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If it wasn't for gay couples, the wedding industry might be in the toilet. Write that down, cake bakers.
Don't forget the delay paying for their own insurance.
No wonder old people are delaying retirement. They are still stuck with their kids.
Many younger kids see marriage as more of a contract with default and termination for convenience clauses. They do not want to be tied down and want to be able to readily get out if anything gets uncomfortable or not to their liking.
Side hustles are gigs that people pick up to supplement their income. It's very common in major cities like NYC, LA, Chicago, etc. Side hustles can include dog walking, DJing, freelance work, creating an Etsy or eBay shop online, performance work like being in a band or putting on shows, tutoring, labor jobs like helping people move/assemble IKEA furniture, driving for Uber/Lyft/Instacart/TaskRabbit, etc. They can be hobbies you monetize or part time self employment jobs you do outside your full time work.
Again, millennials as a whole aren't lazy. Between full time work and side hustles, many may be working over 60+ hours a week.
Last edited by toosie; 07-30-2017 at 06:24 AM..
Reason: Deleted quoted post and orphaned part of your response
IMO, it is because more and more young people don't see the advantage in being married. (NOT the case 50 years ago!)
Personally, I think that's sad.
Maybe financial, but in personal terms, I still cherish the memories of the first one, and he's still a very good friend. The second... when it ended I said I didn't ever want to see him and never did. And he was a liar. That piece of paper doesn't guarentee anything if there isn't real caring and honesty between those in a close relationship. I think millenials understand that, and see 'marriage' as a legal setup which applies mostly to kids.
But then, we have the gay community and to them, as they haven't been allowed to officially join two people with love, they are celebrating the real meaning of choosing to marry.
As someone who remembers the non marriage with great fondness and love, and wishes the other could have been made non existant, I'd have to have a long relationship first before I'd add legalities.
And yeah, it kills me when baby boomers and their ilk continue to berate millennials without acknowledging the horrific economy many of us grew into and are still dealing with. No matter how often you tell them that times are different and you can't work your way through college and pay for it out of pocket, that you can't buy a house with the wages from your first post-college job, that you can't afford to rent an apartment, pay expenses, and save for retirement on stagnant wages, that you can't afford to start a family in this day and age right out of college in most cities/large towns, they just continue to call us lazy and entitled. They need to stop reminiscing back to the days where people had long-lasting careers, got married, bought houses, and had babies all before turning 25yo.
When I started college in the early 70s at the major state university, my tuition was $25 per credit hour. I was working part-time at $2.50 per hour. Yeah, I could actually pay for tuition and books with my part-time job every semester.
I have a Millennial daughter, and I'm quite aware that the situation today is vastly different. Her mother and I working together couldn't even pay "as you go" for her tuition.
Maybe financial, but in personal terms, I still cherish the memories of the first one, and he's still a very good friend. The second... when it ended I said I didn't ever want to see him and never did. And he was a liar. That piece of paper doesn't guarentee anything if there isn't real caring and honesty between those in a close relationship. I think millenials understand that, and see 'marriage' as a legal setup which applies mostly to kids.
But then, we have the gay community and to them, as they haven't been allowed to officially join two people with love, they are celebrating the real meaning of choosing to marry.
As someone who remembers the non marriage with great fondness and love, and wishes the other could have been made non existant, I'd have to have a long relationship first before I'd add legalities.
Many LGBTQ don't marry and many have no desire to marry. For LGBTQ couple, getting married is less about honoring the tradition and more about appearing legitimate in the eyes of the government. Before marriage equality passed, LGBTQ couple who had been together for decades still wouldn't have been allowed to visit a sick/dying loved on in the hospital or have a say in certain legal matters. A hetero couple in a similar relationship would be considered common law in many states and impart them some rights and protections in some areas.
So yeah, legal setup, an official piece of paper to wave in front of the government for the benefit of certain rights and privileges. May sound cynical, but it's true.
I live in Brooklyn now and have lived in several other cities and states and, for me at least, the major issue is that the hook-up culture is so prevalent and I'm personally not into it. The hook-up culture can explain part of the reason people aren't getting married (because let's be real, there are still young people getting married because of the stigma of having out-of-wedlock sex). There are tons of young professionals, but, the flip side of that is there are a lot of young professional who put career success over relationship success, including marriage. Most of the young people I'm surrounded by have a long list of things they want to do before settling down (OT: ever noticed the negative connotation of the word "settle"? Like settling down is what you do when there are no other options left? I think it's telling that that phrase is synonymous with marriage). They want to start businesses, become successful artists, travel, live in different cities/states/countries, try different careers, continue having fun (nothing wrong with fun) etc.
And yeah, it kills me when baby boomers and their ilk continue to berate millennials without acknowledging the horrific economy many of us grew into and are still dealing with. No matter how often you tell them that times are different and you can't work your way through college and pay for it out of pocket, that you can't buy a house with the wages from your first post-college job, that you can't afford to rent an apartment, pay expenses, and save for retirement on stagnant wages, that you can't afford to start a family in this day and age right out of college in most cities/large towns, they just continue to call us lazy and entitled. They need to stop reminiscing back to the days where people had long-lasting careers, got married, bought houses, and had babies all before turning 25yo.
I know people who marry and "settle" and still do all that stuff like traveling the world, living in different places, but they just do it as a pair. I know one couple that are DJs and go all over the world playing at clubs. Setting down is only boring if someone makes it that way.
Another problem is that jobs are largely grouping in a handful of major metros. Years ago you could get a job at a factory in some affordable small town and work/live there forever. Now in some fields like tech you have no choice but to live in places like SF with extremely high costs of living.
Delayed weddings don't have a direct relationship with living at home. They are related to a third factor, the general economy. But it's not as though Millennials are living at home because they can't get married, or that they can't get married because they're living at home.
A lot of old people are delaying retirement because the same economy put them behind the eight ball in their late middle age.
I finally moved out of the parents home and out of state at 29. I would've done so sooner if my own mom didn't have to keep borrowing money from me to keep the lights on and food on her table. Of course thinking back, I could've left sooner and just lived on the streets/faked an address for a job had I grew a pair sooner.
Of course now that I've been in my own place and on my own for five years, I've still got my mom continually hounding me for support as usual since she never really grew out of her "I need a man to take care of me" phase.
Sadly, I wouldn't really blame this totally on her since Malaysian culture tends to be one of those garbage, patriarchal ones that stresses marriage and the entire family living in close proximity to each other years after everyone has grown old. Only thing I could do for her now is offer to pay for some sort of schooling, or just give her one of those pre-paid debit cards not linked to my bank account with a far off expiration date and put an allowance into it.
As for marriage for myself, I've never dated before due to all the headaches and legal/criminal issues I've seen friends suffer from. Having bills to pay and such is bad enough. Having to potentially deal with divorce or domestic violence consequences due to some random squabble would cause me to truly go insane.
No thanks. I'll build my reserves and tread lightly through the rest of life. Hand out books that encourage independence and running away at a younger age to the kids when they want something to read.
Perhaps it is time to bring back the trend of kids running away from home and starting their new lives early.
I'm 33yo and every millennial I know over the age of 25 busts their asses on a near daily basis. They're holding down full time jobs, part time jobs, and "side hustles". If they're living at home it's because rental costs in the majority of cities have outpaced wages, or because the added load of student loans have messed with people's credit scores so they can't get their own place, or because they are being financially smart and trying to save up money. There are a variety of reasons people don't move out of their parents' home and "laziness", in my experience, is more often at the bottom of that list.
Enough of this tired trope that millennials are lazy because they got trophies. I didn't get trophies or awards for just showing up. This is a BS idea that maybe applies to wealthy suburban kids whose parents filled up their schedules with soccer games, music camps, karate, and ballet classes, but it doesn't apply to a whole swath of people born within a specific range of years. Let's just end that incorrect rhetoric right there and try to come up with a less used cliche.
As for marriages, why would anyone my age married? We've seen the rising divorce rates, many have been personally affected by it. Women as just as likely, if not more likely, to be college educated and earn as much or more than their partners so they don't need to rely on the income of a breadwinner husband. Despite what you may see on reality TV shows and gossip rags, many millennials are over the big, overly expensive weddings in much the same way we're over McMasions and massive SUVs. Lots of women and girls have the increase confidence to be "independent women" and have learned that they don't need to be tied down in a relationship (especially a bad relationship) to be happy. Many of us are just trying to build up our brand or career and aren't ready to settle into the cliche of a married, suburban lifestyle.
Personally, outside of tax and legal reasons (especially if children are involved), I don't see much of benefit to marriage. Marriage doesn't equal commitment; lots of people who get married divorce within weeks/months/years and many couple who don't get officially married stay together for decades. Stop placing marriage on this hallowed pedestal, stop making it this requirement to advance to the next level of adulthood that must be passed in order to find true happiness, success, and enlightenment.
Or they are living at home so they don't have to have roommates or want to settle for less than they had as children. I'd like to see research on single motherhood and this issue, that is, single mothers are only too happy to have their children continue to live with them and delay marriage.
When I started college in the early 70s at the major state university, my tuition was $25 per credit hour. I was working part-time at $2.50 per hour. Yeah, I could actually pay for tuition and books with my part-time job every semester.
I have a Millennial daughter, and I'm quite aware that the situation today is vastly different. Her mother and I working together couldn't even pay "as you go" for her tuition.
I worked full-time and put myself through college at night. I didn't live with my parents.
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