior norms. It started with the founders of this country believing that it was OK to deprive certain humans of their liberty, and when this was resolved to some extent, to treat them as 2/3 of a man, for legal purposes. The cycle of dependency was perpetuated by the creation of housing projects that warehoused the poor and perpetuated the culture of depravity (habitus). Due to the prevailing culture of poverty, it is difficult to break out of one's habitus to learn the middle class field.
I have been to tenements in New York City on the Lower East Side preserved as a museum. They were indeed pretty run down. The inhabitants were Jews. Do you see Jewish kids frequently jumping other kids and teachers?
This is absolutely horrifying
I can't imagine what the poor parents of that boy must've gone through. I would've cracked open that little bastard's skull myself with my bare hands. Hope he ends up in juvie and learns how tough he really is.
But I don't agree that it's more prevalent now. At least not in my experience at all, though it may have to do with the social and cultural level too. My parents grew up in a second-world country. There, it was common for kids to fight at school and on the streets; my dad grew up in a poor rural setting and saw some pretty horrific things happen as hordes of kids were running around without adult supervision most of the time. Very Lord of the Flies.
I went to an average-level school and there wasn't full on violence but certainly a lot of bullying and minor harassment which teachers ignored. Scuffles after school, drugs, fairly open sexual harassment were common.
My sister, 11 years younger, went to a very highly rated school, and there was zero tolerance for bullying. She says she hasn't seen practically any throughout her whole school life, aside from subtle mean-girl drama. Most of the kids themselves were from good families and strongly against bullying.
My oldest kid is in a school now with a similar policy; they had a kindergartener girl hit another on the playground and it was a huge deal, both families were called in for a meeting with the teacher and principal etc. I have heard of some bullying issues in the high schools, but if it goes on it seems very covert and certainly nothing approaching criminal assault. The kids here are from educated, involved families, high achievers and college-bound, and the vast majority won't do anything stupid enough to jeopardize their records just for cheap thrills.
My FIL recently got my 7 year old a copy of Tom Sawyer, which is a bit too old for him and difficult in terms of language. Not remembering it very well myself, I tried reading it to him, and was sort of shocked at how much aggression and fighting was described among the boys of that time. In fact, after a few pages I decided not to return to it for a while, because I didn't want my kid to hear about kids pummeling each other for no good reason. This kind of behavior was common and accepted for boys back then, but would be entirely unacceptable in today's generation.
Last edited by EvilCookie; 02-13-2017 at 12:07 AM..
I have been to tenements in New York City on the Lower East Side preserved as a museum. They were indeed pretty run down. The inhabitants were Jews. Do you see Jewish kids frequently jumping other kids and teachers?
I am talking about more than just living in reduced circumstances. The Jewish religion/culture is a different set of circumstances than what I described. Not the same!
12 year old boy from Elgin, Illinois (a Chicago suburb) was beaten in school by another classmate when he accidentally bumped into him! Injuries were so bad that he had to be put into a medically induced coma! Truly sickening! My question is, where were these teachers during all of this? The other boy had a history of reckless behavior.
When I was 21 I drove a school bus for children in middle school with special needs in Elgin. Some of them were indeed quite violent, but nothing like that. I had a few of them get in my face but I was never afraid of them at any time.
When I was in middle school, in a totally white middle class school, one of my friends killed another friends mother. Why? It drug fueled. It shocked the whole community. Our school had it's fights, but they were few and far between. What's the difference between kids now and when I was growing up? We watched violent movies but didn't act like idiots because of them. There was drugs in high school, but it wasn't the norm. I think we were better supervised because most of our mothers didn't work. We also didn't have gangs and that thug culture so embraced by the young ones. Did that young man beat up that teenager who bumped into him because he "disrespected" him? Or is he just bad seed?
Elgin has always been a bit of a gritty town and very diverse. I remember riding my bike after midnight through some sketchy areas but I never felt unsafe. Talk about a beautiful town at night. I love the old houses and the mansions. Lords Park is still one of my favorite places on this planet. Just be very careful there at night. I have many happy memories of climbing the fence and skinny dipping in the pool on hot summer nights.
You would think Elgin would be in the news more for things like this, especially when you consider the gangs that live there. Maybe there's a lot that goes on there that doesn't make the news? Either way it's sad because I can only imagine how spectacular that town was when it was new. It is a sad surrender when our youth lower the bar and choose to do evil. That young man who beat that other young man into a coma is disturbed in my book and needs to do some serious time on the couch with a professional. I was watching a program about serial killers and how they are on the rise here in America. Chilling. So is this gang banging thug culture embraced by our youth.
( I don't think I'd consider Elgin a suburb of Chicago btw. It's quite a way out and in a different county.)
Just wanted to point out this happened in "South Elgin" and not "Elgin."
Elgin is a historical, industrial riverfront town that does have some sketchy areas, riverboat gambling, illegal immigration issues, homelessness, gang activity, etc., but I do love it's historical character, old homes, music/arts center (e.g. Hemmens Center, orchestras, theaters..).
I believe (haven't been there in years) that South Elgin, OTOH, is peppered with sprawling, newer subdivisions plopped in the cornfields with IMHO little character or a town center. It feels extremely suburban to me (or "exurban" since it's so far from Chicago).
I find Elgin and South Elgin very different from each other. I'd probably prefer to live in downtown Elgin despite its undesirable enclaves.
When I read about this poor South Elgin boy, I definitely pictured a conservative, low-diversity, middle-class suburban school environment, bordering on farmland. But I haven't been in that neck of the woods in awhile, so maybe it has changed.
Just wanted to point out this happened in "South Elgin" and not "Elgin."
Elgin is a historical, industrial riverfront town that does have some sketchy areas, riverboat gambling, illegal immigration issues, homelessness, gang activity, etc., but I do love it's historical character, old homes, music/arts center (e.g. Hemmens Center, orchestras, theaters..).
I believe (haven't been there in years) that South Elgin, OTOH, is peppered with sprawling, newer subdivisions plopped in the cornfields with IMHO little character or a town center. It feels extremely suburban to me (or "exurban" since it's so far from Chicago).
I find Elgin and South Elgin very different from each other. I'd probably prefer to live in downtown Elgin despite its undesirable enclaves.
When I read about this poor South Elgin boy, I definitely pictured a conservative, low-diversity, middle-class suburban school environment, bordering on farmland. But I haven't been in that neck of the woods in awhile, so maybe it has changed.
I believe you are correct!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
